A dispute is a confrontation of evidence that argues for different positions or opinions on the same issue. How to learn to always win an argument? What techniques should you use to prove you are right or simply win the “fencing of the minds”?
Dispute and its types
The disputing parties bring evidence, arguments, tricks, elements of rhetoric to arrive at a result: to find an answer, to obtain the desired turn of events, or to gain the appearance of victory. The choice of methods for conducting a controversial argument depends on the final goal. There are disputes for finding truth, for persuasion, for victory, sports and games.
The theory of dispute was created by the ancient Greek philosopher Aristotle. He also distinguished the types:
Dialectics. When disputants find out the truth using logic, correct location arguments.
Sophistry. Rightness is achieved with the help of correct and incorrect evidence: substitutions, mistakes, tricks.
Eristic. The idea is proven by dishonest methods and at any cost.
The philosophical book “The Art of Victory” has a slightly different attitude towards the Aristotelian classification. In Schopenhauer, eristics are based on competently convincing others that one is right. This is an art in which the goal is intellectual victory.
Types of disputes that use correct techniques:
A dispute in order to jointly discover the truth or clarify the grounds for accepting or rejecting an idea is called a discussion, disputation or discussion. The experience of conducting such disputes allows one to learn to recognize and not support arguments that do not bring knowledge or demagogic ones.
Controversy is a “militant” belief. In any case, aimed at affirming precisely one’s point of view and completely refuting another.
Questionable dispute methods are used:
In an eclectic dispute, which involves the search for truth, but using any methods for this.
In a sophistical confrontation. The meaning is to defeat, and not to find out the truth.
It is interesting that it is possible to prove that you are right logically, but not to convince. This happens if arguments that are difficult to understand are chosen, and the way of conveying them is not appropriate to the public (speech, manners, uncertainty in behavior). As well as vice versa - you can convince with emotional and psychological methods of influence, but not through argumentation.
Components of the dispute
A debate is positive when the process and victory are not an end in themselves. Leading to useful results for those disputing and being a special way of knowledge. But this approach requires a certain personal culture. Algorithm for a “correct” dispute:
Reasoned and understandable presentation of thoughts to the interlocutor.
Listening to and understanding your counterpart's point of view.
Evaluating, challenging what was heard, or correcting one’s position.
Searching for new arguments, listening to refutations.
So - until the truth is clarified or one of the opponents accepts the arguments of the other side. The main thing in a dispute is the presence of a problem or topic and evidence.
Any evidence must consist of the following components:
Thesis - the main idea.
Arguments (or arguments) that consist of facts (objective, actual event) and opinions (subjective judgment, assessment, assumption).
Demonstrations. That is, a way of conveying arguments to the listener.
Only a competent combination of the components of evidence will help win the dispute.
How to argue in order to win?
To a successful person who cultivates in himself leadership skills, the ability to argue is necessary, not only to gain a heady feeling of triumph. And, as Turgenev believed, in order to benefit from an argument with a more intelligent opponent, pleasure comes from fighting with an equal, to help the weak in intelligence and for entertainment - with a stupid one. How to conduct an argument correctly?
Politeness and calmness. Respect for your opponent is mandatory, as is respect for his sincere convictions. This is a sign of a broad mind.
Self-control is everything to us, otherwise defending your point of view and refuting someone else’s opinion turns into a quarrel. Emotions interfere with listening and presenting arguments. generate errors that can be easily exploited by a competent opponent.
When there are listeners, equanimity makes a good impression.
Listen to your opponent. If only one side speaks, then there is no dispute, even if the other participant disagrees. And the speech of one speaker is just a monologue. Therefore, listening to your interlocutor - the most important condition. Including to win in verbal altercations.
It’s a paradox, but it is precisely when a person is allowed to speak out that he becomes more open to accepting other people’s opinions. Of course, if he is not endowed with psychopathic traits.
And yet, when expressing in detail the evidence of your statement, sometimes the enemy’s conviction that he is right is lost, which helps to win. This happens due to a lack of thorough knowledge about the subject of the dispute, or other aspects of the topic. Before discussing the problem, it is not realized, but raised when “voicing it out.”
How more people says, the more likely it is to make a mistake or move away from the topic, taking advantage of this, they achieve superiority.
It follows from the previous paragraph that it is necessary to have fundamental knowledge about the subject that has caused controversy. And from different positions. A dispute between two ignoramuses is pointless, just like an argument between an expert and a stubborn layman.
Reasonable argument:
Establish the “modality” of the thesis: whether it is true, sufficiently reliable or false. Likely, less likely, or, if there are no arguments for or against, only possible.
Ideally, this requires truthfulness. But the use of incorrect techniques implies that deliberate dishonesty is also possible.
Collect arguments for and against the main theses. When collecting information, ask questions: “How and why?” This will help you define for yourself the boundaries and scope of the topic in which you will have to argue and find counterarguments.
