Problems and failures in life are inevitable. There are several things to remember in the most difficult moments - they will help you survive the trouble. When it seems like everything is going wrong, repeat this to yourself so as not to give up and become depressed.
This too shall pass
Sometimes life's troubles drag on for so long that they seem to last forever. It doesn’t matter what exactly your problem is - with work, with family, or just accumulated stress, in fact, any of these situations cannot affect you throughout your life. So just remind yourself that even the worst moment won't last forever.
Something turns out the way it should be
When everything falls apart, it's hard to find the positives and the parts that work out normally. It's easy to forget about any joy and focus only on the most negative. Remind yourself that some things are just fine. Consciously look for the positive in life, even if you can only find it in the little things.
You still have control
The most important thing you should remember is that in any situation, you personally control at least part of what is happening. If you cannot completely control the situation, at least control your attitude towards it and reactions to it. Concentrate on what depends on you personally.
You can always ask for help
Sometimes asking for help can be difficult. However, this The best way coping. If you find someone who can help you, the situation can change instantly. Don't be afraid to turn to friends and family for emotional support, financial assistance or practical advice. 
All this won't mean anything in a couple of years
Many of the problems we worry about this moment, will lose significance in five years. Remind yourself that failure is only a small part of your entire life. Even if you are in big trouble, for example, seriously ill close person, it’s still worth remembering that a lot of good things will happen to you in the near future.
You can handle it
Lack of self-confidence increases stress. The best solution is to consciously remind yourself that you know how to cope with problems. It may be difficult for you, you may be angry or sad. But it won't kill you. You can handle everything! Try to always remember this and not give up.
Everything will end well
No matter how difficult the current situation is, it is quite possible to at least take something good out of it. At least you will learn a life lesson. Perhaps you will learn not to repeat previous mistakes in the future, you will be able to move on, and learn to maintain a positive attitude. In any situation, look for something good, because it really is always present there.
Accept what is beyond your control
There are many things that are out of your control. You will not change the past, you will not correct the behavior of another person, you will not restore your loved one’s health. Don't waste time on empty regrets and don't try to fix what you can't. Let your energy go only to what really depends on you. Don't concentrate on external events. 
Remember past failures
If you think that you have been through problems before, you may feel better. Do not forget about the troubles that you managed to survive. They will help you gain self-confidence - you did it then, which means you can do it this time too. This means there is simply no reason for despair.
Take care of yourself
When things don't go your way, think about yourself. Rest, exercise, eat right and spend time doing your favorite hobbies. If you think more about yourself, you will have more strength to cope with problems.
In truth, what we talk about happens to us. And sometimes we talk a lot, and without thinking at all about the meaning of what was said. There are many smart books and different rules how, when and what to talk about.
But these are the rules... They are boring and we follow them only sometimes - when it is very important for us to follow them. The situations for applying these rules are different, but they stress us out quite a lot. And therefore in Everyday life we easily deviate from these rules.
It seems to us that we are simply living at this time. Just talking with a friend or girlfriend, just throwing out emotions, just talking about nothing. And sometimes we also know how to simply “show off” or simply “play to the public.”
And all this time, it turns out, we are putting together our own lives. From carelessly thrown words, from fragments of negativity or denial of the obvious. And we also build it, life, from sincere joy, from smiles and warm glances... But now we are not talking about them. Now we are talking about the words with which we cover our lives, turning it from a beautiful holiday carpet into 
tattered patchwork quilt.
From the most recent dialogues
“The kind of men I need simply don’t exist. They don’t exist! They haven’t been born yet.”--- This woman has been alone for a long time. She wants to get married, but the chances of starting a new family are equal... you yourself understand what they are equal to.
“Oh, now such women have gone. What kind of relationship can you have with them? They are predators and only want to take, or rather, snatch. That’s why I only focus on sex with them. And only with those who do not behave like predators.”--- This is said by a man who has had a lot of trouble with predators and is now licking his emotional wounds with casual sex. Can you imagine how “lucky” his women will be?
“What are you talking about! What kind of money do I have?! To have money, you have to become a criminal. But all I want is some kind of roof over my head and a little food. I don’t want anything else.”--- Of course, this man is no stranger to guile. In fact, deep down, he dreams of both status and new car, and I dream about an apartment in a prestigious area at night. But this is how things work out for him - he survives on petty earnings and continues to “become poor.”
