It's a wonderful time - childhood! Carelessness, pranks, games, eternal “whys” and, of course, funny stories from the lives of children - funny, memorable, making you smile involuntarily.
Publicly warned
One mother of a beautiful six-year-old son often had no one to leave her not always obedient child at home with. Therefore, sometimes she takes the baby with her to work (to an exhibition). On one of these days, the driver calls my mother and asks her to pick up some booklets from the checkpoint. She leaves, and strictly orders her son to sit still and not go anywhere. In general, it takes a certain amount of time to find a driver, arrange and pick up booklets, and deliver them to the desired location. And so... Approaching her lady, she sees a bunch of people laughing and taking pictures of something at the stand. My son is not there! But there is a piece of paper A-4 attached to the stand, on which it is written in large letters: “I’ll be there soon. What am I!”
This same mother once asked dad to play with his son while she prepared dinner. After a while, he hears a whining voice from the room: “Dad, I’m tired... Can I go play?” Looking into the room, he sees the following picture: a father lying on the sofa, and a son in full uniform (helmet, cloak, sword), marching back and forth along the sofa. To the question: “What is this?” - my son answers: “Dad and I play King of the Sofa!” Such a funny story about children can not only make you plunge headlong into your own memories.
Shh! Dad is sleeping
And here is another funny story about children from life. One mother left a three-year-old child with his father for just a couple of hours. He comes and sees the following picture: dad is sleeping sweetly on the sofa, wearing a toy from (a bunny and a fox) on both hands. The child covered it with his small blanket, placed a high chair next to it, a cup of juice on it, and an obligatory attribute - a potty near the sofa. He closed the door and sat quietly in the corridor, and showed his mother when she came in: “Shhh! Dad sleeps there."
The child watched a fairy tale about Scheherazade and, impressed by such a magical film, says to his beloved grandmother, who is wearing a robe of oriental colors: “Grandma, what are you, Scheherazade?”
The baby does not eat well, and almost the whole family gathers to feed him. And everyone persuades the capricious boy to eat at least a spoonful. And even the grandfather says: “Don’t worry, grandson! When I was a child, I didn’t eat well, so my mother scolded me for it and even beat me.” To such a sincere confession, the granddaughter replies: “That’s what I see, grandpa, that all your teeth are false...”
Kitty Kitty Kitty
And this is a funny story about children from real life. One grandmother, a former site manager, who did not mince words at work and at home, spent a certain period raising her grandson. One fine day, this couple went to the store, where the grandmother had to stand in a long line. The grandson found this activity boring, and he decided to make friends with the store cat:
Kitty! Kitty, kitty, come here.
The cat, apparently, was not interested in these affections, and he hid under the counter. But the boy is persistent! The boy is persistent! Now he needs to get the cat at any cost:
Kitty, kitty-kitty, come to me, my dear.
The animal has zero reaction.
Kitty, ... fuck, come here to ..., I said, - the childish boyish voice continued. The line burst into laughter, and the grandmother, grabbing her grandson under her arm, quickly retreated. And it seems that she even stopped using swear words.
About home canning
Mom and son were salting and sorting out the broken ones. She threw them down the toilet. The following dialogue took place between her and the child who came out of the toilet:
Mom, stop salting mushrooms!
How is it?
Because you constantly taste them for salt.
And what from this?
So you’ve already started pooping with them! I myself saw them floating in the toilet.
Once upon a time there was a Little Red Riding Hood...
And this funny story is about children, or rather, about the child of one busy dad who recently had the opportunity to put his son to bed. And the baby ordered his dad to tell him an interesting bedtime story, namely his favorite one - about Little Red Riding Hood.
Once upon a time there was a little girl in the world, and her name was Little Red Riding Hood,” the father, who came home from work very tired, began his story.
“She went to visit her beloved grandmother,” he continued, already half asleep, unable to fight sleep himself.
He woke up because his son was indignantly pushing him in the side:
Dad! What were the police doing there and who is Yuri Gagarin?
Where's the child?
A funny story about children from real life about how a careless father forgot his child on a walk. And it was like this. He somehow took the initiative and proudly offered his candidacy for a walk with his five-month-old daughter on the street. Mom, knowing his irresponsibility, told him to take a walk near the house. After an hour and a half, the joyful dad returns, albeit alone. Mom almost turned gray without seeing the stroller with the child. And he, it turns out, met a friend, and since he was smoking, they moved aside so that the child would not breathe in the smoke. And dad forgot while talking about the child. So I came home. I had to urgently run to that place; It's good that everything worked out okay.
Here's a funny story about children in kindergarten. Dad came to the nursery to pick up his child for the first time. The children were still sleeping at that moment, and the teacher, busy with something, asked the dad to dress his child himself, only quietly, so as not to wake up the sleeping kids. In general, the picture that appeared before my mother was this: my beloved daughter in boyish pants, a shirt and someone else’s slippers. All weekend, the shocked woman represented the poor boy who, due to circumstances, had to wear a pink dress. And all because dad confused the chair with clothes.