Divide arguments into “best”, “good” and “bad”. A few “strong” ones are better than many “weak” ones. The order of use depends on the chosen tactics. You can let your opponent speak, giving weak arguments, and then “take aback” with strong ones. But then, it is likely that the enemy will use the unsuccessful sides of your “bad” arguments as a strengthening and addition to his own. evidence base. So, we should proceed from the topic of the contradiction and the psychology of the interlocutor.
Homer's Rule suggests using strong arguments, then good ones, and then better ones. And from the weak in polemics there is only harm.
It is advisable that each opinion be supported by a specific fact. For example, the opinion: “Rose hip oil is better than expensive cream.” Fact: “Scientists conducted a test in such and such a year and found out that the composition (what) has a positive effect (how exactly) on the skin.”
Make sure that recognition of the evidence “pulls” along with it recognition of the thesis.
Incorrect maneuver: drawing up a false cause-and-effect relationship.
Presentation of arguments. To defeat an arguer, you must competently and intelligibly, adapting to your interlocutor. According to Aristotelian rhetoric, the following appeals are distinguished:
Pathos. By appealing to your opponent's emotions, you can create empathy or sympathy for your arguments.
Logos. Appeal to logic and reason. Facts, statistics, and links to objectively authoritative sources are great.
Epic. An appeal that refers to experience. For example, in a dispute about the best winter tires, a car enthusiast who points out his driving experience as an argument will look more convincing than a “pedestrian” who has never driven.
Weakening the opponent's arguments.
Using the information that you collected earlier to confirm that you are right, find an error in the thesis or argumentative base.
Notice logical errors in the connection between arguments and theses, when confirmation of the main idea does not follow from the argument given.
Pay attention to substitution of the thesis or departure from it.
If your opponents don’t have statistics, ask for just such evidence.
Ask leading questions so that the person arguing with you comes to the conclusion you want without noticing the catch. T.n. Socratic method.
Presenting a single case as a system that confirms a rule.
Distort an argument by dissecting it, picking out weak points. Sometimes leading to the point of absurdity.
"Boomerang effect" To turn an argument or judgment against the speaker means to strengthen its impact.
To win an argument, they also use tricks and subterfuge, methods of psychological influence, and rhetorical techniques.
Psychological techniques of influencing an opponent.
When arguing for the sake of persuasion and victory, they use manipulative techniques: simple “mirroring”, flattery, praise, expression of empathy. Or, on the contrary, irritating the opponent, deliberately spurring him on so that in a hurry he misspoke or makes a mistake.
Irony, . They defuse the situation and create a favorable impression in front of listeners. Negative irony psychologically suppresses the enemy. But in business discussions, witticisms are inappropriate.
Attacking the personal qualities of your interlocutor is an “argument to a person.” Works as a supporting trick, but not as the only one. Considered incorrect, but sometimes effective.
Rhetorical device: begins with agreement with the argument, assumption. But the strongest counterargument comes at the end.
Focus exclusively on weak arguments, repeating them several times.
Use the word “yes” as often as possible yourself and challenge it from your opponent. The Socratic Method takes advantage of this in part. Studies have shown that a “no” causes a surge of adrenaline in a person, and a positive statement helps to release endorphins. Psychologically, it relaxes and reduces the ability to fight. Your counterpart will become more suggestible and persuasive.
Using the pronoun “we” reduces the opponent’s desire for confrontation.
To learn how to win disputes, a business person needs to expand lexicon, train, consciously manage emotions, master public speaking skills. Have an idea how cognitive activity, psychological techniques influence on the opponent and methods of dispute: correct and incorrect.
To always win an argument, for the sake of pleasure or persuasion, you don’t have to use “dirty” actions, but be aware of in different ways conducting a discussion or polemic is necessary. To easily nullify tricks, tricks and subterfuges.
No matter how important the subject of confrontation, one should always remember that dissent is not a reason for a fight. If emotions run high, the debate is immediately curtailed. And for a self-confident person, sometimes it is more important not to win an argument by any means, but to gracefully admit defeat.
18 March 2014, 15:18We all live in a society, and one way or another we need to adhere to the rules established in it, playing various social roles. You can, of course, get away from all the bustle of the world, become a hermit philosopher or become a monk, so as not to play by the rules imposed by society. But not everyone is happy with this choice.
How do you still live in this world, how do you learn to win? What rules can and should be adopted for yourself in order to find and win your place in the sun? Let's find the answer to this question.
All life is a game
Every person, I think, has seen at least once in his life computer game or at least has an idea about it. So, these games are very similar to everyday reality. In my opinion, the most interesting and unpredictable game is life, and it happens online 24 hours a day. Most often it seems as if we are in control, but sometimes we get the impression that everything has already been decided for us, as if our opponent is fate itself, and there is no way to beat it.