“Clients? Oh, of course, I have them. But they are such misers that you won’t get any income. I’m tired of throwing pearls in front of them. You spread yourself out on the floor in front of them, and they, the bastards, take money away from your competitors.”--- These are the revelations of one business woman who dreams of big profits in her business and hates her clients. Comments also suggest themselves.
But there are even more terrible sayings...
“May your children not give you bread in your old age!”--- This phrase, said by a mother to her 10-year-old son, once simply shocked me. When I began to explain to her that her words were tantamount to cursing her own child, the lady was perplexed. Unfortunately, the words came back to the mother - the son grew up, left for another country and the mother was forgotten.
Be careful with your words. Everything you say can become part of your life without you noticing.
Want to test yourself? Try to record your conversation (preferably more than one) when you talk about how you are doing or about your plans, or evaluate what is happening. Listen to it after recording and write down what definitions you give, what mood you have in the conversation. You will be able to learn a lot about yourself after this exercise and about the reasons for the events in your life.
The situation is not as sad as it might seem. To change it, it is enough to replace the wording with positive ones, watch your words and maintain a positive attitude. This is very easy to do if you start changing your life in the company of a friend or girlfriend. You can help each other by watching the wording and giving the agreed upon signs.
In your own words, paint a beautiful picture of your own life. May she please you and give you happiness!
I’m 40 years old and everything in my life didn’t turn out exactly the way I wanted, I feel like in an ancient Greek tragedy, in it the hero always wants one thing and the result is the opposite, my family considers me a failure, a defective product, crazy, I feel that way myself , my only child today said that it’s my own fault that my life is not what I want, what can I do about the fact that these are the circumstances, it’s as if I always wanted the best, but it turned out worse than ever. I want everything to be somehow different, but I don’t see a way out, there are no prerequisites. I just don’t want to live anymore, I feel that all my attempts to change something are fruitless. and then what, poverty, complete uselessness to anyone and a cheap coffin. this is all
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Alexandra, age: 40 / 01/13/2013
Responses:
Alexandra, write what went wrong, why you call yourself that. Other people are fine, God will be their judge, but why are you spreading rot on yourself? As if there are people in the world who succeed in everything as they planned. Well, that's all. And always. Wizards are simple. They rule the whole world... Come on, some kind of nonsense... If you yourself, Alexandra, know that you wanted something, did everything in your power - and this something did not happen due to circumstances beyond your control - why are you scolding yourself? You are not omnipotent, you are not the Lord God. You can’t scold yourself for the way the world works, where we depend on a lot of different things...
Nelly, age: ** / 01/14/2013
You know, Alexandra, I don’t like to be a hypocrite and I don’t want to look like that blind man who leads the blind. It's clear from the letter that you
in despair, but we must not be afraid to somehow admit mistakes, we are all not saints. You know, the mistake of me and those around me is often that we spend our energy in the wrong places. Well, look, you are doing soul-searching, maybe there are problems in the past, but there is no need to pick an abscess, we live now and do something now. Happiness is it not in oboak, but often next to us.
Strength must be spent on spiritual life, not only on material life, there will be peace in the soul and it will become easier in the family, at work and man
a good one will appear. We are men looking for a positive, cheerful woman, so don’t be upset, do something little by little
Mikhail, age: 27 / 01/14/2013
Sasha, are you sure that most people’s lives turn out exactly the way they would like? But they don’t want to die.
You still haven’t explained why exactly life isn’t turning out the way you wanted. After all, you can try to change some things in life. Your life is in your hands. For example, for me too for a long time Life didn’t work out - personal life. But I didn’t give up and looked for my destiny, mainly through the Internet, because in my opinion it’s convenient. It took me about 6 years to search, but ultimately I found my destiny there. Do you know how many times I wanted to give up and stopped believing that I would have a family, but I didn’t give up and got what I wanted. As they say, the one who knocks, the door will be opened. Don't give up, knock!
Oksana, age: 32 / 01/14/2013
Yes, it hurts and you want to die, but since you asked the question to the Universe, then be patient and you will receive an answer. I asked a question To higher powers about your purpose in life. I considered myself a complete failure, just like you. For two years I asked for an answer, I was very worried and tormented. And they gave me the answer. It turned out that I was very successful in fulfilling my purpose, although socially...there were failures. Now I am happy and calm, and material things will follow. I can’t write everything, but the topic is very interesting. Put a specific question to the Higher Powers and get ready to receive an answer. Good luck.