Funny stories about little children
A 4-year-old daughter comes running to her mother with a question about whether she will be an apple.
Of course,” says the satisfied mother, “did you wash them?”
Only later did the mother realize that the only place where her daughter could wash the fruit was the toilet, because that was the only place the baby could get it.
Funny stories from the lives of children are found at every step, and even in the central department store, where one fine day a mother and her 4-year-old son were walking. They pass by the department for newlyweds.
Mom,” says the baby, “let’s buy you such a beautiful white dress.”
What are you doing, son! This dress is for a bride who is getting married.
“And you will come out, don’t worry,” the boy reassures.
So I'm already married, son.
Yes? - the baby is surprised. - Who did you marry and didn’t tell me?
So this is your dad!
Well, it’s good that it’s not some unfamiliar guy,” the boy said, having calmed down.
Mom, buy a phone
A 5-year-old son asks his mother to buy him a mobile phone.
Why do you need him? - Mom is interested.
“I need it very much,” the boy answers.
So, but still? Why do you need a phone? - the parent asks.
So you and teacher Maria Ivanovna always scold me for not eating well in kindergarten. And so I will call you and tell you to give me cutlets.
No less funny story about children. This time we will remember the conversation between a 4-year-old child and his grandmother.
Grandma, please give birth to a baby, otherwise I have no one to play with. Mom and Dad don't have time.
So how do I give birth? “I won’t be able to give birth to anyone anymore,” the grandmother answers.
A! “I understand,” Roma guessed. - You are a male! I saw the program on TV.
On the path...
Funny stories from the lives of children always bring us back to childhood - light, carefree and so naive!
Before leaving home, teacher Elena Andreevna says to a 3-year-old boy:
We go outside, we will walk there and wait for mom. So go down the path to the toilet.
The boy left and disappeared. The teacher, without waiting for the baby, went in search of him. Going out into the corridor, he sees the following picture: a confused boy stands between the two with an expression of complete bewilderment on his face and says:
Elena Andreevna, did you say which path to go to the toilet on: blue or red?
Here's a funny story about children.
The Motherland is calling!
Funny stories from the lives of children at school also amaze with the unpredictability of students, their antics and resourcefulness. In one class there was a boy named Rodin. And his mother was a teacher at the same school. Once she asked one schoolboy to call her son from class. He flies into the classroom and shouts:
Motherland is calling!
The first reaction of students and teachers is numbness, misunderstanding, fear...
After the words: “Rodin, come out, your mother is calling you,” the class fell under their desks with laughter.
In one school, a teacher dictated an essay to elementary school students based on Prishvin’s work. The meaning was how hard the life of a bunny in the forest is, how everyone offends him, how he has to get food for himself in the cold winter. One day the animal found a rowan bush in the forest and began to eat the berries. Literally, the last phrase of the dictation sounded like this: “The furry animal is full.”
In the evening, the teacher simply cried over her essays. Literally all the students wrote the word “full” with two letters “s”.
At another school, one student constantly wrote the word “walk” with an “o” (“shol”). The teacher got tired of correcting his mistakes all the time, and after lessons she forced the student to write the word “walked” on the board a hundred times. The boy coped with the task perfectly, and at the end he wrote: “I left.”
Unfortunately, modern fairy tales, despite their diversity and great amount, do not carry the brilliant semantic load that children's literature of past years can boast of. Therefore, we are increasingly introducing our children to the works of writers who have long established themselves as skilled masters of writing. One of these masters is Nikolai Nosov, known to us as the author of The Adventures of Dunno and His Friends, Mishkina Porridge, Entertainers, Vitya Maleev at School and at Home and other equally popular stories.
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It is worth noting that Nosov’s stories, which can be read by children at any age, are difficult to classify as fairy tales. These are rather artistic narratives about the lives of ordinary boys who, like everyone else in childhood, went to school, made friends with the guys and found adventures in completely unexpected places and situations. Nosov's stories are a partial description of the author's childhood, his dreams, fantasies and relationships with peers. However, it is worth noting that the author was not at all interested in literature, and certainly did not try to write anything for the public. The turning point in his life was the birth of his son. Nosov's fairy tales were born literally on the fly, when a young father lulled his son to sleep, telling him about the adventures of ordinary boys. This is how a simple adult man turned into a writer whose stories have been reread by more than one generation of children.
After some time, Nikolai Nikolaevich realized that he could write witty and funny stories about the guys, this is the best thing he could imagine. The writer got down to business seriously and began publishing his works, which immediately became popular and in demand. The author turned out to be a good psychologist, and thanks to his competent and sensitive approach to the boys, Nosov’s stories are very easy and pleasant to read. Light irony and wit do not offend the reader in any way; on the contrary, it makes you smile once again or even laugh at the heroes of truly living fairy tales.
Nosov's stories for children will seem simple interesting story, the adult reader involuntarily recognizes himself in childhood. It is also pleasant to read Nosov’s fairy tales for the reason that they were written in simple language without sugary dilutions. What can also be considered surprising is the fact that the author was able to avoid ideological implications in his stories, which was the sin of children's writers of that time.
