The feeling that you are going to die soon. This is incredible and scary! An experienced doctor spoke about signs that are invisible at first glance that indicate that a person will die soon

Question for a psychologist:

Hello. My name is Svetlana, I'm 32 years old. I have 2 wonderful children, a husband, a job, but for 4 months in a row I have been haunted by anxiety and fear for my life. It all started when a good friend of mine died at the age of 39. She died suddenly at work. Whether the blood clot came off, or something was wrong with the heart, I don’t fully know. This incident is so deeply ingrained in my head that I can’t think about anything. It all started with panic attack and then there is constant anxiety, fear, tears, thoughts that the same thing could happen to me, there are terrible pictures in my head, I look at the children and become hysterical. I’ve already seen all the doctors and they said I’m healthy. And then in addition I read that healthy people the heart may stop and this further aggravates the situation. I come to work thinking, what if I suddenly feel bad like her and everyone else, and no one will help me. I'm afraid to sleep falsely. I listen to my heart, where and what is hurting me, in general it’s some kind of nightmare. I'm tired of living like this. I constantly walk and think that what if I don’t live to see the new year, for example, I had the same thoughts before September 1, when my son entered 1st grade. I’m very tired, please tell me what’s wrong with me and how to treat it??? Or maybe this is some kind of premonition? I’m very tired, I’ve lost 10 kilograms, I walk like a dystrophic person, skinny. There are days when I just don't get out of bed and cry. The worst thing is when I'm home alone. I can’t even describe this horror in words. Sometimes I have to leave for work an hour earlier, just so as not to be alone at home. I immediately imagine that something will happen to me and then the children will find me. It's just a nightmare. Please help me, what’s wrong with me and what should I do about it?

Psychologist Olga Aleksandrovna Lysenkova answers the question.

Hello Svetlana!

Life cannot be safe. Life is insecurity. Because life is a stream of changes that happen every second. We cannot know what will happen to us tomorrow or in the next moment. But that’s why life is beautiful, because it is a mystery that needs to be lived. Fear occurs when you worry about a future that doesn't exist yet. You need to keep coming back to real reality and live by the facts. You have a husband, two children who are this moment alive and well, just like you. It is a fact. This is something to be happy about, not sad about. And you start thinking that something bad might happen. And thus you move away from the real reality into an illusory, invented one. This is how fear arises. Because our mind does not like everything unknown.

In this illusory reality, you lose touch with your husband, children and yourself. Therefore, you lose your balance and health. Every moment, return back to the present reality, look only at the facts.

And further. Fear appears when love leaves. Where there is love, there is no fear. Look into your heart and find love for your husband and children and for yourself. This is the main remedy for fear. For your children to be happy, their mother needs to be happy. Only in actual reality can you become loving and happy.

I’ve been in a relationship for 3 years, we live in a rented apartment (war problems), she’s local with her own apartment, but it’s a one-room apartment (mom and adult daughter), see me in a day, rental apartment mine (I pay for everything, including food), she’s basically good, she cooks and takes care of me, but she doesn’t know how to quarrel at all; when we quarrel, I always have to go to a meeting, because she immediately tells me what, should she leave completely? That is, she doesn’t care whether we continue to be together or not, although she seems to love me, I can’t understand, but this time it’s completely out of the ordinary, she says, we’ll be together when you have your own in this city apartment, knowing that I am a displaced person is a blow below the belt, but I say it’s a joke, he says no
The next day, as if nothing had happened, hello, dear, and I said, I’ll answer when I buy an apartment, wait!
I understand that it’s stupid, but she doesn’t even think about apologizing, but I, too, should have some kind of pride, although I love her, I don’t know what to do, I’m confused

First recommendation from a psychologist online

27-02-2020 13:19:27

Hello.
I really sympathize with you as a migrant. It is really very difficult to change your established way of life. It’s good if you moved with someone and you can count on help. What are your surroundings like now, besides this woman?
Returning to the situation, did you ask why she said that? How do you see your future together? And how do you plan your life further (even if you don’t take into account that you are in a relationship).
Do you have a backup option in case you can’t pay for rented housing?

