Hello, dear readers. In this article I want to talk about how to make the right decision in choosing a job. We spend a lot of time at work, so it is so important at the selection stage not to make mistakes that can be costly. Unfulfillment, hatred, disappointment - these are things that can be avoided by taking simple actions before giving preference to one or another job.
“The main thing is not to occupy your time with something, but to find yourself in it”
The lucky one is the one who receives money for his favorite activity. Unfortunately, this does not always happen.
One of the simplest and at the same time difficult questions is?
There is a category of people who quickly find the answer in their childhood, talents, or by a happy coincidence. However, many for a long time trying to answer this question for themselves. If you already know the answer, then it will be easier for you to choose a job, if not, then first try to think about this topic.
All people are unique, each has special abilities, thanks to which they can achieve incredible success in their career. Remember what you loved to do as a child, what fascinated you most, what worked best? Think about what you could do if you weren't paid for it? The answers to these questions will help you get closer to understanding your life's work.
Assessing your options
If you already know what position you are applying for and the choice is limited to several job options, then the first thing you should do is comparative analysis. A piece of paper, a pen and an hour of free time help with this.
Write down on a piece of paper all the components of what you think are the best work. Write down all the criteria on a sheet, evaluate the importance of each of them, and then write down the pros and cons of all options according to these criteria.
Workplace: evaluate the location of the company’s office, how long will it take to get home, is it convenient to get there? How comfortable is it? workplace, do you have everything you need? Not all companies purchase office supplies or provide necessary funds labor, you may have to buy them at your own expense.
Think about whether the status of the company is important to you; it could be a large organization with a good reputation or a new, unknown enterprise.
How many people work in the company and directly in your department, study organizational structure, it will become clear to you who reports to whom, because no less important is.
Financial component: level wages, availability of awards or bonuses for successful activities, does the company offer a social package (many companies, taking care of their employees, provide additional policies health insurance, which is certainly a plus), is it possible career, does the organization pay for telephone communications and travel?
Answer the prepositional questions and add your personal ones to the list - this will help you choose the best one between two jobs.
Where to go?
If you are just thinking about what to do and have no idea what job to choose, then sit down and try to decide on your desires.
Decide which schedule suits you, five-day or shift work, whether you like to work in the morning or in the evening. Decide which option suits you best - or in the office. Are you a team player or a loner?
When the issue with working conditions is resolved, think about what you like to do, what actions to perform, specifically about the process itself (teaching, analyzing, drawing, cooking, writing, sawing, mixing cocktails, etc.). List all the activities that you like and enjoy.
Next, you need to decide on the field of activity of the company in which you will be interested. After all, if you like to bake cakes, then you can go to a restaurant or a pastry shop. If you want to engage in woodworking, then you can go to a conveyor production line, or you can go to a company that produces unique furniture to order.
Having collected answers to all questions, try to understand which position and company will suit your needs and interests, look through vacancies on similar topics, rate job responsibilities and your skills. Perhaps they will coincide, if not, then find your “gaps” in knowledge and skills and fill them.
Choosing a job is not an easy or responsible matter; everyone has individual needs and priorities, so the most important thing is to understand yourself and your desires. It's never too late to start, if you are, then think about another possibility.
The most important thing is that you wake up in the morning and want to go to work, enjoy the process and get good pay for it.
I wish you good luck in choosing your future job, I hope this article will help you make a decision.
Before making a choice, especially a responsible and important one, a person goes through a painful period of doubt. Tossing about how to do it right choice between one and the other can become unbearable and last too long. So long that I’m already disgusted by the process. If there was some simple and perfect way to make the right choice, then... Oh, how easy it would be to live then!
- Why can it be so difficult to choose between one and the other?
- How to overcome doubts and still make the right, important choice in life? What to rely on for this?
In response to the question “how to make an important choice?” There is always a cunning person who will offer a quick and simple solution: for example, toss a coin, tell fortunes on the petals of a daisy, or buy a ball that, when shaken, gives the answer. As if such a choice could be the right one. We know that this does not happen - the doubts that torment you from within will not make it possible to get rid of the process so easily. Can they be removed with a coin? No! Then how to calm them down? How to not only make the right choice, but a choice without painful doubts? This is exactly the question we will answer in this article.