Of course, it is best to read Nosov’s fairy tales in the original, without any adaptations. That is why on the pages of our website you can read all of Nosov’s stories online without fear for the safety of the originality of the author’s lines.
Read Nosov's fairy tales
Entertainers
The boy Yasha always loved to climb everywhere and get into everything. As soon as they brought any suitcase or box, Yasha immediately found himself in it.
And he climbed into all sorts of bags. And into the closets. And under the tables.
Mom often said:
“I’m afraid that if I go to the post office with him, he’ll get into some empty parcel and they’ll send him to Kzyl-Orda.”
He got a lot of trouble for this.
And then Yasha new fashion took it and began to fall from everywhere. When the house heard:
- Uh! – everyone understood that Yasha had fallen from somewhere. And the louder the “uh” was, the greater the altitude from which Yasha flew. For example, mom hears:
- Uh! - that means it’s okay. It was Yasha who simply fell off his stool.
If you hear:
- Uh-uh! - this means the matter is very serious. It was Yasha who fell off the table. We need to go and inspect his lumps. And when visiting, Yasha climbed everywhere, and even tried to climb onto the shelves in the store.
One day dad said:
“Yasha, if you climb anywhere else, I don’t know what I’ll do to you.” I'll tie you to the vacuum cleaner with ropes. And you will walk everywhere with a vacuum cleaner. And you will go to the store with your mother with a vacuum cleaner, and in the yard you will play in the sand tied to the vacuum cleaner.
Yasha was so scared that after these words he didn’t climb anywhere for half a day.
And then he finally climbed onto dad’s table and fell down along with the phone. Dad took it and actually tied it to the vacuum cleaner.
Yasha walks around the house, and the vacuum cleaner follows him like a dog. And he goes to the store with his mother with a vacuum cleaner, and plays in the yard. Very uncomfortable. You can't climb a fence or ride a bike.
But Yasha learned to turn on the vacuum cleaner. Now, instead of “uh”, “uh-uh” began to be heard constantly.
As soon as mom sits down to knit socks for Yasha, suddenly all over the house - “oo-oo-oo”. Mom is jumping up and down.
We decided to come to an amicable agreement. Yasha was untied from the vacuum cleaner. And he promised not to climb anywhere else. Dad said:
– This time, Yasha, I will be stricter. I'll tie you to a stool. And I’ll nail the stool to the floor. And you will live with a stool, like a dog with a kennel.
Yasha was very afraid of such punishment.
But then a very wonderful opportunity turned up - we bought a new wardrobe.
First Yasha climbed into the closet. He sat in the closet for a long time, banging his forehead against the walls. This is an interesting matter. Then I got bored and went out.
He decided to climb onto the closet.
Yasha moved the dining table to the closet and climbed onto it. But I didn’t reach the top of the closet.
Then he placed a light chair on the table. He climbed onto the table, then onto the chair, then onto the back of the chair and began to climb onto the closet. I'm already halfway across.
And then the chair slipped out from under his feet and fell to the floor. And Yasha remained half on the closet, half in the air.
Somehow he climbed onto the closet and fell silent. Try telling your mom:
- Oh, mom, I’m sitting on the closet!
Mom will immediately transfer him to a stool. And he will live like a dog all his life near the stool.
Here he sits and is silent. Five minutes, ten minutes, five more minutes. In general, almost a whole month. And Yasha slowly began to cry.
And mom hears: Yasha can’t hear something.
And if you can’t hear Yasha, it means Yasha is doing something wrong. Or he chews matches, or he climbed up to his knees into the aquarium, or he draws Cheburashka on his father’s papers.
Mom started looking in different places. And in the closet, and in the nursery, and in dad’s office. And there is order everywhere: dad works, the clock is ticking. And if there is order everywhere, it means that something difficult must have happened to Yasha. Something extraordinary.
Mom screams:
- Yasha, where are you?
But Yasha is silent.
- Yasha, where are you?
But Yasha is silent.
Then mom started thinking. He sees a chair lying on the floor. He sees that the table is not in place. He sees Yasha sitting on the closet.
Mom asks:
- Well, Yasha, are you going to sit on the closet all your life now, or are we going to climb down?
Yasha doesn't want to go down. He is afraid that he will be tied to a stool.
He says:
- I won’t get down.
Mom says:
- Okay, let's live on the closet. Now I'll bring you lunch.
She brought Yasha soup in a plate, a spoon and bread, and a small table and a stool.
Yasha was having lunch on the closet.
Then his mother brought him a potty on the closet. Yasha was sitting on the potty.
And in order to wipe his butt, mom had to stand on the table herself.
At this time, two boys came to visit Yasha.
Mom asks:
- Well, should you serve Kolya and Vitya for the cupboard?
Yasha says:
- Serve.
And then dad couldn’t stand it from his office:
“Now I’ll come and visit him at his closet.” Not just one, but with a strap. Remove it from the cabinet immediately.