We are all in this multidimensional reality, interacting with each other and wanting to establish our own rules. We are fighting for something and proving something to someone. Each of us performs a certain role, our function in this world and must adhere to its laws, that is, comply with the rules established in the game.
Imagine that from the moment of your birth this real game was launched, and you became a direct participant in it. First, adaptation occurs, that is, you get used to it, gain strength, but you still cannot act actively - it’s not the right level. For now, your elders (parents) do almost everything for you, feed you, swaddle you, take care of your health so that in the future you will be a stronger participant in the game, and prepare you for trials. After some time, you begin to take more conscious actions.
So, if you, having already become an established player, stand in one place, you will not get anywhere, but will simply waste your time. You can stand like this for a very long time. Or you will begin to take safe paths, avoiding various battles and trials, but you will not benefit from this, you will not become stronger.
Yes, sometimes it seems that playing with fate is useless, but if you don’t make any attempts to win, don’t strive for anything, then you can end this game right away. But if you are already playing it, that is, living, then you should act, move forward, develop, otherwise there will be no continuation, but game over will come.
Rules for a successful game
1. Be careful. Each of us chooses our own strategy in this game. You need to be careful on the way. As you move, you may encounter various objects and characters that can be either dangerous or useful to you. Learn to recognize them correctly.
2. Don't stand still. Life is motion. Longing for something internal growth. There is no need to be afraid to take steps and learn. “He who does nothing makes no mistakes.” Even all our losses and failures are important for you, as they give you experience.
3. Use your energy wisely. Take care of yourself, take care of your health, replenish your energy reserves in time, otherwise you can become weak and start losing.
4. Choose the right direction. Before you take a step, think about where you are going and why. Make plans for your actions, think about the goal.
5. Remember that main character- You. You may have many assistants, many people around, but the main character is still you. And only you bear all responsibility for your life. This is your game and you are responsible for it. No one can live Life for you, each player has his own path, his own game. You can, of course, hand over control of your game to someone else for a while, but then don't complain if you lose. It is better to take responsibility only for yourself and be responsible for your actions.
6. There is no room for weakness in life.. The one who gives up loses. Strong people they are respected and admired. Outwit the world! Don't show your weakness. Of course, we are all not made of iron, we all sometimes mope, feel sad, become despondent and cry. But let only the closest people know about this, who will understand and support. For the rest of you, try to stay strong. Cry at home, alone with yourself. Restore your strength - and forward, with a smile, to new victories and conquests!
7. Know how to lose with dignity! Even if you are unlucky in something, something doesn’t work out, learn to get out of this situation with dignity and wisdom. Do not accept other people's pity, it humiliates. Prove to everyone that you are able to cope with the problem, that you have the strength, desire and desire to move on.
Look at yourself and this situation from the outside, as if you were seeing a projection on a big screen. How do you see yourself and how do you want to be? What qualities did you lack for success? Everything will come to you at the right time if you follow the right direction towards your goal and continue to strive for victory. And this victory must be won, first of all, over oneself, over one’s weakness and uncertainty.
The game called Life cannot be restarted and started over; in it you need to go to the end, taking responsibility for everything that happens, thinking about your every step. This game is unique, appreciate it!
In life, it is important to learn to start winning, what is the secret of success of many great people, how to move life from a dead point, to achieve real results and how to become successful in life. Sometimes there is a feeling that we are marking time, even making great efforts, we feel that something important is missing to achieve our goals. How to succeed in life? Let's consider the main recommendations on this issue, the life experiences of great people, learn to find support points, and develop resistance to difficulties along the way.
how to become successful in life
Psychologists say that the feeling of powerlessness, the inability to achieve success, and constant difficulties in life arise not from external factors, but from internal reasons. Man himself is the source of his victories and misfortunes. It is very important to develop a psychology successful person, dare to succeed.
How to overcome the blues and start living? There is a program that allows you to radically change your attitude towards yourself and the life around you.
Let's consider the main points:
Identify your inner fear of success
Fear of failure or fear of success? People are often afraid to stand out from the crowd, prefer to live like everyone else, and do not believe in their own strength. Having identified fears, you need to learn to cope with them - find examples, evidence of why everything is possible - stories of successful people, a list of achievements and skills that will help you start winning and realize your intended achievements.
Write down excuses and reasons for failure
Analyze, understand their inconsistency, groundlessness. In life, everything is possible: status, age, gender play a very small role, success depends to a large extent on confidence, striving for heights, there are examples of actors of short stature (Denny deVito is 150 cm, and Mike Jordan is 180, which is not enough for a basketball player) .
Awareness
Inner fear is the cause of all failures and misfortunes, only a person himself can change his life, believe in a dream, give it a chance to become a reality, you need to take control of life.
Change your attitude towards problems
This is a natural phenomenon on the path of life, only people who have said goodbye to life have no difficulties, you need to be prepared for the challenges of fate, and the scale of the problems speaks of the scale of thinking and the grandeur of plans, petty issues are not worth it at all a lot of attention. Problems are a stimulus to action, a challenge, they need to be solved, ways and means of solution must be looked for, and worries should be put aside.
