You will need determination in order for the interviewer to answer your questions.

Be prepared for:

– the fact that the interviewer will ignore a number of questions or refuse to answer them;

– the fact that the interviewer will expect questions from you and will remain dissatisfied if you don’t ask them.

This may not be useful if you are always active and always ask a lot.

At least two people are needed to communicate. The very concept of “interview” implies a two-way conversation. The purpose of an interview is for employers to get to know you and for you to learn more about your future job. After all, you probably don’t know everything about your future rights and responsibilities. Don’t be shy, ask, the main thing is that you know what and where you are going.

1. Discuss your position in the chain of command. Find out who exactly will be your immediate superiors and subordinates. This is to clarify your responsibilities.

2. Discuss the availability of a social package. Typically this should include:

– sick pay;

– payment annual leave;

– payment for parental leave;

– maternity payments.

Sometimes in private companies the social package is partially paid. Weigh what exactly you need from a job and ask questions based on your own interests.

3. The structure of the work week also needs to be discussed. Weekends, holidays - all this must be known in advance so as not to be unpleasantly surprised later when on duty on a day off.

4. It is important to find out how the accrual is carried out wages. There is a significant difference here due to where exactly you go to work. If you take a government job, you will depend on a salary, but in private firms, work is often paid on a percentage basis.

OK it's all over Now important questions, which can be set. Of course, you also need to know about the company, but this is part of the interviewer’s normal conversation style. In addition to introducing himself, he also talks about the company.

What can't you ask?

1. Never ask about your interlocutor’s salary. This is a very personal question. Believe me, even if they answer you, neither the question nor the answer will bring you any benefit. After all, you will be doing a completely different job, therefore, the salary will be different.

2. It is also irrelevant to ask about the details of your future job. The interviewer may simply not understand you. His job is to collect and transmit information, but not to provide information about the narrow specifics of production. Most likely, if you get a job a rare profession, the employer will communicate with you directly.

3. Do not ask about a former employee who worked in this position before you. Even if his person is mentioned by the interviewer, do not fix your attention on this point. You should not be interested in how, for what and under what circumstances your predecessor was fired or left. You will learn all this later.

4. You should not ask about the character of the future boss. No one will tell you the truth anyway, but it’s quite possible to earn a reputation as a gossip.

5. Also, during the interview, there is no need to be interested in the peculiarities of relationships in the team. By asking such a question, you not only show your concern, but also take on a slightly sanctimonious attitude. You can ask all these questions after hiring. Getting a job and establishing relationships with your team are two different things.

6. It is impolite to ask the age of your interlocutor. Even if this question is asked briefly, an unpleasant aftertaste will still remain. This is a personal question, with it you violate the interviewer’s intimate zone and break the image that he created.

When asking questions, stick to the basic line of behavior. The tone you use should be non-aggressive. The construction of the question must be kept in a polite form. If the interview is of a business nature, limit yourself to the points that we discussed earlier. But if you're lucky and the conversation becomes personal, you should take advantage of it.

What can you ask?

1. To set a person on a friendly tone, ask about the features of his work. It is quite possible that instead of a dry answer you will hear a lengthy explanation. The interlocutor will speak out and think that you are a wonderful listener and generally a pleasant person. But we warn you - all these questions should come after demonstrating your professional qualities and important questions.

2. It's helpful to ask about your chances compared to other applicants. Your interlocutor may well give you an assessment of your resume and behavior. Even if you don’t want to work for some reason, at least you will find out how people perceive you.

3. You definitely need to find out if business trips are likely. After all, you should immediately know what you are getting into. Perhaps the work schedule will not be compatible with your family circumstances, and without discussing this you will find yourself in the wrong place.

4. For the same reasons, the question of overtime should be asked.

There are a few more cases to consider.

Should you ask questions when talking with an employer? Of course, ask. This is such a good chance to find out everything you need first hand. By asking questions, you will not only show interest in this position, but will also be able to show your professionalism. To do this, use professional terms in your questions, clearly specify the purpose of the question and monitor the accuracy of the wording. Eye contact is important. Let the interlocutor understand that you respect him, but you will not be servile, because you know the value of your qualifications.

During a group interview, not only you, but also other candidates will ask questions. In this case, the one who asks more questions may be viewed with caution and the less talkative candidate may be chosen. But you need to ask questions, so our advice is to ask only the most important questions. And be careful not to repeat yourself, otherwise you will look stupid. And you can attract attention by being diplomatic and polite in your behavior. If you want to ask a question, try to draw the interviewers' attention to yourself first. This can be achieved by raising your hand or saying "May I..." or "Excuse me, may I ask...?" At the same time, do not hide your eyes and maintain an open posture.