Hello! I really need your help, but I have no thoughts of suicide. The fact is that for the second month now I have been constantly thinking that I will die very soon. Don't get me wrong: I don't want this, I haven't done even a quarter of what I would like to do in life...

How can I get rid of these thoughts? Where are they from? After all, thought is material - if I don’t get rid of it, sooner or later it will come. What to do?
Support the site:

John, age: 21/05/24/2010

Responses:

Maybe go to church?
light a candle?
chat with dad?

Umka Efimovna, age: 19/05/25/2010

Or maybe stop being afraid!
Well, I will die and die when necessary. You have to try to be a little fatalistic.
And on the other hand. why did you decide that this would happen soon? You are a young man, you are not sick with anything special. Maybe you do extreme sports or drink heavily?

This is where these thoughts come from... Maybe you are faced with some problem that you are unable to solve? And all the choices seem bad to you. You continue to struggle, but your subconscious is trying to convey to you that you are going down the wrong road...

Yulishcha, age: 35 / 05/25/2010

Hello John! Intrusive thoughts Absolutely everyone has it in one form or another, there is no need to be too afraid of it, it is difficult to name the reasons in your case, since there is little information, it could be anything, stress at work or school, some family problems, etc. , so my nerves were a little shaken. It is best to go to a psychologist and work out the problem with him. Well, regarding the materiality of thoughts, your statement is not entirely true. It is not the thought itself that materializes, but your FAITH in it; if you believe in something, then consciously and subconsciously you begin to strive for its implementation.

V, age: 28/05/25/2010

Nothing will materialize, calm down)

Lekha, age: 20 / 05/26/2010

Sooner or later, it will happen to every person, this death. You only have an obsession, in fact, you invented everything yourself and inspired it, if you INVENTED EVERYTHING, it does not mean that IT WILL HAPPEN, you understand? :) so why worry then ? And what’s stopping you from getting it into your head that “I’ll succeed, I’ll be able to do everything, and I’ll live a long and happy life?”
Good luck to you!)

Me, age: many / 05/26/2010

Children's thoughts, most likely. You probably didn’t think of them as a child, so they appeared - somewhat belatedly.
But it happens that such thoughts are sent by demons: at first they frighten you with death, and then they begin to push you towards it.
I know two ways to get rid of these thoughts. The first is to simply learn to laugh at yourself for such “senile thoughts,” and the second is to pray. The second one, of course, helps more. But the first one doesn’t hurt either! :)

Agnia Lvovna, age: 70 / 05/27/2010

The main thing is that you shouldn’t write about it on the Internet.
few people will understand. I know this feeling
incredible anxiety for your life. Often it
occurs against the background of vegetative-vascular dystonia, and
that, in turn, being a psycho-disease
somatic, caused by stress or
unfavorable living conditions, strong
injuries (but less often).
I advise you to consult a psychiatrist (not to be confused with
psychologist), he will prescribe a regimen and treatment for you!
I sincerely wish you to fight this
trouble. Health and good luck.

Detritus, age: 18/03/27/2013

Hello, I’m asking for a petition, maybe this will seem stupid to you, but for some reason I noticed a long time ago that something was wrong with me, it seems to me that I’m going to die soon or somehow live one day at a time, I’m in a hurry! I don’t understand what’s wrong with me!! can you help me with something?

Zulfiya, age: 28/10/27/2013

Same problem! if you are between 13 and 16, then this is a transitional age, strong emotional outbursts and mood changes, but the most important thing is to remember that you can help yourself and overcome bad thoughts.I personally got rid of it like this. Every morning I woke up with a smile, even if I felt bad in my soul, I was still happy, kissed people close to me, said that I love them, tried to interrupt bad thoughts with good ones, looked for an incentive to strive for, and the most important thing before going to bed was to tell myself that I am the master of my body and I will decide what I will think about and say once that the next day will be better than the outgoing one!