Tala, age: 40 / 01/14/2013
40 years is a great age to start a new life from scratch! Change profession, city, occupation. Buck up, darling, and go for it!
Agnia Lvovna, age: 72 / 01/14/2013
Alexandra, I apologize, maybe my story is inappropriate, it’s up to you to decide whether to read it or not. The important thing I want to advise you is in the last paragraph.
I had terrible depression, I prayed for death, everything was disgusting, there was no support, no one understood, I hated life, everything didn’t work out the way I wanted, “friends” mocked me, judged me. I went to a psychologist - 0 progress, I ran out of money for a psychologist, thank God. Because his treatment method pushed me more towards suicide - he taught me forgiveness and fought my aggression. The decision came by chance. I was in a theater once, and a thought flashed through me that I heard and knew, but this time it was as clear as ever: “All life is a Game.” I put on a mask, chose for myself the Role that I needed: a self-confident, self-sufficient person, unshakable and able to defend himself with words.” In response to all the attacks from friends and relatives that they say I have everything6 in one place, I also “hit” them in the most painful places - angry and rude, but why don’t they think that it hurts me, it hurts terribly, yes, I’m weak, Well, is this a reason to drive me crazy? You can judge. But this is my life and territory!!
There were hysterical breakdowns, the thought was to give up everything, I was sick, that I remained a failure. I performed rituals that I read on websites, threw away all old things, photographs, closed the door to my old life - I understood perfectly well that I was sick, but this is my medicine and it helped me.
In my new life: “I am confident, I can do everything, I am my own Master,” this is how I positioned myself in front of everyone. I have never judged myself for my mistakes and mistakes, I need to learn this, because it is an internal reflex - block it, block this depressing self-criticism.
I began to study the language, communicate with foreigners who study Russian, of all ages and genders, thereby improving my language skills. My social circle has changed, there are fewer acquaintances, but they were like my Mask, I fed energy from them!! None of them ever condemned me, all criticism was objective, I am grateful to them for that!! They, as it turned out, also cry, and sometimes engage in self-flagellation, not everything is as wonderful as it seems, it’s like that for everyone, YOU NEED TO BE ABLE TO PAINLESSLY perceive reality.
It was terribly difficult for me, terrible pain, mental pain - probably the worst in this world, you can’t get rid of it by drinking painkillers, it’s like “walking barefoot on hot coals.” I did everything through force and to spite everyone.
I can’t say that I’m very happy now, but this is not the state of fear, horror and hopelessness.
I’m trying to change my own consciousness, to direct everything towards the positive - it doesn’t work, Maybe you can do it!! ??
I CAN ONLY TELL YOU THE MOST IMPORTANT THINGS I learned in my lesson:
Who gave them the right to JUDGE YOU? On what basis are they putting you on trial? Have they been in your shoes, have they lived your life, have they experienced your pain? Do they have a fire burning in their chests and consuming pain? This is what only “pathetic little people” do, who stroke their pride at the expense of your failures, won’t you lend a helping hand? to the fallen man? or will you pass by shouting Loser?
Believe me, Suicide is an extra reason to prove that you are truly a Loser, you cannot arrange your life and the best way to give up everything and leave. Why do you need such a stigma? Most people don’t have the life they dream about, unfortunately this is how it turns out...
Alexandra, I believe, I believe madly in you, you are the only one, the way you are, you have to fight through “I don’t want”, sometimes this is a very difficult path!! But when you get through it, it’s truly a victory over yourself, over your fears: the most difficult thing that can happen in life. And you, of course, can, we can do EVERYTHING, absolutely everything!!! This is a challenge, it is given only to the strong, you just don’t know about this potential in you.
I understand that everything is difficult, I still don’t have it the way I want, there is no warmth, comfort, family - but I’m struggling, I don’t believe in myself and that it will happen (my faith died a long time ago), BUT I make every effort to defy fate and everything!!!
With all my heart I wish you success and overcome this temporary illness!!
Alex, age: 35 / 01/14/2013
What kind of pessimism though! Tail with a pistol! When we came into this world, no one promised that it would be easy and fun. In the end, everything that does not kill us makes us stronger. There is no need to frantically look for a way out of the seemingly hopeless situation, try to be inactive and go with the flow, looking closely at the circumstances and hoping for the best - and everything will eventually return to normal. A person should not seek harmony with outside world, because the world, by and large, doesn’t care about him, he must find harmony with himself - and then the world will not seem so hostile to him. Live your life without proving anything to anyone, you know everything you need about yourself, but what do people think about you and your life - what difference does it make to you, you can’t please people, especially relatives - after all, we are connected with them by karmic ties, and As a rule, we are given to each other for a reason - either as a reward or as punishment for the purpose of education. In general, take a simpler approach to life, there’s not much of it left for a human lifetime, so why complicate everything if the end is determined to be a “coffin”, as you say, and whether it’s cheap or expensive, won’t it matter to us?