When talking with a psychologist, in order to create a warm atmosphere, you can ask several questions about what the conversation is for, what it might entail, etc. When asking, do not show concern, but speak with a smile. This manifestation of curiosity will force the psychologist to look at you a little more closely and try to understand the full versatility of your “I”.

When testing for professional aptitude, try not to ask questions unless you find some error or inconsistency. Excessive talkativeness can play a fatal role in assessing your qualities. Separate professionalism from everything unnecessary, especially from words that carry very strong emotional values. But you can comment on the interviewer’s questions.

Asking questions is one of the points in demonstrating your activity. This is just as important as answering your interlocutor's questions. Don’t forget that questions can change the course of the interview and direct the conversation in the right direction. But also remember that bombarding you with questions may cause you to be seen as intrusive, abstruse, and overly cautious. Therefore, you must choose the form of the question and its relevance. Observe the reaction of your interlocutor when choosing an approach to him. Although, even if the interviewer likes you, do not overwhelm him with questions if you are afraid of disrupting the planned course of the interview.

Purposefulness and active life position

You will need:

– desire to get a job;

- Purposefulness itself.

Be prepared for:

– the fact that determination and activity are often perceived as careerism;

– the fact that initiative is not welcomed in organizations with strict vertical power.

This may not be useful if you do not have a personal interview.

If you are determined to get this job, you need to try to show it.

Give clearly defined answers. You need to answer specifically, but not dryly. Substantiate your claims. For example, to the question “Why do you want to work for us?” you need to answer clearly that it is very suitable for the implementation of your plans. Don't forget, interview time is limited. To show your confidence and determination, show these qualities when answering and asking questions.

Emphasize your professional level. If there is a pause, you can use it for self-promotion. Add something to the answers to the previous questions, insert something about positive plans for the upcoming position. But don't boast about your successes.

Show that you are exactly who is needed. Talk about your previous works without unnecessary emotions. Avoid any hint of regret or judgment in your conversations. There should be optimism in your voice.

Initiative will not be superfluous. Don't be afraid to engage in conversation. Even if there was no question, try to continue the topic and speak, as if anticipating questions. After all, if such silence is allowed, it shows the lack of professionalism of the interviewer. You have come to show your abilities, and nothing should stop you from looking good.

Use confident phrases. Avoid using phrases such as “maybe”, “if only”, “someday”, “not sure”. When talking about the future, replace them with more confident ones “in the near future”, “in my plans”, “my opinion”, “I will”. This way you will come across as a person who knows exactly what he wants.

Determination is movement towards a clearly defined goal. IN in this case your goal is work. Therefore, it is important if, when talking about professional topics, you show determination in your external manifestations.

Non-passive behavior. Don't let anyone interrupt you, apologize and move on. In order for the picture of your qualities to be complete, you need to have time to say everything you have prepared. Some interviewers deliberately interrupt to see your reaction.

In almost all areas, determination borders on responsibility. These qualities are highly valued for professions in the non-production and production sectors, since this work involves the implementation of a specific plan.

But the active one life position allows you to immediately show your ability to find mutual language with people completely different in character and temperament.

For the education sector, activity is one of those qualities that will be welcomed. This is an indicator that you will not only stick to the plan, but also actively expand its boundaries. For example, the creation of optional clubs by a teacher is a plan. And attracting students to them by creating interest is an active life position.

For the field of creative activity, indicators of your activity will be creative thinking and original approaches to solving problems. And passivity will be noticeable if you do not take initiative in the conversation, do not complement the interlocutor and ask questions.

For the production sector, your determination and activity will be important. The first will help to complete the planned amount of work, and the second will help to exceed it. Therefore, demonstrating these qualities is simply necessary.

But for the service sector, we advise you not to be so active. It is assumed that you will act according to the plan of your superiors, and the leader’s excessive manners can lead to the idea that you are one of the “flyers” who very often change jobs precisely because of unfulfilled personal plans.

If you are by nature active person, it will not be difficult for you to produce good impression.

But if you are not confident in yourself, you will still have to tune in to the conversation even before the interview.

First of all, prove to yourself that you need this, this is your goal. Remember why you decided to take this job in the first place. Perhaps this will spur you to become more active.

Remember, self-confidence is the key to success. Highlight as many of your positive qualities as possible. This way you can create a counterbalance to the shortcomings. For example, if you have no work experience, then you need to emphasize to the interviewer that you are trainable and can quickly learn new information.