They took Yasha out of the closet, and he said:
“Mom, the reason I didn’t get off is because I’m afraid of the stool.” Dad promised to tie me to the stool.
“Oh, Yasha,” says mom, “you’re still little.” You don't understand jokes. Go play with the guys.
But Yasha understood jokes.
But he also understood that dad didn’t like to joke.
He can easily tie Yasha to a stool. And Yasha didn’t climb anywhere else.
How the boy Yasha ate poorly
Yasha was good to everyone, but he ate poorly. All the time with concerts. Either mom sings to him, then dad shows him tricks. And he gets along well:
- Don't want.
Mom says:
- Yasha, eat your porridge.
- Don't want.
Dad says:
- Yasha, drink juice!
- Don't want.
Mom and Dad are tired of trying to persuade him every time. And then my mother read in one scientific pedagogical book that children do not need to be persuaded to eat. You need to put a plate of porridge in front of them and wait until they get hungry and eat everything.
They set and placed plates in front of Yasha, but he didn’t eat or eat anything. He doesn’t eat cutlets, soup, or porridge. He became thin and dead, like a straw.
- Yasha, eat your porridge!
- Don't want.
- Yasha, eat your soup!
- Don't want.
Previously, his pants were difficult to fasten, but now he was hanging out completely freely in them. It was possible to put another Yasha in these pants.
And then one day a strong wind blew.
And Yasha was playing in the area. He was very light, and the wind blew him around the area. I rolled to the wire mesh fence. And there Yasha got stuck.
So he sat, pressed against the fence by the wind, for an hour.
Mom calls:
- Yasha, where are you? Go home and suffer with the soup.
But he doesn't come. You can't even hear him. He not only became dead, but his voice also became dead. You can't hear anything about him squeaking there.
And he squeaks:
- Mom, take me away from the fence!
Mom began to worry - where did Yasha go? Where to look for it? Yasha is neither seen nor heard.
Dad said this:
“I think our Yasha was blown away somewhere by the wind.” Come on, mom, we'll take the pot of soup out onto the porch. The wind will blow and bring the smell of soup to Yasha. He will come crawling to this delicious smell.
V. Golyavkin
How we climbed into the pipe
A huge pipe lay in the yard, and Vovka and I sat on it. We sat on this pipe, and then I said:
Let's climb into the pipe. We'll get in at one end and come out the other. Who will get out faster?
Vovka said:
What if we suffocate there?
There are two windows in the pipe, I said, just like in a room. Are you breathing in the room?
Vovka said:
What kind of room is this? Since it's a pipe. - He always argues.
I climbed first, and Vovka counted. He counted to thirteen when I got out.
“Come on, here I am,” said Vovka.
He climbed into the pipe, and I counted. I counted to sixteen.
“You count quickly,” he said, “come on!” And he climbed into the pipe again.
I counted to fifteen.
It’s not stuffy there at all,” he said, “it’s very cool there.”
Then Petka Yashchikov came up to us.
And we, I say, climb into the pipe! I got out at the count of thirteen, and he got out at the count of fifteen.
“Come on,” said Petya.
And he also climbed into the pipe.
He got out at eighteen.
We started laughing.
He climbed again.
He came out very sweaty.
So how? - he asked.
Sorry,” I said, “we weren’t counting just now.”
What does that mean I crawled for nothing? He was offended, but climbed again.
I counted to sixteen.
Well,” he said, “it will gradually work out!” - And he climbed into the pipe again. This time he crawled there for a long time. Almost twenty. He got angry and wanted to climb again, but I said:
Let others climb,” he pushed him away and climbed himself. I got a bump and crawled for a long time. I was very hurt.
I got out at the count of thirty.
“We thought you were missing,” said Petya.
Then Vovka climbed up. I’ve already counted to forty, but he still won’t come out. I look into the chimney - it’s dark there. And there is no other end in sight.
Suddenly he gets out. From the end where you got in. But he climbed out head first. Not with your feet. This is what surprised us!
Wow,” says Vovka, “I almost got stuck. How did you turn there?”
“With difficulty,” says Vovka, “I almost got stuck.”
We were really surprised!
Then Mishka Menshikov came up.
What are you doing here, he says?
“Well,” I say, “we’re climbing into the pipe.” Do you want to climb?
No, he says, I don’t want to. Why should I climb there?
And we, I say, climb there.
It’s obvious,” he says.
What can you see?
Why did you climb there?
We look at each other. And it really is visible. We are all covered in red rust. Everything seemed rusty. Just creepy!
Well, I’m off,” says Mishka Menshikov. And he went.
And we didn’t go into the pipe anymore. Although we were all already rusty. We already had it anyway. It was possible to climb. But we still didn’t climb.
Annoying Misha
Misha learned two poems by heart, and there was no peace from him. He climbed onto stools, sofas, even tables and, shaking his head, immediately began to read one poem after another.
Once he went to the girl Masha’s Christmas tree, without taking off his coat, climbed onto a chair and began to read one poem after another.
