What's a guy's first rule when he wants to meet a girl? That's right, make a favorable impression on her. What does he do if he fails? He does this more persistently or leaves her alone.
But what should a guy do if he is disabled, walks poorly, or, God forbid, is in a wheelchair.
Such people usually get disappointed and give up all attempts to meet a girl before they even start. I will say right away that they are doing this in vain. I'll tell you my example. I am a disabled person of the 2nd group, left-hand side I am half paralyzed, my left arm is practically not working. BUT. I have a completely healthy wife who is pregnant from me. I have a favorite job. My life is almost successful. Almost because, like most people, they don’t have enough money, but it’s a gain.
I would like to tell you, dear male half, how a guy with physical disabilities can meet a normal, healthy girl, and at least kiss. But this is the bare minimum, because in my understanding, getting a phone number is not an achievement.
Rule one - NEVER complain to a girl that I’m so poor and unhappy, have pity on me because I’m disabled. You will never be able to find a normal girl. Even if she gives her number, when you call her, she will always be busy. All this is because you made a bad impression on her. Instead, you can approach the girl and ask, for example, what time it is. When she looks at her watch or phone, you can, as if by chance, notice how beautiful they are (the same watch or phone).
By doing this you will give her a compliment that she is so thrifty. If the phone is very shabby, then you don’t need to say this, because she may think that you are out of your mind (I don’t know where this came from, but for some reason many people think this way about disabled people). Instead, you can notice how stylishly she dresses, after all, what a cool mole she has on her cheek, which suits her very well. If there is no reaction, then you can highlight some other part of her body or wardrobe with special beauty or style. DO NOT TOUCH your butt and breasts, it will, of course, please her, but she will think the same thing as the girl with the battered phone.
I repeat once again - DO NOT PRESSURE ON PITY. You can use your position (as I do) to achieve your goal.
Example: I’m walking down the street, and an absolutely amazing girl is sitting on a bench. I pull out a cigarette, go up to her and ask if I can sit down. THERE WAS NEVER A REFUSAL (well, whoever refuses a disabled person, suddenly he feels bad). And then I ask if cigarette smoke bothers her. Basically it doesn’t interfere (I only had this happen once when it did interfere). Next comes the question whether the girl smokes. If so, what kind of cigarettes, and the conversation begins. If not, then the question follows, have you ever tried it at all, and then the conversation begins.
There is only one factor that stops people with disabilities from dating the girl they like, and that is fear. Fear of the unknown. - What if he sends me away, and what should I do? Then life is lost, there is no point in living, I’m going to shoot myself. This is the wrong attitude. The light did not converge on her like a wedge, the world is big.
There is also an opinion that disabled people should look for a match in clubs for the disabled. WHAT THE FUCK?!!! Why then don’t healthy people go to meet people in clubs for healthy people, but meet them right on the street? Why are we disabled people worse?
Before writing this material, I scoured the Internet for a long time in search of at least some information, but I didn’t find what I was looking for, but only the banal thing - don’t be upset, you’re just like everyone else, and a truck with cookies will overturn on your street .
IT IS NOT TRUE. Without effort, you won't achieve anything. You are not like everyone else, you are disabled, and usually this is a death sentence. Of course, medicine now cures many things, but treatment requires money, and not everyone has it.
I have the right to say so, and I will subscribe to every word written above, because this is all from personal experience.
If you have found a girl, then you should not blow off specks of dust from her. There is a proverb - the more we love a woman, the less she likes us. This is the pure truth, and it works in life (again, personal bitter experience).
Met a girl? Well, great, well done. Now we need to keep her from running away. And how to do it? you ask. DO NOT blow dust off it. Shows the trick that she doesn’t like this, that, etc.? Never mind, don’t even like it. Well of course when your mom calls her last words then you should take this into your head and shut your mother’s mouth, because this is your life.
Next you need to entertain the girl. Cinema, cafes, clubs, etc. No money? No problem. Get together with a group of people and go outdoors. Winter is on the street? No problem. Gather company at your home. Don't you like company? Not only are you disabled, but you are also a boring disabled person. Few girls stay like this. CHANGE. Stop whining that oh I can’t, oh, this hurts, this hurts, my ass rustles. Why the hell did you make her look so sick? She will find someone better who doesn't whine.
Make decisions together. Rest, work, offer your options, she offers hers, any relationship for all people is built on this, and come to a common decision.
So don’t despair, but put your feet in your hands or your hands in your feet and go ahead with the women. Good luck and patience everyone.
author: Andrey Ganzyuk, for the site
People with disabilities They strive to establish relationships with people like themselves. No matter how cruel it may sound, people with disabilities are often discriminated against by healthy society. When one of the young people getting married is disabled, this, unfortunately, often causes confusion in society.