There's nothing you can't do. This refers to the specificity future profession. You must say that there is nothing difficult in your future work, not because you judge it easily, but because you make an effort to keep up and do everything.

Ideally, you will get a strong-willed, decisive, purposeful and active image, moreover, friendly and sociable. Now you need to remember that you are not going for a month, a year or two. Work should be constant, stable, and the entire routine of your life depends on it. You need to decide a lot for yourself, determine what you are ready for in order to fit the position you occupy. Think about your future responsibilities and rights, and if you are an active person (or want to appear so), then, in addition to the answers, you should discuss some questions.

The magic of a smile

You will need:

– ability and willingness to smile;

– a mirror and friends ready to evaluate your smile.

Be prepared for:

– the fact that a smile will not cause any response;

– that you will be remembered as an open and cheerful person;

– the interviewer may think that you are laughing at him.

– the work requires a serious attitude;

– the atmosphere will be strict and obviously very official.

In an interview, the most important thing is the impression you make on the interviewer. Therefore, it’s time to talk about how to behave when meeting and further communicating with your interlocutor.

The first thing you should pay attention to is the smile.

Why is a smile needed? A smile is a sure way to demonstrate your friendliness and openness. A person who smiles is more likely to be liked and evokes positive emotions. Therefore, you need to smile, and it will be easier for your interlocutor to tune in to easier and warmer communication.

General tips. You should smile before you even enter the office. Remember something good, kind, bright from your life. Not funny, but kind. Maybe a memory of a long-awaited gift will emerge from childhood. Or remember how you were given flowers. In general, you need to recharge yourself with the emotions that you experienced then. And your smile will be addressed primarily to yourself. Believe me, it will transform your face and give the desired effect when meeting the interviewer.

Say hello when you enter. It doesn't matter how many employees will be sitting in the office. Introduce yourself and explain why you have come. After this, a person will be determined who will work directly with you. Go to his desk and say hello to him specifically again. After your interlocutor introduces himself, smile and say “It’s a pleasure.”

The charm of a smile is that the interlocutor perceives it as his personal merit. This way you will set the tone of communication in a polite manner, and it will be easier for your interlocutor to start his work. The same line of behavior is not suitable for all situations, and it is impossible to single out just one smile for all cases during an interview. It is necessary to discuss several types of it, depending on the scope of your intended work.

Service industry (salespeople, consultants, hairdressers, waiters, bartenders, etc.). Almost all professions in this area include the ability to smooth out conflicts, attract a buyer or client, and persuade them to accept a service (for example, to purchase a paid warranty for a product). In this way, close contact with people is achieved. Therefore, your appearance directly affects the quality of your work. It follows that the interviewer wants to see a non-conflict, sociable person. To fit into his ideal, take our advice: the smile should be attractive, with a touch of charm, inviting, and unobtrusive. Therefore, be sure to show your ability to please using simple ways.

1. Smile after each answer, half-smile, without moving your lips.

2. Be sure to separate the smile from the words. You need to show your professional suitability, not your ridiculousness.

3. Smile, if you meet eyes, also with a half smile.

4. Avoid American smiles with all thirty-two teeth; this is more suitable for other areas of activity (models, for example).

Office services (managers, realtors, operators, etc.)

A blooming smile is welcomed in this area; your future colleagues should be infected with energy from it. So, bloom to your health, smile, showing your teeth, and push the corners of your lips apart more strongly than in the first case.

Your smile should be open, energetic, with shades of confidence and efficiency.

Your interviewer needs to see a confident person, so the most important thing is not to go too far and not seem ridiculous. That's why:

– try to smile when starting to answer a question, remove the smile after the first words;

– when looking eye to eye, show a blooming smile;

– for serious questions, give answers without smiling, but be sure to smile after difficult ones, this way you will demonstrate self-confidence.

Non-production sphere (accountants, research fellows etc.).

Professions in this field do not involve close communication with potential clients. When interviewing for a position in this area, you should know that your skills will be assessed here. professional quality. Therefore, after a general greeting, you should remember our advice: the smile should be a little dry and restrained. Of course, you shouldn't look like a cracker, but if the interviewer notices that you're smiling too much, it may make him think that you don't fit the appearance of an accountant. That's why:

– maintain a polite smile;

– do not smile when asking questions on a professional topic;

– hold back your smile so that the interlocutor notices it, he will appreciate your efforts to impress.

Production sector (any professions related to the production of something).