Masha even told him: “Misha, you’re not an artist!”
But he didn’t hear, he read it all to the end, got off his chair and was so happy that it’s even surprising!
And in the summer he went to the village. There was a large stump in my grandmother's garden. Misha climbed onto a stump and began to read one poem after another to his grandmother.
One must think how tired he was of his grandmother!
Then the grandmother took Misha into the forest. And there was deforestation in the forest. And then Misha saw so many stumps that his eyes widened.
Which stump should you stand on?
He was very confused!
And so his grandmother brought him back, so confused. And from then on he did not read poems unless asked.
Prize
We made original costumes - no one else will have them! I will be a horse, and Vovka will be a knight. The only bad thing is that he has to ride me, and not me on him. And all because I'm a little younger. See what happens! But nothing can be done. True, we agreed with him: he will not ride me all the time. He will ride me a little, and then he will get off and lead me behind him, like horses are led by the bridle.
And so we went to the carnival.
We came to the club in ordinary suits, and then changed clothes and went into the hall. That is, we moved in. I crawled on all fours. And Vovka was sitting on my back. True, Vovka helped me move my feet on the floor. But it was still not easy for me.
Besides, I didn't see anything. I was wearing a horse mask. I couldn’t see anything at all, although the mask had holes for the eyes. But they were somewhere on the forehead. I was crawling in the dark. I bumped into someone's feet. I ran into the column twice. What can I say! Sometimes I shook my head, then the mask slipped off and I saw the light. But for a moment. And then it was completely dark again. After all, I couldn’t shake my head all the time!
At least for a moment I saw the light. But Vovka saw nothing at all. And he kept asking me what was ahead. And he asked me to crawl more carefully. I crawled carefully anyway. I didn’t see anything myself. How could I know what was ahead! Someone stepped on my hand. I stopped immediately. And he refused to crawl any further. I told Vovka:
Enough. Get off.
Vovka probably enjoyed the ride and didn’t want to get off. He said it was too early. But still he got down, took me by the bridle, and I crawled on. Now it was easier for me to crawl, although I still couldn’t see anything. I suggested taking off the masks and looking at the carnival, and then putting the masks back on. But Vovka said:
Then they will recognize us.
It must be fun here, I said. - Only we don’t see anything...
But Vovka walked in silence. He firmly decided to endure until the end and receive the first prize. My knees started to hurt. I said:
I'll sit on the floor now.
Can horses sit? - said Vovka. Are you crazy! You're a horse!
“I’m not a horse,” I said. - You are a horse yourself.
No, you’re a horse,” Vovka answered. - And you know perfectly well that you are a horse, We will not receive a bonus
Well, let it be, I said. - I'm sick of.
“Don’t do anything stupid,” said Vovka. - Be patient.
I crawled to the wall, leaned against it and sat on the floor.
You are sitting? - asked Vovka.
“I’m sitting,” I said.
“Okay,” Vovka agreed. - You can still sit on the floor. Just be careful not to sit on the chair. Then everything was gone. Do you understand? A horse - and suddenly on a chair!..
Music was blaring all around and people were laughing.
I asked:
Will it end soon?
Be patient,” said Vovka, “probably soon... Vovka couldn’t stand it either. I sat down on the sofa. I sat down next to him. Then Vovka fell asleep on the sofa. And I fell asleep too. Then they woke us up and gave us a bonus.
We're playing in Antarctica
Mom left home somewhere. And we were left alone. And we got bored. We turned the table over. They pulled a blanket over the table legs. And it turned out to be a tent. It's like we're in Antarctica. Where our dad is now.
Vitka and I climbed into the tent.
We were very pleased that Vitka and I were sitting in a tent, although not in Antarctica, but as if in Antarctica, with ice and wind all around us. But we were tired of sitting in a tent.
Vitka said:
Winterers don’t sit like that in a tent all the time. They're probably doing something.
Surely, I said, they catch whales, seals and do something else. Of course they don't sit like that all the time!
Suddenly I saw our cat. I shouted:
Here's a seal!
Hooray! - Vitka shouted. - Grab him! - He also saw a cat.
The cat was walking towards us. Then she stopped. She looked at us carefully. And she ran back. She didn't want to be a seal. She wanted to be a cat. I understood this immediately. But what could we do! There was nothing we could do. We need to catch someone! I ran, tripped, fell, got up, but the cat was nowhere to be found.
She is here! - Vitka yelled. - Run here!
Vitka’s legs were sticking out from under the bed.
I crawled under the bed. It was dark and dusty there. But the cat was not there.
“I’m getting out,” I said. - There is no cat here.
“Here she is,” Vitka argued. - I saw her run here.
I got out all dusty and started sneezing. Vitka kept fiddling around under the bed.
“She’s there,” Vitka insisted.
Well, let it be, I said. - I won't go there. I sat there for an hour. I'm over it.
Just think! - said Vitka. - And I?! I climb here more than you.
Finally Vitka also got out.
Here she is! - I shouted. The cat was sitting on the bed.