You need to learn to see opportunities where others see problems.
Even if you are in a difficult financial situation or experiencing health difficulties, there is various ways attitude to the situation - someone will give up, recognize themselves as a failure, someone will open a second wind, be able to implement new plans, change their worldview.
You need to learn to see the opportunities hidden behind problems.
Banish fear of changes in life
At any difficult situation It is important to learn to tell yourself - “I forget about everything, I go towards the goal.” Only a huge desire forward can help you achieve what you want; the main thing is to move forward, even in small steps.
Great aspirations - great achievements
It is important to learn to think in big categories and not be afraid high aspirations, this is better than remaining mediocre all your life, afraid to stand out from the crowd. By allowing ourselves big dreams, we open up new horizons, force the subconscious to work at full capacity in search of a way to realize what we have planned.
Goals should be written on paper
You need to learn how to formulate goals, write them down, specify them - desire, deadline, indicators of success. The next task: find ways to achieve your goal, write a work plan, constantly follow the indicated path, start winning.
There must be many goals
In the diary of the future there is a place for different goals, desires, ideas - even the craziest and unrealistic ones initially, gradually conquering the heights of life, the time will come for difficult tasks, and the person will be mentally ready for their implementation. The main difficulty is that people are afraid to want much from life, they are afraid to dream, to strive for difficult things, for high goals.
Keep your wishes to yourself
Only the closest people can understand high goals, ideas, most people like to criticize others, although they themselves are losers in life, have achieved nothing and do not strive. The best way to prove that you are right - to carry out your plans and reap the fruits of your labors, observe the surprised faces of those around you and listen to laudatory reviews. Every achievement is a victory over oneself, reality, and the difficulties of life.
Determining your purpose in life
The mission of life is the basis. which motivates a person and helps him achieve what he needs. Destination gives the answer to the question: why do we live in this world? Each person has his own vision, an idea of the mission, usually it is associated with serving people, finding ways to improve the world, relationships, and the lives of others.
Concentration on the goal
Having defined your desire and clearly defined it, you need to learn to direct all your attention, effort, and will to the result, without being scattered on doubts and minor issues. Only great determination allows you to move mountains, create miracles, and reach incredible heights.
Visualization and procedure
- breathing exercises - you need to learn to breathe correctly (deeply and calmly). The exercises are performed in a sitting position, completely relaxing the muscles of the body, breathing is very slow, filling the entire body with energy with each breath, while positive attitudes are pronounced: “I am completely relaxed, I am absolutely confident in myself”;
- inner vision - we learn to imagine the desired pictures in our imagination. To do this, mentally play out a performance where the person himself is the main characters and sees his dreams come true on stage, and later in the form of a movie. The third stage is not only to observe, but to become the hero of the film, merge with the character, feel all the emotions of a new imaginary life;
- past experience, we mentally turn to our internal library with a request for future goals; perhaps in the past there is the necessary information, acquaintances that will help in the implementation of plans;
- replacing unpleasant memories - often failures in the past cause fear and uncertainty in the future, preventing you from achieving success. To solve this issue, they use the method of replacing the past; you need to correct the memories, replacing them with successful and joyful pictures. This is possible thanks to the technique of visualization, reproducing past experiences, searching for the causes and roots of all problems.
Now there is even a second birth technique
It allows you to remember your life from the moment of birth, free yourself from fears and negativity of the past, however, it is quite difficult to carry out such a session on your own; it is recommended to use the support of specialists;
- use your senses - when drawing pictures of your future life, you need to use all five senses for full sensations in order to be imbued with ideas and emotions. These should be: smell, taste, color, tactile perception, based on capabilities. The more feelings are involved, the more real the picture will be, and the subconscious will remember emotions, sensations, and help reproduce what is desired in the future;
- the end result - it is important to pay attention to the result where you are striving (position, medal, car, etc.) You can start winning by imagining what exactly you need to get, clearly understanding the goal and desired result;
- conclusion - it is important to complete the visualization each time with one phrase: “Everything will be one way and no other, everything is in my hands” or “thank you, Lord, that you are with me and helping me to fulfill all my aspirations.” Choose what is closest to your soul.
The power of suggestion
Enormous power lives in the person himself, it is important to open the inner potential, it helps to believe in this self-hypnosis, attitudes that are often pronounced before important meetings and fights. For example, the aspiring boxer Cassius Clay claimed: “I am the greatest boxer,” at first they made fun of him, and then he became the greatest boxer, and the words became reality. You should never belittle your merits; deep down you need to believe and exalt your future achievements.
Avoiding Negative Thinking
A person mentally programs himself for a certain result; any statement gives results, both positive and negative. You need to learn to look for the positive in life, to see the light even in the darkness.