Alexey, age: 15 / 01/10/2015

The sudden thought that you will die soon can paint the world black. Put a stamp of doom and meaninglessness on all actions. It’s good if it came and, without stopping, disappeared from my head, giving way to everyday worries and aspirations. If this does not happen and the person lives under the pressure of expecting death for a long time, you need to seek help from specialists without delaying time and without poisoning the lives of yourself or your loved ones.

Why does a person feel like he is going to die soon?

They say that a person has a presentiment of his death. A very controversial statement. No one has yet deduced the exact formula of sensations by which it can be predicted.

Troubles, separation from a loved one, bereavement and illnesses that are difficult to treat can give rise to a false premonition of an imminent death. Lack of appetite, sleep disturbances, thoughts about your imminent death - all these are signs depressive state. Since depression can turn into a formidable disease, it is also required from a specialist.

An obsessive premonition of imminent death, not confirmed either by a medical diagnosis or by circumstances (shells and bullets are not exploding around) is a sign of mental illness. Like all diseases, this disease is best treated with early stage and passes without a trace.

First of all, it is important to increase your self-esteem. Praise and encourage yourself for everything, even the smallest victories and very tiny successes. Accept compliments and praise from others with gratitude, without embarrassment or embarrassment.

Smile, even if you really don’t want to. Through force and unwillingness to see anyone. Along with your clothes, put a smile on your face in the morning. Very soon she will become sincere and natural.

Under no circumstances should you be left alone. Look for a company of like-minded people, visit relatives and friends. Spend a lot of time with people.

Remember a forgotten hobby and pull out unfinished work from the bins. The easiest way to get rid of the blues that cause thoughts of death is if you don’t give yourself time for empty, joyless thoughts.

It is not for nothing that death is defined as a sacrament. This is nature's best-kept secret. If the birth of a person is easy to predict in advance, then death never reveals the date of its arrival to anyone. Neither the poor man nor the oligarch can know his hour of death.

Even if doctors have given terrible diagnosis and determined a little time for the remaining life. Miracles do not happen as rarely as we think. Hopeless patients recover and live, enjoying every day, long years.

This is the greatest gift from above - not knowing until the last moment that the end is near. Live, hoping and believing in the best, until your last second. Don't wonder about