I almost grabbed her by the tail, but Vitka pushed me, the cat jumped - and onto the closet! Try to get it out of the closet!
“What kind of seal is this,” I said. - Can a seal sit on a closet?
Let it be a penguin,” said Vitka. - It's like he's sitting on an ice floe. Let's whistle and shout. He will then get scared. And he will jump from the closet. This time we'll catch the penguin.
We started yelling and whistling as loud as we could. I really don't know how to whistle. Only Vitka whistled. But I screamed at the top of my lungs. Almost hoarse.
But the penguin doesn’t seem to hear. A very cunning penguin. He hides there and sits.
“Come on,” I say, “let’s throw something at him.” Well, at least we'll throw a pillow.
We threw a pillow on the closet. But the cat didn’t jump out of there.
Then we put three more pillows on the closet, mom’s coat, all of mom’s dresses, dad’s skis, a saucepan, dad’s and mom’s slippers, a lot of books and much more. But the cat didn’t jump out of there.
Maybe it's not on the closet? - I said.
“She’s there,” Vitka said.
What is it like if she’s not there?
Don't know! - says Vitka.
Vitka brought a basin of water and placed it near the closet. If a cat decides to jump from the cabinet, let it jump straight into the basin. Penguins love to dive into water.
We left something else for the closet. Wait - won't he jump? Then they placed a table next to the closet, a chair on the table, a suitcase on the chair, and they climbed onto the closet.
And there is no cat there.
The cat has disappeared. No one knows where.
Vitka began to climb down from the closet and plopped straight into the basin. Water spilled all over the room.
Then mom comes in. And behind her is our cat. She apparently jumped through the window.
Mom clasped her hands and said:
What's going on here?
Vitka remained sitting in the basin. I was so scared.
How amazing it is, says mom, that you can’t leave them alone for a minute. You have to do something like this!
Of course, we had to clean everything ourselves. And even wash the floor. And the cat walked around importantly. And she looked at us with such an expression as if she was going to say: “Now, you will know that I am a cat. And not a seal or a penguin.”
A month later our dad arrived. He told us about Antarctica, about the brave polar explorers, about their great work, and it was very funny to us that we thought that the winterers did nothing but catch various whales and seals there...
But we didn't tell anyone what we thought.
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Copyright: Golyavkin, stories for children
Valentin Berestov
There was a time when birds could not sing.
And suddenly they learned that in one distant country there lived an old, wise man who taught music.
Then the birds sent the Stork and the Nightingale to him to check if this was so.
The stork was in a hurry. He couldn't wait to become the world's first musician.
He was in such a hurry that he ran to the sage and didn’t even knock on the door, didn’t greet the old man, and shouted with all his might right in his ear:
Hey old man! Come on, teach me music!
But the sage decided to first teach him politeness.
He took the Stork out the threshold, knocked on the door and said:
You have to do it like this.
All clear! - Stork was happy.
Is this what music is? - and flew away to quickly surprise the world with his art.
The nightingale arrived later on its small wings.
He timidly knocked on the door, said hello, asked for forgiveness for disturbing me and said that he really wanted to study music.
The sage liked the friendly bird. And he taught the nightingale everything he knew.
Since then, the modest Nightingale has become the best singer in the world.
And the eccentric Stork can only knock with his beak. Moreover, he boasts and teaches other birds:
Hey, do you hear? You have to do it like this, like this! This is real music! If you don't believe me, ask an old sage.
How to find a track
Valentin Berestov
The guys went to visit their grandfather the forester. We went and got lost.
They look, Squirrel is jumping over them. From tree to tree. From tree to tree.
Guys - to her:
Belka, Belka, tell me, Belka, Belka, show me, How to find the path to grandpa’s lodge?
“Very simple,” Belka answers.
Jump from this tree to that one, from that one to the crooked birch tree. From the crooked birch tree you can see a large, large oak tree. The roof is visible from the top of the oak tree. This is the gatehouse. Well, what about you? Jump!
Thank you, Belka! - the guys say. - Only we don’t know how to jump on trees. We'd better ask someone else.
The Hare is jumping. The guys sang their song to him too:
Bunny Bunny, tell me, Bunny, Bunny, show me, How to find the path to Grandfather’s lodge?
To the lodge? - asked the Hare. - There is nothing simpler. At first it will smell like mushrooms. So? Then - hare cabbage. So? Then it smells like a fox hole. So? Skip this smell to the right or left. So? When it is left behind, smell it like this and you will smell the smoke. Jump straight onto it without turning anywhere. This is the forester grandfather setting the samovar.
“Thank you, Bunny,” the guys say. “It’s a pity that our noses are not as sensitive as yours.” I'll have to ask someone else.
They see a snail crawling.
Hey, Snail, tell me, Hey, Snail, show me, How to find the path to grandpa’s lodge?
It’s a long time to tell,” sighed the Snail. - Lu-u-better, I’ll take you there-u-u. Follow me.
Thank you, Snail! - the guys say. - We have no time to crawl. We'd better ask someone else.