Prejudice
Both among disabled people and among the healthy population, there is an opinion that disabled people should create families only with disabled people. This is not stated in any state laws; society itself sets these limits, comparing disabled people with subhumans. The question of how to meet such people is extremely relevant in our time. After all, due to physical limitations, not all benefits are available to people with disabilities. modern society.
Help centers
Of course, disabled people can find a partner in community centers for the disabled, through mutual friends, in any public place. But this is all a matter of chance, which you can wait for years without getting.
According to statistics, disabled women are more actively looking for a partner, and disabled men claim that they can live without outside help, but most likely this is just embarrassment or bravado.
Internet
The question of how to meet a disabled person is greatly simplified social media. There are special dating services for people with physical disabilities. There are five of these in Russia, three of which are international. The first service that helped people with disabilities get to know each other opened in 2010 in Yekaterinburg. Anyone can contact such a service by filling out a form with a photo and writing short story About Me. After this, the person’s data will be posted on the Internet on special sites.
There is no need to hide your disability; you need to clarify this right away. There will be people who will be interested in this profile. Those who are not interested in this acquaintance will pass by. After all, there are many families where one or both spouses are disabled.
You can use any dating site in the same way. All people are different, but everyone wants to find family happiness, regardless of nationality, education or health.
A physical disability is not a death sentence or a reason to give up on your personal life. A disabled man has his own advantages and highlights; in some ways, if not in many ways, he is able to get ahead of a healthy man in the matter of winning women’s hearts. Amurochka will tell you secrets on how a disabled man can find a girl:
- The very first thing to do is to stop focusing on your problem and start looking at life positively. If a disabled person himself perceives himself as partially incompetent, then others, including girls, will treat him that way.
- You need to start earning money, if possible, in order to at least meet your monthly needs. Fortunately, now there are a lot of opportunities for working from home thanks to the Internet and various companies that do not want to spend money on renting an office and hiring employees - homeworkers. You should pay attention to the professions of web designer, programmer, accountant, copywriter, editor/website administrator. They allow you to have a good income and, most importantly, if you really want to, you can learn them yourself and work as an individual entrepreneur.
- Try to go out in a group or invite friends over. Behave positively, laugh more, smile and make witty jokes. An open, sincere smile is the first “weapon” for a disabled man to find a girl. Second and third - a relaxed manner of communication and the ability to look into the eyes of your interlocutor at the right moment - this is catchy.
- In appearance, neatness and cleanliness are important. Slight stubble or a small beard is welcome, giving a more masculine appearance (as with all ordinary-looking men).
Before meeting girls, it is important for a disabled guy to raise his self-esteem, know his strengths and be able to “present” himself. Most smart and insightful girls value the emotions, sense of humor and intelligence of the interlocutor, not appearance.
Where can a disabled man find a girlfriend?
You can search anywhere, the main thing is not to be afraid to meet people, look them in the eyes, and be able to flirt at least a little. Places for dating are varied; you can meet each other in any place where all ordinary people find love. But a disabled guy initially has a small trump card in his hands, compared to healthy ones: if he approaches in a store, at an exhibition, on the street beautiful girl and asks her about something, her conscience will not allow her to answer too quickly and monosyllabically or completely ignore the questioner, saying: “I don’t know,” “I’m not local.” Even if she realizes that she doesn’t know what you’re asking, she’ll probably try to help, even if it’s out of politeness at first. And there, word by word, you need to use all your charm, charm, to make an impression to continue the acquaintance. Ask to accompany you, show the way and don’t get hung up, if you don’t manage to hook a lady a couple of times, try!
Where can a disabled person find a girl:
- On dating sites. But sometimes it's not too much good way not only for a disabled person, but also for healthy people, because you can spend a lot of time communicating, but when you see a person in person you will be disappointed.
- Through mutual friends.
- You may find yourself neighbors in the building, building, or neighborhood.
- In support groups for people with similar physical characteristics.
- At an exhibition, opening day, in a museum, at a national party, in a theater, opera and any other cultural event.
- In conversational or business English courses. Pay attention to this point: students, young girls who have already established themselves in the profession, who want to travel and see the world, who are intellectually developed and active, often enroll in such courses. If you are not sure that active girls need a disabled person as a couple, then carefully re-read the first paragraph of the article and pay attention to the third about starting a family.
- In the library, in the hospital, in the sanatorium.
- IN sports section: yoga, Pilates, if possible.
- Clubs.
- Wedding of mutual friends.
Is it possible for a disabled person to start a family?