Why is it so difficult to make the right choices in life?
If I had known where you would fall, I would have laid out straws
The problem of making the right choice lies... tram-pa-pa-ra-ram, who would have thought - in human psychology. What did you think? That it directly depends on what and what you choose between? Well, no, everything is much deeper and more complex. The problem is that prevents us from making this very choice– why doubts are so painful that they are a real stupor. There is something wrong with this.
The best way to understand why it is so difficult to make the right choice in favor of anything is with the help of system-vector psychology by Yuri Burlan. This science identifies 8 psychotypes - vectors. One of them can make a person doubt all the time. This is an anal vector, you can learn more about it, and.
A person with an anal vector has some innate desires, one of which is the desire for ideal quality. He wants everything to be not just “good”, but “excellent”. The slightest blemish leads to disappointment; you want to do it all over again. If this fails, the person often suffers for the rest of his life. For example, he is gluing wallpaper and somewhere in one place it didn’t work out quite well - a small inconsistency appeared. Another will easily forget about it and will not pay attention, the third will even put up a sofa or cover it with a picture. But not an analist - he will know and remember this mistake, blot, he will not be able to forget it, it will always be a thorn in his side.
Such a desire for ideal normally provides a very positive impetus for development. anal man. He does great at school and college and does not allow himself to be lazy. He can become a professional in his field or even, when combined with other vectors, an encyclopedia person, like Alexander Druz, for example. But things don't always work out so perfectly. Sometimes an anal person is not given this skill in childhood - to bring it to the ideal. Uncertain by nature, he becomes the opposite of a professional - full of doubts and worries. Without support, he constantly rushes from one thing to another and often even the simplest questions cannot decide what to say in order to make a difficult choice - this is a stop, a stupor. Doubts seem to preserve him. A bad first experience also significantly worsens the situation.
Doubting the norm is the right choice based on a well-remembered experience, both negative and positive. Doubt is not normal - it is tossing from side to side, when experience is completely leveled out as a support for the right choice in life.
Only human experience, as well as the experience of previous generations, can be a support for minimizing one’s own mistakes. It is the anal person who knows this better than others; his entire psyche is directed towards the past. He loves history, well, he remembers his childhood and youth in detail.
But not being able to rationally use his best quality of life, the anal sufferer directs all his energy to bad experiences - he becomes fixated on grievances, events where he made a bitter mistake. At the same time, positive experiences are neglected and not remembered. Then this experience does not become a support for a person, but is an even greater factor of stupor. At the moment when it is necessary to make a difficult choice in life, a person in fact does not have a positive experience, but only a negative one, which, naturally, tells him that everything can only be bad.
Such people are often referred to as pessimists.. And this is not surprising, because they are always sure that nothing will work out. So prompts them accumulated negative experience.
Doubts away - how to choose between the two?
No person can never make mistakes in his life. We don't have such an opportunity. However, you can learn to make the right choices in life and make fewer mistakes. Today such a skill is given in system-vector psychology by Yuri Burlan. By understanding the characteristics of our anal vector, our character, our internal subconscious motives for actions, any person can adjust their life so that life is not painfully embarrassing and difficult, but pleasant and joyful.
The inability to choose is fraught with the most unpredictable consequences. Anyone who has shifted this responsibility onto the shoulders of society, loved ones, anyone but himself, is doomed to suffer all his life and in any situation. Because he lives under the influence of those who manipulate him for their own benefit. Anyone who is not satisfied with this scenario must learn to choose, no matter how difficult or scary it may be, and anyone can learn this.
How to learn to make choices
Whatever goal you set for yourself, on the way to achieving it you cannot do without patience and confidence in positive result. It is impossible to fulfill your plans when you don’t believe in yourself, constantly doubt and look for reasons why it won’t work out. It doesn’t matter whether you want to get rich or learn something, without faith nothing will happen.
Therefore, you decided to learn how to choose, do not let doubts undermine your confidence in success. Drive them away, brush them aside, be distracted by something, just don’t go deep into them and don’t try to analyze them. Otherwise, instead of directing all your efforts to achieve results, you will again and again fight your own fears and insecurities.