A bee sits on a flower.
Guys to her:
Bee, Bee, tell me, Bee, Bee, show me, How to find the path to grandpa’s lodge?
Well, well, says the bee. - I’ll show you... Look where I’m flying. Follow. See my sisters. Where they go, you go too. We bring honey to grandpa's apiary. Well, goodbye! I'm in a big hurry. W-w-w...
And she flew away. The guys didn’t even have time to say thank you to her. They went to where the bees were flying and quickly found the guardhouse. What a joy! And then grandfather treated them to tea with honey.
Honest caterpillar
Valentin Berestov
The caterpillar considered itself very beautiful and did not let a single drop of dew pass without looking at it.
How good am I! - the Caterpillar rejoiced, looking with pleasure at its flat face and arching its furry back to see two golden stripes on it.
It's a pity that no one notices this.
But one day she got lucky. A girl walked through the meadow and picked flowers. The caterpillar climbed onto the most beautiful flower and began to wait.
That's disgusting! It's disgusting to even look at you!
Ah well! - the Caterpillar got angry. “Then I give my honest caterpillar word that no one, ever, anywhere, for anything, under any circumstances, will ever see me again!”
You gave your word - you need to keep it, even if you are a Caterpillar. And the Caterpillar crawled up the tree. From trunk to branch, from branch to branch, from branch to branch, from branch to twig, from twig to leaf.
She took out a silk thread from her abdomen and began to wrap herself around it. She worked for a long time and finally made a cocoon.
Phew, I'm so tired! - the Caterpillar sighed. - I'm completely exhausted.
It was warm and dark in the cocoon, there was nothing more to do, and the Caterpillar fell asleep.
She woke up because her back was itching terribly. Then the Caterpillar began to rub against the walls of the cocoon. She rubbed and rubbed, rubbed right through them and fell out.
But she fell somehow strangely - not down, but up.
And then the Caterpillar saw the same girl in the same meadow.
"Horrible! - thought the Caterpillar. “I may not be beautiful, it’s not my fault, but now everyone will know that I’m also a liar.” I gave an honest assurance that no one would see me, and I didn’t keep it. A shame!" And the Caterpillar fell into the grass.
And the girl saw her and said:
Such a beauty!
So trust people,” grumbled the Caterpillar.
Today they say one thing, and tomorrow they say something completely different.
Just in case, she looked into the dew drop. What's happened? In front of her is an unfamiliar face with a long, very long mustache.
The caterpillar tried to arch its back and saw that large multi-colored wings appeared on its back.
Oh that's it! - she guessed. - A miracle happened to me. The most ordinary miracle: I became a Butterfly!
This happens. And she cheerfully circled over the meadow, because she did not give the butterfly’s honest word that no one would see her.
Magic word
V.A. Oseeva
A little old man with a long gray beard was sitting on a bench and drawing something in the sand with an umbrella.
. “Move over,” Pavlik told him and sat down on the edge.
The old man moved and, looking at the boy’s red, angry face, said:
- Did something happen to you? - Well, okay! “What do you want?” Pavlik looked sideways at him.
“I’ll go to my grandmother. She's just cooking. Will he drive away or not?
Pavlik opened the door to the kitchen. The old woman was removing hot pies from the baking sheet.
The grandson ran up to her, turned her red, wrinkled face with both hands, looked into her eyes and whispered:
- Give me a piece of pie... please.
Grandma straightened up. Magic word it shone in every wrinkle, in the eyes, in the smile.
“I wanted something hot... something hot, my darling!” she said, choosing the best, rosy pie.
Pavlik jumped for joy and kissed her on both cheeks.
"Wizard! Wizard!" - he repeated to himself, remembering the old man.
At dinner, Pavlik sat quietly and listened to his brother’s every word. When his brother said that he would go boating, Pavlik put his hand on his shoulder and quietly asked:
- Take me, please. Everyone at the table immediately fell silent.
The brother raised his eyebrows and grinned.
“Take it,” the sister suddenly said. - What is it worth to you!
- Well, why not take it? - Grandma smiled. - Of course, take it.
“Please,” Pavlik repeated.
The brother laughed loudly, patted the boy on the shoulder, ruffled his hair:
- Oh, you traveler! Okay, get ready!
“It helped! It helped again!”
Pavlik jumped out from the table and ran into the street. But the old man was no longer in the park.
The bench was empty, and only incomprehensible signs drawn by an umbrella remained on the sand.
Badly
V.A. Oseeva
The dog barked furiously, falling on its front paws.
Right in front of her, pressed against the fence, sat a small, disheveled kitten. He opened his mouth wide and meowed pitifully.
Two boys stood nearby and waited to see what would happen.
A woman looked out the window and hurriedly ran out onto the porch. She drove the dog away and angrily shouted to the boys:
Shame on you!
What's a shame? We didn't do anything! - the boys were surprised.
This is bad! - the woman answered angrily.
Which is easier?
V.A. Oseeva
Three boys went into the forest. There are mushrooms, berries, birds in the forest. The boys went on a spree.