Faith
In life, anything a person can believe in can be achieved. And self-confidence - necessary condition in any matter. Affirmations can be pronounced alone, maintaining self-confidence, written down on paper, stated in the presence of friends, society. This is an even greater responsibility, there will be nowhere to retreat, only forward!
The main thing is not to say: “I’ll try to do it,” but to repeat: “I’ll do it, I can do it.”
Remind yourself: “You are a genius, unique!” And remember: by repeating something 10 thousand times, you can create a mantra - a phrase that has an amazing effect on your life.
Set up for success
Maintain your confidence and good mood, smile at the reflection in the mirror in the morning, say that “today is a wonderful day, you look great, everything will be great!”, or “I am a winner, champion, handsome.” You can start winning only with confidence in your future victory.
Support those around you
By helping others believe in themselves, you also become stronger, it’s so nice to make the world a better place, and support is often needed by loved ones, all people are unique, just not everyone knows it.
Balance in life
There are several important areas in our lives that need to be brought into harmony in order to feel success in life (family, finances, emotions, spiritual, mental development). You should always look for an opportunity to devote time to all areas of life; imbalances lead to imbalance and a feeling of unhappiness.
Love
To achieve success in life, a person needs love, understanding, care, and support. And to obtain such a valuable resource in life, you need to learn to give love to others, to your family and friends, to say pleasant words more often, to hug, and to write pleasant things.
Why don't high achievers succeed in life?
The eternal question: is it necessary to do well in school? How often do we come across situations where excellent students cannot succeed in life, those who show great promise occupy ordinary ordinary positions, and those who cheated become company leaders, large and successful businessmen. What's the secret?
Years later, the realization comes that studying at school was not worth the effort and wasted nerve cells, because it is not a guarantee of success. And how many hopes were associated with education...
Psychologists have identified the main reasons for the success of C students, which help them start winning:
- Having intelligence, they can always find a way out of a situation and adapt to life.
- They clearly understand their aspirations, devote more time to subjects that they like and will be useful in the future.
- Sociability - easily negotiate with people, make new acquaintances.
- They are confident in themselves - they are not characterized by reflection, complexes, they can calmly express their point of view, defend life position, concentrate on their interests.
- They set the bar high - they usually strive for more comfortable life, they come to the realization that only the business sector can earn big money; this is impossible in hired work.
- Work experience - they often have more experience in real work than theoretical knowledge, combine work with study, are more adapted to life, and are ready for difficulties and challenges.
- They know how to distribute tasks - they learned from school: the main thing is to find a person who will solve the problem, they have advice from specialists who help create a business. At the same time, they themselves may not even have higher education, for example, Henry Ford is the owner of a large automobile company.
Thus, we understand: for success in life, you need not only knowledge, but also special character qualities - perseverance, the ability to find solutions, adapt, sociability, courage, leadership qualities, speed of reactions, the desire to be on the wave with modern world, knowledge of new and useful things, the ability to find good specialists to the team.
There are people who initially have the necessary properties, but you can acquire skills and knowledge in the process of life, learn to be a leader, a leader, take responsibility for your life, and make important decisions. It all depends on the person - you need to set a goal and develop the character traits necessary to achieve it, comparing yourself with other successful people. You can start winning by acquiring new skills and changing your worldview.
The main problem of excellent students is the desire to always be the best, a certain complex - you need to be liked by everyone, receive positive assessments, a desire to embrace the immensity, but in life you need to be yourself, find your purpose, move forward, regardless of the opinions of others.
Born to win
You can start winning by understanding why some people are born to win and others are born to lose? What are the main differences - fate, character, psychological attitude?
Born to win, successful people are characterized by the following characteristics:
- The main feature is the desire not only for results, but desire live your own life, to be an authentic person.
- Independence of views and judgment, the ability to make decisions independently, can work and live independently of others, without experiencing discomfort.
- People of Action, and not fantasies, it is important to learn to go in the direction of your dreams, and not just talk about a wonderful future, without doing anything to make changes in life.
- Independence- are used to taking responsibility for their actions, making decisions and acting without relying on anyone.
- Believe in yourself- this property helps winners to always stay afloat, even in moments of failure, they remember that they deserve the best and are looking for ways to change the situation, improve, and achieve better results in various areas.
- Positive attitude towards yourself- winners will never become poor, playing the role of a helpless person; they tend to be independently responsible for life and take an active life position.
- Attention to time use- now we often hear the expression time management; a whole science has been created to help people save time. Winners always rationally distribute and use time resources, they know when to work, relax, and spend time with their family.
There are many important areas in life, and finding time for everything is quite a difficult task; the main thing is not to waste precious time, look for ways to rationally distribute it.
- Immediacy- winning people can calmly express thoughts, feelings, emotions, and be open to the world and communication. They know how to enjoy life - nature, friends, loved ones, success in work, are always ready to support others in their endeavors, and share happiness without envy. Openness and honesty in emotions, words, actions.