To decrease Negative influence fears that prevent you from making decisions, train yourself to immediately analyze what you are afraid of, what makes you doubt the result. Maybe due to self-doubt, low self-esteem, constant criticism from parents, loved ones or others. If so, look for a way to eliminate such negative and clearly destructive influences.
Stop trying to be good to everyone, stop trying to earn someone’s recognition and approval. You deserve love simply because you are you with all your strengths and weaknesses. Love does not require sacrifices and does not accept them. So if you don’t like what you hear or see, speak up right away, don’t be silent, don’t try to be correct. Be yourself. Allow yourself to have your own opinion, different from the opinion of your elders, parents, partners, girlfriends and even society.
Learn to live in your own head, make your own mistakes, don’t be afraid to try, fall, get burned and endure pain and suffering. Accept the fact that this is how the world and man work, that he is forced to endure, and worry, and wait, and despair, and rejoice, and believe, and hope, and fight, and argue until he is hoarse if he doesn’t like something.
Everyone has the right to have their own position on any issue and arguments to defend it. It is impossible to learn to choose when you limit yourself in everything and try to squeeze into the framework created by someone, no matter how good intentions justify their existence.
People are created to search, analyze, think, make decisions, carry them out and even abandon them. They have the right to be illogical, to change their opinion when they realize that it was wrong. Often a person wants to be stubborn and stand his ground, simply because he wanted to, and if this leads to problems and quarrels, then he will be responsible for his behavior and words. But this will be his decision and his choice, and not someone else.
It is impossible to live without stumbling, without making a mistake, without trying, to do it your own way, either getting a good result or a bad one. Without mistakes and trials, you cannot know yourself, your place in this world, or how you want to live your life.
Allow yourself to be wrong, bad, good, different, unpredictable and spontaneous. Stop thinking that your life is less valuable than your parents, loved ones, children or society. You are just as important as they are. Everyone has their own life, their own path.
You are responsible for yourself, and you must pay or receive dividends for decisions made, and not to someone. So it’s better to make decisions on your own, so that later you know exactly what not to do or what to do for you. Not for them, but for yourself, learn to choose.
Yes, it is often easier to shift responsibility for failure onto someone else, which is why people often listen to others. But this not only makes life easier in some ways, but also impoverishes it. Because the decision you made could have been much better.
In the end, we are all not eternal: parents leave, loved ones too, power and social foundations change, and throughout your life there will be no one nearby who always holds your hand and tells you what to do. Think about this, and then it will become much easier to take responsibility for your own life. Otherwise, you risk failure when the time comes and you have to make decisions yourself, and you still won’t know how to act in a given situation in the best way for yourself.
How to choose correctly
- The ability to make choices is often destroyed too much in childhood caring parents, which due to their own psychological problems and excessive anxiety, they tried to control everything their child did. But instead of helping, they did him a disservice, since their fear of letting their child out of control led to the fact that as an adult, he never learned to care and think about himself. Many people do not know how best to act, what to do; they cannot make a decision without advice and moral support, much less bear responsibility for it. Deep down in their souls, they remained children with a lot of complexes, unsure of themselves, because their parents were not confident in them. They simply didn't trust them. Behind their imaginary care hid a lack of self-confidence, which they successfully instilled in their unfortunate child.
- Therefore, adults have to learn to make decisions, starting with basic things. To begin with, it is important for them to get used to performing any actions without regard to those around them or what someone will say. The purchase of clothing, accessories, the choice of recreation and entertainment, courses and education should take place without the participation of others. You no longer need to consult anyone, ask their opinion, or think for a long time. You need to do everything. Regardless of what the result is.
- Difficult. So, think again about what you want: either change, or accept everything as it is and continue to live in someone else’s head further.
- If you decide to change, be patient until you develop a stable habit of doing what you think is necessary and right, and not your husband, boyfriend, parents or children. Stop considering them higher and smarter than you. This is your life and only your voice is decisive, as in their life - theirs.