We didn’t notice how the day passed. They go home - they are afraid:
It will hit us at home!
So they stopped on the road and thought what was better: to lie or to tell the truth?
“I’ll say,” says the first, “that a wolf attacked me in the forest.”
The father will be afraid and will not scold.
“I’ll say,” says the second, “that I met my grandfather.”
My mother will be happy and will not scold me.
“And I’ll tell the truth,” says the third. “It’s always easier to tell the truth, because it’s the truth and there’s no need to invent anything.”
So they all went home.
As soon as the first boy told his father about the wolf, look, the forest guard is coming.
“No,” he says, “there are wolves in these places.” The father got angry. For the first guilt I was angry, and for the lie - twice as angry.
The second boy told about his grandfather. And the grandfather is right there - coming to visit. Mother found out the truth. For the first guilt I was angry, but for the lie I was twice as angry.
And the third boy, as soon as he arrived, immediately confessed to everything. His aunt grumbled at him and forgave him.
good
V.A. Oseeva
Yurik woke up in the morning. I looked out the window. The sun is shining. It's a good day. And the boy wanted to do something good himself.
So he sits and thinks: “What if my little sister was drowning, and I would save her!”
And my sister is right here:
Take a walk with me, Yura!
Go away, don't stop me from thinking! My little sister was offended and walked away.
And Yura thinks: “If only wolves attacked the nanny, and I would shoot them!”
And the nanny is right there:
Put away the dishes, Yurochka.
Clean it yourself - I have no time! The nanny shook her head.
And Yura thinks again: “If only Trezorka fell into the well, and I would pull him out!”
And Trezorka is right there. His tail wags: “Give me a drink, Yura!”
Go away! Don't bother thinking! Trezorka closed his mouth and climbed into the bushes.
And Yura went to his mother:
What good thing could I do? Mom stroked Yura’s head:
Take a walk with your sister, help the nanny put away the dishes, give Trezor some water.
Sons
V.A. Oseeva
Two women were taking water from a well.
A third approached them. And the old man sat down on a pebble to rest.
Here's what one woman says to another:
My son is dexterous and strong, no one can handle him.
And the third is silent. “Why don’t you tell me about your son?” her neighbors ask.
What can I say? - says the woman. “There’s nothing special about him.”
So the women collected full buckets and left. And the old man is behind them.
Women walk and stop. My hands hurt, the water splashes, my back hurts. Suddenly three boys run out towards us.
One of them somersaults over his head, walks like a cartwheel, and the women admire him.
He sings another song, sings like a nightingale - the women listen to him.
And the third ran up to his mother, took the heavy buckets from her and dragged them.
The women ask the old man:
Well? What are our sons like?
Where are they? - the old man answers. “I only see one son!”
blue leaves
V.A. Oseeva
Katya had two green pencils. And Lena has none. So Lena asks Katya: 
Give me a green pencil.
And Katya says:
I'll ask my mom.
The next day both girls come to school.
Lena asks:
Did your mom allow it?
And Katya sighed and said:
Mom allowed it, but I didn’t ask my brother.
Well, ask your brother again,” says Lena.
Katya arrives the next day.
Well, did your brother allow it? - Lena asks.
My brother allowed me, but I'm afraid you'll break your pencil.
“I’m careful,” says Lena.
Look, says Katya, don’t fix it, don’t press hard, don’t put it in your mouth. Don't draw too much.
“I just need to draw leaves on the trees and green grass,” says Lena.
“That’s a lot,” says Katya, and her eyebrows frown. And she made a dissatisfied face. Lena looked at her and walked away. I didn't take a pencil. Katya was surprised and ran after her:
Well, what about you? Take it! “No need,” Lena answers.
During the lesson, the teacher asks: “Why, Lenochka, are the leaves on your trees blue?”
There is no green pencil.
Why didn't you take it from your girlfriend?
Lena is silent.
And Katya blushed like a lobster and said:
I gave it to her, but she doesn’t take it.
The teacher looked at both:
You have to give so that you can take.
On the rink
V.A. Oseeva
The day was sunny. The ice sparkled. There were few people at the skating rink.
The little girl, with her arms outstretched comically, rode from bench to bench.
Two schoolchildren were tying up their skates and looking at Vitya.
Vitya performed different tricks - sometimes he rode on one leg, sometimes he spun around like a top.
Well done! - one of the boys shouted to him.
Vitya rushed around the circle like an arrow, made a dashing turn and ran into the girl.
The girl fell.
Vitya was scared.
“I accidentally...” he said, brushing snow off her fur coat.
Did you hurt yourself?
The girl smiled:
Knee...
Laughter came from behind. “They’re laughing at me!” thought Vitya and turned away from the girl with annoyance.
What a surprise - a knee! What a crybaby!” he shouted, driving past the schoolchildren.
Come to us! - they called. Vitya approached them. Holding hands, all three merrily slid across the ice.
And the girl sat on the bench, rubbed her bruised knee and cried.