There is an opinion that only time can heal even the most old and deep wounds.
But few people agree to wait their whole lives to forget about problems and difficulties forever. That is why we present to you 23 ways to get back on your feet and get back to life, following which you will get rid of melancholy and blues.
Method number 1. Change your environment.
You definitely need to change your surroundings and environment for at least a couple of days. This will allow you to unwind and relax. It’s good if you have the opportunity to go on vacation, but if this is not possible, then you can simply go to the village or nature for a couple of days. Any change in your usual environment will allow you to refresh your thoughts and simply redirect them in a new beneficial direction.
Method number 2. Increase physical activity.
A strong, trained body has never hurt anyone; when you play sports, you don’t leave yourself a chance to despair and become despondent. Be sure to set a goal for yourself, and you will achieve it, you just have to want it. Your self-esteem will significantly increase if in the mirror you see a toned body, and not a limp piece of fat.
Method number 3. Analysis of the past life.
In a calm atmosphere, analyze your life, think about what contributed to your current state. What factors contributed to your anxiety and bad mood. Try to make a list of goals for the near future, as well as long-term plans for the future. Under each goal, write down what will help you achieve it. Think about what areas of activity you can realize yourself in, and what additional training you should learn. Think of something to do for the future.
Method number 4. Make new useful connections.
Remember that any person in your life is not accidental. Whatever experience it brings, positive or negative, it is experience. If you feel that everything is not going the way you would like, then it’s time to change something in your life. Having changed the situation, start changing soybeans immediate environment, unnecessary friends and refuse unnecessary connections. Because sometimes you just need to reconsider your attitude towards people and then you will completely feel the surge of strength from communicating with new interesting and useful personalities who will definitely help you become better.
Method number 5. Treat yourself and your body with care.
If you start to get sick, you start taking it right away medicines, the same happens with your emotional and mental health. Feed your day with new emotions and sensations, then you will be able to control your mood.
Method number 6. Change your external style.
By changing your appearance, you automatically change inside. Changes in hair color and length will certainly entail a change in clothing style, as well as everything internal state. Don’t wait for change, change yourself and change the space around you.
Method number 7. Cut off all unnecessary things and people from yourself.
When everything changes in our lives and you think that everything is going wrong, it is time when you can get rid of unnecessary things and worries. Let go of all your troubles and just start life with a clean slate. It is possible that this particular push will give you the opportunity to change your usual place of work or simply terminate an old unnecessary connection and move to a new level of relationship. If earlier you were afraid to take this important step, now you can easily let go of this situation and enter a new life.
Method number 8. Forget past grievances.
Do not hold unnecessary evil within yourself, as this does not lead to anything good. Remember that you don’t need to look for any secret meaning in all the actions and actions of those around you. Just let go of old memories, live new life with new people and new emotions.
Method number 9. Study the experiences of people who have gone through this.
It is not for nothing that there is a saying that it is necessary to learn from the mistakes of others. If you see that the people around you don’t understand you at all, then it’s time to look for like-minded people who can not only understand you, but also support you at the right time. It is best to look for such people on specialized forums, where you can simply read their stories, as well as find out how they got out of them.
Method #10: Clean out your home or garage.
If you are tired of everything, and it seems that everything is going awry, but you are terrified of making colossal changes in your life. You can start small, just do a good general cleaning at home or in the utility room. At the same time, do not feel sorry for old things, carefully weigh their significance, do not be afraid to throw away unnecessary junk, especially if you think that you will not need it! Pay special attention to those rooms that you haven’t gotten around to before and you will notice that your thoughts will line up in a more correct logical chain.
Method number 11. Remember those who were by your side all the time and loved you.
Always remember those who did not turn away from you in your difficult times. life situation. And even if you already thought that everything was going wrong and no one needed you anymore, but having calmed down, you must realize that there is always at least one person devoted to you with you. Remember him, appreciate him. After all, this friend was with you in the most difficult moments of your life.
Method number 12. Follow a proper diet.