- When you go shopping, don’t pick up the phone so you don’t suddenly call your friend or mom to ask for advice on what clothes to choose. Do not take anyone with you, do not touch the sellers. Choose for yourself. Let it be a bad choice, but it will be yours, and it will be bad in your opinion, not in the opinion of others. Don’t rush to show your new clothes to your mom or friends if they are used to constantly advising you on what to buy and what not to buy. Grit your teeth and be true to yourself. And whatever they say, answer, it’s your choice. And he suits you.
- In general, it is very important to get rid of those who allow you to be constantly discussed, even in a seemingly friendly manner. No one has the moral right to tell you that you are doing something wrong when it does not harm anyone or create problems. People must look after their own lives, and intervene only when they are asked for help or are in danger.
- Try not to ask others what is best to do. Try it, make your own decisions. Let it be difficult, cause awkwardness and surprise among those who controlled your life just yesterday. But be stubborn and firm. They begin to convince you that you yourself cannot do anything, and in response you begin to say the same thing about them, remembering all the mistakes that this person has made. And he will retreat.
In order to succeed in life, understand yourself and your true desires, find your own path and meet every day with joy, you must be able to choose. Any situation requires making a decision, even if it seems that this is not the case, we still make a choice - to do nothing. Therefore, any decision that can have a significant impact on our destiny must be made consciously, and then, regardless of the result obtained, you will learn to take responsibility and find best option solving the problem assigned to you. And this is a direct path to success.
How to understand that you have made the right choice and that you are with the right man with whom you want to live a long and happy life together. It seems like you have a crush on him green eyes, a sense of humor and a talent for music, but what if that's not what really attracted you?
Our meetings are not accidental. And now I’m not talking about fate! Sigmund Freud also said: “We meet only those who already exist in our subconscious.” And it seems he was right. Let's find out what really stands behind our choice of a man.
Childhood sensations
Most women pay attention only to the one who “falls” into their childhood traumas, and in relationships with others it seems to them that “there is no spark,” explains Natalya Morgunova, family psychologist. This occurs under the influence of libido, an unconscious construct that is formed before the age of 6. Libido depends on the expression of love in the family.
The relationship of parents to the child. Many of us have faced neglect and aggression from our dad or mom, and this is what, paradoxically, then excites and attracts us in a partner. The result is a neurotic, sometimes even painful relationship, although this does not mean that they are doomed to failure.
Unclosed Gestalt
Trying to complete in a relationship with one thing what we did not finish with others - be it parents or an ex - is a normal mechanism, reassures psychologist Natalya Morgunova. Another thing is that it doesn't work. You can complete the gestalt only with those who are involved in it: say what you did not express, ask for forgiveness, forgive yourself.
And if a personal meeting is impossible, a psychologist will help to work through the situation. Until then, we will have to repeat it like a mantra: a man from the past and a man from the present are different! We pay attention to those who “fall into” our childhood traumas. The rest seem boring.
Ancient instinct
Anxious women often rely on instinct and feel that they need protection, says the psychologist. “Being strong and independent, they still look for a “strong shoulder,” although the times when this was important for survival are long gone. Perhaps such girls once faced danger and since then believe that the fittest survive. In a crisis situation, an alpha male can really stand up for his woman, but when life gets better, it can be difficult with a brutal man.
Sober calculation
There is nothing wrong with such a selection criterion, says Natalya Morgunova, but only if the woman is fully aware that in a relationship with a financially wealthy man she will have to make certain sacrifices. The desire to see a person next to you who will be a support is quite natural; each of us simply perceives the concept of support in our own way. If a girl only cares about the material sphere, and her emotions seem to be “turned off,” perhaps, once upon a time, she associated love with something dangerous and traumatic.
List of requirements
In fact, choosing a man wisely, relying on reason, is a mature and healthy position. Spontaneous attraction awakens only for those who fall into “trauma”. So if you don’t want to find yourself in a relationship based on internal conflict, take a closer look at a person who, although not “catching” at first sight, but corresponds to your rational ideas about suitable partner. Sexual interest will come later"
How to understand that you have made the right choice
- You can not only be yourself next to this person, you are pleased and happy that you are exactly like that. He doesn’t want to change anything in your character or appearance, and if you’ve been in a relationship for several years, you know about each other’s shortcomings, but accept them.