9.Discipline- winners know how to control themselves, their work, defer pleasure for a certain period of time if necessary, and always follow their plans and actions.
- Social activity- the winning person is always interested social issues, problems, strives to improve the world around us.
Understanding the characteristics of the winners, it is easy to understand the difficulties of the losers
- lose their sense of time - live in past memories or worry about the future;
- tend to feel sorry for themselves, look for reasons for failures in external factors, bad luck, cannot take responsibility for life;
- waiting for a miracle and a gift of fate instead of action;
- they follow the path of suffering - they are accustomed to playing the role of those in need, it is difficult to change their attitude towards life;
- inability to trust people, build honest relationships, prone to manipulation;
- underutilization potential - thinking and mental abilities are aimed at searching for pretexts that impede development, instead of searching for opportunities, ways to change life, situations;
- the absurdity of life - they independently drive themselves into boundaries and limitations, depriving them of the opportunity to develop and thrive.
Start winning, perhaps, thanks to internal changes, personality transformation, searching for ways to change the internal attitude towards oneself and the surrounding reality. Similar changes can be made using the techniques of self-hypnosis, meditation, and visualization. The main thing is awareness: only man himself is the master of life, bears responsibility for his present and future.
Every day brings us closer or further from our goals, depending on the thoughts and actions taken or absent in life. It is worth starting with small achievements, developing self-confidence and approaching high horizons and global goals.
We wish everyone to start winning and achieving wonderful results in life!
Without losing you will never enjoy true victory.
I completely agree - to win, you need to lose at least once and be able to cope with this loss with dignity.
All life is a game
In life, as in any sport, there are victories and defeats. Everyone plays, some win, some lose. That's not what's important!
“What then?” - you ask. After all, we play only for one thing, for the result of the game.” But NO, I tell you! We play for the sake of the game, we live for the sake of life, for the sake of the process itself in which everyone realizes their potential.
We don't live to die! Is it true? We live to live! Often working only for the sake of the result, we miss the most important thing: what the process of achieving this result can give us.
We miss out on the growth and development of strong personal qualities!
When we focus on winning rather than on the process, our defeat is very close.
I like the phrase: “Everything is good in moderation!”
It applies to any area of life. If you go too far or too far, you won't get the desired result.
This is the case with both victory and defeat. It's important to focus on winning in moderation. Enjoy the process in moderation. Worry about defeats in moderation!
It’s better not to worry at all!
DEFEAT – to worry or not?
If you put in all your strength, knowledge and effort before losing, but still lost, don’t worry. In any case, you gained tremendous experience, wisdom and became stronger and better.
You must love every defeat! Be grateful for every defeat! Respect every mistake you make!
Life is a school of growth and development! Every defeat is a new step towards your perfection! Each defeat carries experience, wisdom, strength and knowledge.
And if you lost today, it means that you simply haven’t fully learned the lesson yet, you’re still poorly prepared, and you need to continue working in this direction!
If you treat defeats philosophically, you will easily learn not only to take positives out of them for yourself, but also to win more often.
VICTORY – fortune or hard work? 
To win, you must have a passion for victory, knowledge of the matter and action towards the goal! Then victory will be very close!
It's rare that someone wins just because of luck. Rarely does anyone win because he has such genes or destiny, as we used to say.
Only at first glance it may seem that victory is luck, success, fortune or something else like that. But that's not true! Victory is always will, passion, burning desire, faith and hard work. The winner's main work is not visible. She's inside. Because before you defeat your opponent, you need to defeat yourself.
Victory over oneself, in my opinion, is the most significant victory in our lives! It's hard to get yourself off the couch and do something useful when you really want to lie down. It's hard to stay an hour late at work and perfect the work you're doing when you have to rush to the movies. It's hard to be grateful, give in, and forgive when you're being rude and disrespected. It’s hard not to be lazy and act when your strength is running out and you really want to rest and put everything off until “LATER.” It's hard to start right now when the start of a new life is postponed until Monday or tomorrow.
BUT WITHOUT THIS VICTORY IS IMPOSSIBLE!
What are we born for? Many of us never move beyond our fears, worries, erroneous beliefs and limiting beliefs. But if you managed to advance, then you have already won. Defeated yourself!
Now your task is to play with opponents stronger than yourself! There is no point in playing with a weak opponent - the game will not bring you growth and movement. And without movement there is no life!
There is no point in achieving a goal for which you don't need to do anything. Brian Tracy in his book “Achieving Your Maximum” writes: “A goal that does not require overcoming obstacles is NOT A GOAL!”
There are a lot of people around who have achieved their goal and don’t know what to do next with it. They don't set new goals. It's the same in communication. By communicating mainly with people who do not promote you or admire you, you will not get far.
There is no point in living only for evenings in front of the TV and weekends at the dacha. But it makes sense to live for yourself, while benefiting other people. Inspiring others to great achievements, to live in joy and happiness! Find people who can inspire and be useful to you. And those people who can benefit from you. 