When interviewing, you definitely need to demonstrate your ability to connect with people. After all, most likely you will work in a team (and not a small one). For this vacancy, the interviewer expects to hire a non-conflict, soft-spoken person.

Our advice is this: the smile should be friendly, open, balanced, simple. You should remember general councils, they are most suitable for this situation. But your whole appearance should speak of a non-aggressive position.

1. The more often you have a half-smile on your face, the better (but know when to stop!).

2. If the questions are of a personal nature, you can answer with humor (a little).

3. Put all answers in quotation marks with a smile (smile - answer - smile).

The sphere of education and the sphere of creativity.

Professions in these areas imply a certain approach to work. Therefore, it is important to remember the following: your professional qualities may not be seen behind your smiles.

The smile should be confident and charming, unobtrusive, without shades.

If you show too much smiling, you may be considered irresponsible, and your chances of getting a job will decrease.

The magic of a smile lies in its charm and timing.

Do not smile under any circumstances while filling out the questionnaire; this could be interpreted as a sign of superiority over the interviewer.

Do not smile while being tested; this may be perceived as a concomitant sign of deception and cunning.

A smile is not appropriate if the interlocutor is embarrassed in any way.

Do not move your lips sharply - this may indicate that your “friendly” smile is fake and forced.

When answering, you can smile at the first words of a sentence.

Sparkles in the eyes

You will need:

- good mood;

– cheerful, open look.

Be prepared for:

– there will be a window behind the interviewer, which will be very unpleasant for the eyes;

– because if you wear glasses, it will be difficult to use all the tips.

This may not be useful if:

– you are unwell and wear dark glasses even indoors;

– you prefer, for one reason or another, not to draw attention to your eyes.

As already mentioned, your eyes mirror your condition. In order to fully utilize the useful resources of the eyes, it is necessary to make the eyes speak.

You have to assure your interlocutor of the sincerity of your behavior. Therefore, do not be afraid to look into your eyes, you have nothing to hide.

A fresh, cheerful first glance is the very first positive quality that is taken into account during the first impression. This look will give you self-confidence, good rest, energy Have a good mood and energy breakfast. Tip: Don't eat a lot before an interview, otherwise you will look sleepy.

Attention in the eyes. When discussing issues, do not lose the thread of the conversation, do not lose value, but do not get distracted by trifles.

A chuckle in the eyes along with a half-smile will create the impression of an energetic person. The main thing is that your eyes sparkle with anticipation of a new job.

Understanding in a glance. Along with a nod of your head, as if confirming what you heard with your eyes. This will show your agreement.

The ability to demonstrate energy and optimism in a glance is not given to everyone. Learn to take advantage of the beauty and emotional richness of your eyes.

When you smile, your eyes should also smile. Otherwise, you will give the impression of prudence and a tense good mask.

When talking to the interviewer, look at his behavior. If he has his eyes hidden behind his glasses, you can't predict whether he will be willing to make eye contact with you.

In any case, try to look at the bridge of your interlocutor’s nose when answering. And if the answer is long, then look at the object in his hands. But under no circumstances do you run your eyes.

If you look into your eyes, don't squint. This gives your gaze a focused look and will scare off your interlocutor.

Staring is also unacceptable. It seems that you are just waiting for a mistake or embarrassment of your interlocutor.

Don't turn your eyes to the ceiling. If this makes it easier for you to remember something, it is better to close them for a moment. The same effect is achieved by looking at objects in front (on the table).

Don't blink too much. This usually happens from excitement, so breathe evenly and calm down.

Don't make eyes. This will not tell you anything about your professionalism and ability to restrain yourself.

Don't look away abruptly. This is a sign that something has touched or scared you.

The magic of your gaze is the ability to infect others with optimism and positivity. Even when discussing problematic issues, this view should not fade. For example, when asked about the reason for leaving your previous job, answer positively, with cheerfulness, even if terrible memories remain. Your attitude should be an indicator of your attitude towards your work.

The ability to restrain oneself is also important. If something in the appearance or behavior of the interlocutor makes you laugh, distract yourself from the documents. Under no circumstances allow sparks of laughter to dance in your eyes when the interviewer is embarrassed. Better continue to answer tactfully.

Don't allow mockery to appear in your eyes. The interlocutor will definitely take your opinion personally, and the atmosphere of the interview will be spoiled by his dissatisfaction.