In a difficult period for you, when all the troubles fall on you from above and it seems that there is no end to them. The body stops experiencing joy and tries to eat away all its experiences and grievances. At such moments, you may completely lose control of your appetite and may gain a lot of weight, and this will make you even more upset and despondent. Therefore, stick to proper nutrition
Include more fruits and vegetables in your diet, as well as sweets and starchy foods, replace them with nuts and dried fruits.
Method number 13. Learn a new profession or complete courses.
Nowadays it’s not a problem to get a new additional specialty, it’s especially easy for girls - after all, there is such a large selection of additional areas: you can choose hairdressing courses, manicure courses, makeup and braiding courses. Do not think that all your new knowledge will not be useful to you at all; you can first train on your relatives and friends. But it is possible that this will become your life’s work. For men, there is also a large choice of additional specializations: you can master driving, radio - technical circle, or complete foreign courses.
Perhaps it is additional area will help you discover your hidden talent!
Method number 14. Learn to control the expenditure of your finances.
If you feel that you are tired of everything and you are losing control over your life, then how can you keep track of its financial component? Learn to draw up a spending plan, for this you need to understand exactly what needs you will need to direct your finances to. Set a maximum limit that you are willing to spend. Learn to leave a small amount of money for a rainy day. Such a financial cushion will protect you from unexpected and unplanned expenses.
Method number 15. Think about today and don’t think about the future.
When planning a business, we often try to find benefits or calculate possible result. And when the planned bright future does not happen to us, we get upset and fall into a stupor, but we just need to live on and not get upset, because life does not stand still.
Never regret the time spent on your self-improvement and remember that everything you put into yourself will come back to you with interest.
Method No. 16. Learn or complete learning that is interesting to you foreign language.
By learning a foreign language, you can prove to yourself and the people around you that you can live and work in any conditions, even if it is another continent or country.
And besides, on any trip abroad you will feel more relaxed and freer. This means you can make new, interesting acquaintances with foreigners.
Method number 17. Learn to say no.
The most important ability that you must learn to have is the ability to say no. Just silently leave your offender or not dance to someone else’s tune, but having realized the betrayal, leaving everything behind, leave.
This skill will require a lot of endurance and fortitude from you, and you may not even be able to do it the first time. Just practice doing it in front of a mirror and you will definitely succeed.
Method number 18. Allow yourself to find happiness.
Many people are sure that all the misfortunes in their lives occur according to some predetermined program. But in fact, the whole point is in our head, it is in it that the idea arises that we ourselves are worthy of all troubles and misfortunes. Allow yourself to find your own happiness. As soon as another program starts running in your head, you will immediately notice significant changes in positive side in your life.
Be more confident in yourself and you will definitely succeed!
Method number 19. Do not communicate with those people who annoy you and do not understand you.
It's no secret that there are people - vampires who will suppress you with their mood. Therefore, learn to isolate yourself from unwanted people. It is better to be surrounded by cheerful and carefree people. Don't be afraid that these people won't understand or will be offended by you. People who truly love you will always understand you. And if you are tired of everything, such people will always support you.
Method number 20. Get rid of bad habit for 2-3 months.
It usually takes 21 days for a habit to become part of your life. But from a bad habit, for such short term, it is not possible to get rid of it, it will take more time. At least 3 months. No one promises that it will be easy and comfortable for you. The main thing is to overcome it at first, then it will become much easier.
In addition to the enormous benefits for your health, you will gain free money that you can use for your hobbies or just entertainment. Just think about what you previously denied yourself.
Method number 21. Get rid of fears.
The best solution to getting rid of illnesses and illnesses is to rid yourself of the oldest fears and complexes. Just think how much confidence and strength such an act will add to you. And with what pride you will tell everyone that you were able to overcome your fear and your complexes.
Remember that even a small victory inspires big actions and accomplishments!
Method number 22. Know how to respect your past.
Only by comparing yourself with yesterday's self can you evaluate the progress of your accomplishments or actions. It is only thanks to the past that you became what you are now. Even if you only have a negative experience behind you, it is this experience that motivated you to achieve achievements, which means that you owe your present to the hardships in the past. After all, now you are a purposeful, educated, self-sufficient person who can proudly say that he made himself.
Method number 23. Learn to forgive yourself and everyone around you.
This is perhaps one of the hardest skills to accept. Usually, such an ability comes only with age, but once it comes, it remains with a person for life. You must realize that ideal people does not exist and you, including the simplest person who can make mistakes!