Ask yourself: what am I living for? What benefit do I bring to people?
To learn how to win and lose, start with your thoughts and raise inner strength. Do what is hard for you to do, learn to do what you don’t know how to do. Set high goals, the achievement of which will make you a different person!
Take risks! If you win, you will be happy, if you lose, you will be wise!
Believe in your dream and devote all your strength and knowledge to achieving it. When you reach the finish line, you will have something to praise yourself for!
Set yourself big goals- it’s harder to miss them!
Where does your passion for tennis begin? In my opinion, with a great desire to learn how to play. And you have such a desire. You purchase a racket, a uniform, and become familiar with the basic rules of the game. But you are tormented by the question: “ Will it work?“Personally, I have no doubt that every person is able to master basic tennis strokes in a short time and, within a few months regular classes, even start playing on the score.
Depending on their age, each student approaches the learning process in their own way. For example, a child most often perceives it best when the trainer simply imitates the movements and, as a rule, loses interest during lengthy explanations. Usually, having not yet secured any technical element, they are looking forward to a new task. Adults are divided into two categories. Some who are determined to play tennis seriously and for a long time. They are more patient, prefer detailed, intelligible explanations, try to obtain additional information from literature, want to “feel” this or that movement and often express a desire to first master one skill and then move on to the next. Others, who perceive tennis as a pleasant pastime, without having mastered the basic technical skills, try to move on to counting games as quickly as possible.
For adult beginners, it is much more important to know why and why this or that movement is performed than and how to play. And knowing the main features and basic principles of performing the corresponding movements, you can independently understand the intricacies and details of various strokes, find your own style and manner of play.
Quite a lot of beginners mistakenly think that it is enough just to play with people like them, and success will come on its own. But that's not true. Beginners should initially hit light balls with sufficient time and from comfortable positions. This is only possible when working with a trainer. Two beginners playing with each other will never teach each other, even if they are well prepared theoretically.
Therefore, a novice tennis player needs to decide: either train to improve, receiving physical and mental satisfaction from this and this should become an end in itself, or just run around the court to lose weight and brag to friends that free time spends on the tennis court.
After gaining some confidence in making shots without first moving around the court (first stage), it’s time to master the technical techniques of the game, when the ball flies with different trajectories (height, depth), speed and in different directions. To do this, you need to learn how to move correctly on the court, use one or another grip of the racket, and vary the force of the blow depending on your position on the court.
The next stage of training is related to the accuracy of placement of strikes (strikes “in place”), variations in the trajectory of the ball and its rotation. At this stage, shock stability is acquired. And stability appears when the acquired skills are brought to automatism, i.e. stuck in “muscle memory”.
There is little to compare with the feeling you experience when the ball is completely subordinate to your will and flies exactly where you send it!
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Regardless of your playing experience, do not miss the opportunity to watch television broadcasts of tennis matches. And not only to enjoy the game and cheer for your idol, but also for the purpose of independently analyzing both the technical and tactical actions of world-class players. First of all, it is advisable for you to focus your attention on their swing, the post-impact phase of the arm movement, footwork, body position, try to understand why they chose this particular shot and the direction of the ball, how they predict the next shot of the opponent. Try to highlight the combinations they have played in their game. |
I have repeatedly noticed how many athletes and amateurs, after watching tennis matches of professionals, inspired by what they saw, tried to reproduce what they noticed the first time they entered the court. After all, it has been proven that for most people, careful perception of visual video information leads to fairly effective subconscious learning. But you shouldn’t blindly copy the technique of your idols. It has many individual characteristics.
Progress in the game directly depends on the frequency, content of training and dedication to it. If your hobby is limited to playing one set each time or an hour-long exchange, during which no effort is made to improve your level of play, this indicates a lack of persistence in achieving your goal - to become a strong player.
The optimal frequency is: two to three hour training sessions per week with a coach and the same amount with a club partner with whom you will play for a score.
I note that most players in the training process, most often, only want to have an equal or stronger sparring partner and do not take into account that such an opponent will not allow them to work on their weaknesses. Playing with a strong sparring partner, of course, you will have the opportunity to hone your skills in difficult game situations, but at the same time you will not get the practice of winning a point in a simple situation. At amateur tournaments, you often see how a more prepared tennis player loses to a “weaker” player, only because he made mistakes many times when hitting a light ball. Therefore, for training, do not ignore weak partners.
In the training process, of course, you will have periods when the game does not improve and may even worsen. This happens when technology is being restructured. This is especially true when changing the grip of the racket. But even if you want to improve your hitting technique without changing your racket grip, then even in this case it is possible to pause in improving your level of play. And here there is a choice. Either cope with a temporary delay in the growth of skill in order to then make progress, or practically “tread water” due to the abundance of errors associated with technical flaws.