Don't consider yourself inferior. There is nothing that you are not able to give to your wife, unlike a healthy man, the main thing is love, care and mutual understanding. Think how much beautiful women live and suffer in marriages with “mentally disabled”: drug addicts, alcoholics, aggressive egoists, stingy egocentrics, lazy slobs and free-handed tyrants. At the same time, women hold on to such husbands, endure everything and take on both work and household responsibilities, just to be married to a “real man.” Therefore, a loving and understanding disabled guy is quite capable of winning a girl; he just needs to stand out from his rivals, know and skillfully use his advantages.
How can a disabled person find a girl to start a family: find out your advantages:
- A disabled guy will not spend a lot of time with unknown friends drinking, or return home late or in the morning.
- If a child appears in the family of a disabled person, such a guy will not stay late at work so as not to listen to the children’s screams, but most likely, he will happily help his wife and go for a walk with the baby or sit at home with him and play. “Real men” often do not appreciate the appearance of a baby and go to great lengths, not paying attention to their wife, selfishly experiencing their internal crisis due to the need to share the wife’s attention with a new little man.
- A disabled guy will most likely be so happy about the birth of a child that he will not demand sex from his wife as soon as she is discharged from the maternity hospital. The first months of a baby's life are usually the most stressful, so women's libido is not at its best. top level. A husband with limited physical capabilities is more likely to adapt to the role of father of the family and will easily survive a temporary crisis in sexual terms, which cannot be said about full-fledged husband. Physically healthy husbands often begin to cheat on their wives during pregnancy.
- A guy with limited physical capabilities will not hide his sexual shortcomings, including in the matter of conceiving a child. It is important to openly discuss this issue with the bride and approach the problem together. The lack of thrill in sex can be easily compensated for by purchases from a sex shop, and poor sperm quality will not be an obstacle to the IVF procedure. The main thing for a disabled person to understand is that many beautiful women married to physically healthy husbands have been diagnosed with infertility for years unknown etiology"and are treated by taking antidepressants and various kinds of drugs, while the real source of infertility is in a "real man" who is embarrassed to undergo examination. Therefore, a disabled guy, having consciously undergone all examinations for infections, having taken a spermogram and giving consent to IVF, will help his It’s faster for a girl to conceive a child and live a full life family life. In this regard, a disabled person has nothing to fear or be ashamed of, which cannot be said about healthy guys, because of whose infertility and indecision their wives suffer for years and cannot get pregnant.
There is an opinion that a woman, having gotten involved with a disabled person, will carry everything on herself for the rest of her life. At the same time, most supporters of this position do not think about how many women carry “everything on themselves”, being the wives of healthy and strong lazy people. And a disabled guy can easily sit with the baby while his wife goes to the store, work at home and devote more time to his family, and let her go for a walk with her friends. Ordinary healthy guys have no time to show concern for their wife in this way; they need to solve their “manly affairs”.
Oh, guys, aren’t you afraid to ask me such questions? I love and respect the truth))
It’s not difficult to find love - you can fall in love in a second. You just need to meet your person - with whom you will fall in love. And for such a meeting you need to leave the house at least sometimes - most disabled people have an acute problem with this.
No, of course it happens the other way around. A friend of our family still jokes that he found his wife on the stove: she didn’t go out for walks and was completely afraid of guys. And the girl had a brother. So, when friends came to her brother’s house in the village, she climbed onto the stove and stayed there until they left. And this friend of ours found himself a wife on the same stove - they have been married for 15 years, they have children.
And now the truth is the uterus, about which little is spoken and written:
Finding love for a disabled person is not difficult - nowadays there are plenty of beautiful guys and girls at any age. It’s not difficult to fall in love with a disabled person - you can’t tell your heart, and a disabled person is not always an overweight, not handsome person who can’t do anything at all.
I personally know many couples where disabled people with pathologies of varying complexity have created happy families with physically healthy halves; wheelchair users too. The problem is different:
Admit to yourself honestly that when you are looking for love, you want the continuation and development of this love in a relationship - family, children, etc. Maybe not everyone wants it, of course, but the majority do. And for this you need, at a minimum, to get to know your significant other’s relatives....
But this is where the unpleasant awaits many: the more complex your illness, the more it manifests itself and is noticeable physically - this, unfortunately, is an indicator that you may be poorly received by the family of your loved one. Or not accept it at all, under the formulation: “You need to choose healthy people for your family.” And then, depending on your luck, your soul mate will choose you or his family.
Just don't ask me how I know this - I'm 24 years old. I had my first relationship at age 13; The latter ended recently. I won’t comment further on this, but I know what I’m writing about.