- He inspires you to develop and expand your horizons, and, ideally, he manages to “charge” you to action by his example, and not by moralizing.
- You always have something to talk about, and if you disagree with each other, this does not become a reason for resentment or irritation. By the way, it’s also nice to be silent together.
- It’s good for you when he’s not around, but it’s better with him. And all because you do not depend on each other, do not perceive this relationship as the only source of happiness in life, but both are psychologically mature enough to appreciate every moment spent together.
- You have a feeling of “you did everything right.” No, doubting your choice after quarrels or looking at a terrible mess in the kitchen (and he only cooked scrambled eggs!) is a common thing. But if the feeling of “something is wrong” visits every day, this is an alarming sign.
- You want the same thing in life. Buy a house on the seashore or constantly move from place to place, have children or stay child-free, save free money for a future retirement or spend it all at once - whatever your decision on everything important issues, it must be general.
Can you imagine? what kind of success could be achieved if it was always easy and quick to make the right choice? Enroll in the most promising university? Choose exactly the partner who will bring true happiness in your personal life? Correctly determine the advantages of a particular vacancy? Choosing the best stocks to invest your money in? Such a person would probably become the ruler of the world in a couple of years.
Let's take a break from our dreams and remember how we usually make choices in real life. Depression, tossing from one thing to another, the desire not to choose at all or just toss a coin...
Remark: I say, of course, after trying it on my own skin and observing my friends. For a couple of days I was tormented by a difficult choice. I got angry and gathered my thoughts together to make the right choice algorithm. I have an unwritten (already written;) rule: if something turns out badly, do it better than anyone else.
So, the situation is familiar to everyone: you need to make some decision, choose between
several options for something (what job to get, what girl to choose, where to invest money). How to make the right choice? Let's figure it out.
First, a few notes.
1. We need to understand that our information about the available options is incomplete in any case (alas, we cannot see the future; the situation can always change). Therefore, a choice made in the most careful manner, well thought out and justified may ultimately turn out to be wrong.
There are two consequences from this fact:
— firstly, when making a choice, it’s good to be a little fatalistic. You need to tell yourself something like: “Whatever choice I make, I will be able to reap all the benefits later and cope with it.” negative consequences" Why is it necessary to understand that it is fundamentally impossible to make an ideal choice? (Because it is possible to guess with the choice and settle on the ideal option, but just guess) So, this is necessary in order to reduce stress in the selection process. Depression, Bad mood– are absolutely unnecessary and do not contribute in any way to the right choice. And nothing good at all ;)
- on the other hand, this means that you can reduce the likelihood of making the wrong choice by extracting new information. Therefore, one should strive to study the subjects of choice as fully as possible.
2. We are often visited by the desire to leave everything as it is and not choose for as long as possible. In most cases, this tactic is not very smart. You want to control your life, right? Or not? Do you care what it will be like?
So if you want not to choose at all, then it is best to calm down, rest your soul, and again take on the problem of choice a little later. "The morning is wiser than the evening". You can sleep with a fresh head, not littered negative emotions weigh everything and finally make a choice.
Decision making techniques.
How can you make a choice? There are several ways:
1. Just sit down (take a walk, lie in the bath, etc. – wherever is more convenient for you) and think. Twist through the options in your head, figure out what and how.
2. The same thing, but think about the options not haphazardly, but on paper or on the computer. Write: “Option 1” - and its characteristics, what you like, what you don’t like, what are the advantages and disadvantages.
3. Make a sign like this (click to enlarge):
It’s quite obvious, but I’ll still explain: you evaluate each of the options according to several (the more, the better) criteria. For example, in the case of choosing a job, these could be: salary, availability of free time, prospects for growth, psychological comfort, social status, and so on. After scoring, you simply add up the results for the individual options and, with a light heart, choose the option that earned the most points.
This method of decision-making is good not only and not so much in itself, but because it allows you to look at various options from different sides, analyze different aspects the decision being made. This method of choosing between alternatives gives you a better understanding of the big picture.