Alexandria88

Hello, I am constantly visited by thoughts of death and the fact that I am incurably ill. I'm very afraid of this. And I'm only 27 years old. There is a 3 year old child. I'm afraid to leave him without a mother. It’s always in my head how my parents will live without me. How they will worry if something happens to me. The fact is that in September 2018, my good friend died in an accident. I guess this sparked my thoughts.
I'll start telling my thoughts from the very beginning. During pregnancy, I was diagnosed with arterial hypertension. The pressure was increased. After giving birth, the doctor said that the diagnosis would not go away and that we needed to monitor it. All this never gave me any discomfort. But at the end of October and beginning of November I began to feel unwell. Terrible weakness, fatigue. I came home from work and fell off my feet. Lost appetite. There was some kind of tingling throughout the body. Like mini electric shocks or a needle, it will prick here, and then it will prick here. It started very severe loss hair, which continues to this day. Half of my hair fell out for sure. I began to have thoughts that I might have a stroke, that I might have cancer and a heart attack. In general, everything is only the worst. One evening I came home from work and felt weak in my stomach. right side of the whole body. It seemed to me that I was having a stroke. I was panicked and dizzy. My heart was beating at a breakneck speed. After taking a blood pressure pill, I went to rest. In the morning I woke up and went to work. I lived with approximately these thoughts until the end of November. At the end of November, I woke up in the middle of the night and felt severe nausea. (Perhaps it was due to the fact that I had had a big dinner and hadn’t eaten all day before) I went to the toilet. Sitting on the toilet, I began to feel tingling sensations in my body again. And again the heart beat at a breakneck speed. I thought I was going to have a stroke. I calmed myself down, drank water, lay down in bed and tossed and turned for a long time and could not sleep. In general, sleep is not very good either. When I woke up in the morning, I firmly decided to go to a therapist to find out what was happening to me. As a result, the cardiogram is good, the heart is fine. Blood sugar is normal. The blood pressure returned to normal after taking the pills. According to endocrinology, everything is also normal. Thyroid is fine. I did an ultrasound. I donated blood for hormones and they were also normal. Blood and urine tests are also all normal. But the doctor said that I have problems with the blood vessels of the brain. The thing is that I have been bothered by tinnitus for a very long time. It is because of this noise that I invent a lot of illnesses for myself. Having calmed down a little, I started taking the pills that she prescribed for me. And she also prescribed a course of injections. But I didn’t do them and didn’t take the pills completely. They cannot be combined with alcohol. But ahead New Year. After taking some of the pills, I put the whole thing off for the post-New Year holidays. Having gone on vacation since December 17, I completely relaxed and started drinking alcohol almost every evening. Actually, before this, from October after the death of a friend, the same thing happened. Absolutely every day after work I drank 1.5 - 2 liters of beer. I don't drink any other alcohol. But noticing that after drinking beer, my already damaged hair began to fall out even more, I switched to champagne wine and so on. I stopped drinking while taking the pills. It was somewhere around 3 weeks. Started again on December 14th. Everything was fine until December 30th. But on December 30, the same thoughts began to come to me again. Only now, having made sure that everything was fine with my heart and that I could not have a heart attack or stroke, did I decide that I had oncology. I have a nasty mole on my leg. And the thing is that everything around her seems to be aching. Not the mole itself, but around it. Burning tingling sensation. The mole itself does not hurt. And this mole now haunts me. It already seems that the mole itself is aching, that it is growing and that the skin around it is darkening and hair is not growing. I want to go and show her to the oncologist, but I’m very afraid. Should I touch her? Perhaps I wouldn’t be bothered by thoughts of illness if it weren’t for the tinnitus and my baldness. I made an appointment with a neurologist for a consultation. But I decided to consult with you and speak out. I don't know what's happening to me. But I was usually a very sociable person. And now I don’t even want to see anyone. I am constantly tormented by the thought that I have cancer. That the doctor did not look at my blood test carefully. What can even general analysis blood will not show abnormalities. I am afraid and this fear prevents me from living a normal life. I don't want to do anything, cook or clean anything. Although I have Small child. I am now imbued with mad love for him because it seems to me that I will soon leave him. What happened with me??? Stress? Now I have eliminated alcohol and again started taking the pills that the doctor prescribed and I am going to go for injections. I'd really like to read what you think about this. Thank you!

I'm sorry you have to go through all this.

Judging by your story, you have pronounced psychosomatic symptoms.
But first you should always go to the clinic to rule out somatic problems. So it's very good that you did this:

Only now, having made sure that everything was fine with my heart and that I could not have a heart attack or stroke, did I decide that I had oncology.

Therefore, it is important to deal with your anxiety. And for this you need to go to psychotherapy. Do you have this opportunity?

Alexandria88

Thanks for the answer. Therapeutic diet the doctor did not prescribe it. What do psychosomatic symptoms mean? Where should I go for psychotherapy?

I made an appointment with a neurologist regarding blood vessels.

Psychosomatic symptoms are symptoms not caused by physiological reasons, but psychological. Hypertension, for example, can be a symptom of heart disease, or it can be a reaction to severe stress. Therefore, it is recommended to first undergo an examination to find out if there are any physical disorders (diseases). If they are not detected, we conclude that the cause lies NOT in the area of ​​organic disorders (bodily diseases), but in the area psychological problems. And then psychotherapy is needed.

Go to psychotherapy - find yourself a psychologist or psychotherapist who works with such problems. There are government centers for psychological assistance where you can get a certain number of hours of therapy for free. Or you can choose a private practitioner at a price that suits you, including on our website in the section.

And I recommend that you ask your doctors what regimen or diet you should follow during arterial hypertension so as not to aggravate the problem. If your blood pressure is left unchecked, it can cause a number of additional problems over the years.

Alexandria88, hello.
How are you doing, how are you feeling?
Do you still have any questions regarding this topic or can we close it?

Alexandria88, hello.
I close this topic, because you no longer answer in it.
If you need advice again, you can open a new topic on the forum.
Good luck to you!