If you want to try it, look for it. But it hurts too much later. Let them look for you better (like on a stove). Although, my past relationships were like this - he got to know each other. But, after difficult 4 years and 10 months, we broke up completely. Now I no longer want love and relationships. Although, I am already 24 years old.
Of course, there is also the option of dating on the Internet - it’s fashionable now. But this is a matter of taste. Any online acquaintance does not guarantee that after a real date everything will suit everyone. Even if I tell you about everything before goodbye. Be careful not to overdo it with positivity, so that your significant other doesn’t run away as soon as he sees you - Photoshop doesn’t really help)
Well, forgive me for the rude article - I understand that reading it is unpleasant. But it's true, no matter how it is. But there are always exceptions to all standards.
Although, I read a lot of profiles for dating in contact from disabled people (and they came to me): Guys and girls with 1st group of disability (the most severe is considered to be lifelong most often) are looking for a soul mate with at least 2nd group (the one that is easier) - this in order for the other half to have better health and everything that a disabled person of group 1 cannot do, the other half would do for him.
This is true, this is normal and everyone understands it.
But this same example explains the negative attitude of relatives of a person without disabilities towards his significant other with disabilities.
Anyone, regardless of whether they have limitations physical capabilities or not, strives to be loved and to love himself. Healthy people have many opportunities to meet the opposite sex. At the same time, citizens with limited mobility may not even leave home for a long time. In this case, the Internet is an assistant for people with disabilities to meet the opposite sex. Now on the “global web” there are many sites that help you find your soulmate.
What opportunities does the Internet provide for people with disabilities?
There are hundreds of forums on the Internet designed for communication between people affected by a specific pathology. You can exchange here useful information(links or articles about specific studies).
In addition, the Internet provides other opportunities:
- Getting an education. Today in many educational institutions practiced distance learning. At the same time, the class schedule is very flexible, and you can complete the assignments not only at home, but also in rehabilitation center or hospital.
- The Internet is a source of information.
- Using the World Wide Web you can find home work. Labor activity will help to realize the potential inherent in a person, as well as to feel his usefulness.
- Find your soulmate. There is an opportunity to visit dating sites, read the latest advertisements, and chat with people of interest. Most of these sites are free.
Dating sites for disabled people
A person with a disability needs support much more than a person without physical limitations. At the same time, assistance is necessary not only from close people. A loved one is a more steadfast support; he can provide help at any time.
But finding true love for a disabled person is quite difficult. For a serious acquaintance with a person with disabilities, patience and endurance are required.
Even for a disabled guy, finding a soul mate is quite difficult. Often girls turn away from him because of the existing problem.
At the same time, it is much more difficult for a young woman (especially a girl who is not wise in life experience) with a disability to find a partner.
It’s not for nothing that on sites, even those aimed only at serious relationships (for example, such as “Door to the World”), the number of advertisements from guys and men wanting to meet each other significantly exceeds the same number of women.
Girls simply don’t believe in the possibility of finding their other half.
They believe that many men are ready to communicate, especially when there is free time, but they do not dare to have a serious relationship with a disabled girl. However, many sites try to refute this female confidence.
There are dating agencies (marriage agencies) to which not only men provide their data; profiles of disabled women are also available in sufficient quantities. You can also meet people through psychological rehabilitation courses that take place after receiving a serious injury, or by visiting hobby clubs. There are cases when a woman without legs found her true love at the next medical examination, having met a man who was disabled in group 2 since childhood. Their relationship continued until marriage and cohabitation were registered. But it should be noted that such cases are rare.
Most disabled people trying to find a girl or guy try to do it on the Internet. There are many sites where you can do this for free. On these sites you need to fill out an application or take a survey.
Among the platforms where people with disabilities can find their soulmate are:
- "Door to the world." This site is intended for disabled people. Here you can get legal assistance, chat or meet online. There is a lot of information useful for people with disabilities.
- On the Odnoklassniki website there is a project called “No Disabled People!” Here you can make acquaintances or find a partner from almost anywhere in the world.
- The “Dislife” portal, if you have registered, gives you the opportunity not only to meet and receive advice or communication with a person of interest, but also to find a job, read news or pressing and instructive stories from the life of disabled people.
- You can meet foreigners on the website https://alldisabled.org/.
- To meet someone on the site “Lovely Ones Nearby”, you need to set the search parameters.
- You can also meet your love on the VKontakte website. There is a group for communication between people who have physical limitations.
In Moscow there are more opportunities for people with disabilities to meet. But not only in the capital they do this. There are regional sites where you can meet your soulmate, for example, in Slavgorod (this is Altai region, SiteLove website https://znakomstva-sitelove.ru/asearch.php?towns=3200). Every new user is welcomed here.