But remember, when you and your coach strive to improve your game, don't expect people around you to be surprised by your progress two weeks later. It may take several months before progress is seen.
Why do some people, regardless of age and duration of their passion for tennis, suddenly give it up? One of the reasons for this is lack of confidence in one's own abilities. If you decide to “finish” for this reason, then remember the saying of preferenceists: “ A card is not a horse - you'll be lucky in the morning"The same in tennis, show maximum patience, perseverance, diligence and you will improve your game, fall in love with tennis again and continue to actively engage in it.
Another circumstance may be the loss of gaming skills due to the absence of a partner. In this case, a training wall can become your equivalent counterpart, and you will not only not lose your playing skills, but will also be able to successfully hone your skills.
Now let's try to figure out how to learn to win?
Very often during tournaments you can observe how one tennis player plays a combination game, while the other plays thoughtlessly, like a machine, relying on chance. A tennis player who wants to make progress in his game must be aware of why he is performing this or that shot, and not be content with just throwing the ball monotonously, even at a high tempo. Therefore, that is, in order to learn to win, you need to understand that the meaningfulness of performing a strike is primary, and the technique of its execution is secondary.
The first task in mastering the principles of successful sports wrestling is to decide as quickly as possible, based on the immediate game situation, the direction, strength and type of blow. Therefore, execute your strikes with some intent and strive to ensure that your tactical choice is justified. And, besides, after each effective blow you perform, do not stop to watch how your opponent is trying to get him, but immediately think about how he is able to respond and decide on your new tactical move. No wonder they say: " Tennis is chess in motion " (You can see other tennis aphorisms).
Therefore, the second task is to learn to anticipate possible attacks from your opponent in order to have time to prepare for a retaliatory strike and deliver it in the most suitable conditions. The fact is that the speed of the ball reaches 180-200 km/h, and even more when serving from men. This is 50-55 m/sec, which means that the ball flies across the court (the length of which is 23.77 m) in 0.5 seconds, and playing at the net reduces this time by more than half. In addition, the average player's reaction to the ball is estimated at 0.25 seconds. I would like to draw your attention to the fact that by the time the racket contacts the ball, the striking movement itself has already formed, and changing it, due to lack of time, is almost impossible (the ball interacts with the string surface of the racket for only 0.007-0.014 seconds and during this time the racket is moved forward 10−15 cm). Because of this, the tennis player must try to calculate in advance possible options actions of the opponent, the trajectory and direction of flight of his ball and perform the necessary preliminary actions.
Sharpening your visual and auditory perception happening on the court. Why auditory? Because by the sound of the interaction of the string surface with the ball, it is possible, for example, to predict the force of the impact and the degree of rotation of the ball. Or if strong blows the opponent is accompanied by a scream, then when he performs a shortened strike, you will not hear anything from him.
The third task involves learning to control your own thoughts and feelings, both during training and during competitions. This should be as important for you as the correct acquisition of technical skills and understanding of game tactics. Remember that your thoughts and emotions should be one of the main components in the successful implementation of your goals, but if you lose control over them, then your desires and zeal will be nullified. For this, you will find the material presented in the “Psychology of Tennis” section very useful.
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When playing against a stronger opponent, you can win if you make much fewer unforced errors. Therefore, play simpler, without risk, do not try to hit and play to his skill level. Your task is to keep the ball in play longer by using your most reliable shots. Play the ball deep and cross it often. Your persistent defensive actions will irritate your opponent, and he will begin to take risks, which will lead to an increase in unforced errors on his part. If you are up against a tennis player of approximately the same level, then play in your own style of play. To achieve victory, first of all, minimize your tactical mistakes. When exchanging deep blows, do not try to be the first to escalate the game, wait for an opportunity to start putting pressure on your opponent or attacking. Don’t try to show him and the audience your technical superiority through spectacular blows. Remember the axiom: " Victory is brought not by spectacular blows, but by effective ones". It happens that the opponent who is lower in rating wins. And everything is explained not by the fact that the loser played poorly or in general “it was not his day,” but by the fact that the opponent’s playing style was not convenient. In such cases, you need to look for such a game, perhaps not even typical, but acceptable for you, which will be a successful counteraction to the opponent’s game and will bring a positive result. Another reason for losing to a weaker opponent could be your relaxation and switch to a slower pace of play, thereby lowering yourself to your opponent’s level. As a result, the usual rhythm of striking movements is disrupted and simple mistakes begin to be made. One common miscalculation is trying to rush things by trying to win points with the first or second shot without the necessary concentration, which again leads to frequent unforced errors. In order to win without any problems against a weaker opponent, first of all, you need to play the game at your usual pace, periodically speeding it up. Apply constant pressure, but attack without being too hasty or risky. Don't lose control of the ball. When you “kill” easy balls, force yourself to concentrate even more than in other game situations. |
And finally. The higher you climb the hierarchy, the more you must pay attention to the relationship between tennis intelligence, technique and psychology.