Sparkles in the eyes always attract attention. This is an indicator of your intelligence, spontaneity and ability to survive in a team. Creative people perceive them as a sign of your exceptional nature. Reserved people perceive them as an indicator of optimism and cheerfulness. Psychologists and people well versed in human psychology perceive bright, expressive eyes as an indicator of intelligence level.

It’s worth thinking about whether, due to your character, you can look into the eyes to a stranger. Even if this is the case, your outlook should still be energetic and optimistic.

Advice: point it slightly behind the other person’s shoulder, then he will have a chance to notice your eyes and see your emotional coloring.

Advice: if something worries you, do not catch your eyes on everything that comes across on the horizon. Stop your attention on one thing and concentrate, but not for long.

Do not answer with your eyes fixed on any object. This gives your image a feeling of meaninglessness and abstraction.

Sometimes even soft and friendly people can have cold or very hard eyes. This happens due to the structure of the face or the color of the eyes. As a rule, black eyes confuse the interlocutor, and sky blue gives a certain coldness. Green eyes always seem sly, and if the shade is dark, then cruel. Therefore, in such cases, glasses can be used as an addition to the image and style. This is the best option for looking like a serious professional, and at the same time hiding a flaw. If you decide to follow the advice, remember that the glasses should never be sunglasses. Only the slightest change in the shade of the glass is allowed, preferably towards gray or blue, since these cool colors exclude frivolity and flirtatiousness. It is better to choose a thin, classic, metal frame.

And as an alternative to wearing glasses, you can suggest not to hypnotize the interlocutor, but to compensate for the lack of glances with smiles and gestures

How to determine what kind of look you have.

Ask your friends and acquaintances what they like about your game with their eyes and what they don’t. Often we look at ourselves in the mirror with one facial expression, and at other people with another, without realizing the difference. And our loved ones always know how to evaluate our views. Compare their opinions, choose a middle ground and convince yourself that your interlocutor is a very pleasant person. Accordingly, your behavior will change and you will be able to hide your shortcomings through friendliness and body language.

When talking, you can look: at the interlocutor’s lips, at his fingers, at documents, at the edge of the table, over the interlocutor’s shoulder, at his eyes, at the pen in his or her hands.

You can’t look: at your nails, at your interlocutor’s ears, out the window, at the ceiling, at nowhere.

Remember that it’s not just your eyes that will make a good impression, but your entire set of external manifestations of internal emotions. Everything must be balanced: postures, gestures, voice timbre, manner, sentence construction, and eye movements. All this is necessary to create the image of a person who confidently applies for a vacancy, who knows for sure that this job is exactly for him.

Calm and equanimity

You will need:

– endurance;

– several more interviews to gain experience.

Be prepared for:

– the fact that you will have to train for some time;

– the fact that you won’t be able to restrain yourself during a stressful interview.

This may not be useful if equanimity comes naturally to you.

It's not just about smiling that you need to know when to stop. Any emotion, even a positive one, can bring not only benefit, but also harm if it is pronounced and accompanied by excessive fussiness. At the first meeting, you need to give the impression of a calm and balanced person.

You have prepared for the interview and are in the mood for a conversation. But still, you may be nervous, expecting a trick in the question.

Advice: stop thinking about what hasn't happened yet; concentrate on your answers; Watch the construction of your sentences and the correctness of your speech.

This will take your mind off nervous guessing.

How can you express calm? Calm is a stable, balanced internal state when no emotion stands out from the others. And since the internal state always manifests itself externally, the interviewer may pay attention to your ways of expressing it. Let's highlight a few points that are worth paying attention to.

1. Facial expressions.

In addition to smiling, pay attention to your facial muscles. Don't frown, don't curl your lips. Try not to squint your eyes; your interlocutor may think that you are looking for a mistake in his words. Your face should be calm and friendly. Only lips and eyes should “speak”.

Pay attention to the voice. No overly emotional coloring. Take pauses between sentences, do not jabber. Think a little before answering a question in order to voice a ready-made proposal. This will help you pronounce your sentences more confidently, and there will be less chance of stuttering. Even if you are worried, do not allow yourself to get stuck on words. If you make speech mistakes, don’t get hung up, correct yourself, apologize to your interlocutor and continue speaking. This will show your confidence.

3. Eyes are the mirror of the soul.

You can easily read your inner emotions in your eyes. If you are calm, try not to shy away from your interlocutor’s gaze, demonstrate your equanimity. But if you still feel nervous, look away for a few seconds at a specific object. Preferably the one that is on the interviewer’s desk. This break will give you a chance to calm down. In no case do not run your eyes, do not look at your shoes or nails, this way you can show your interlocutor that you are not paying attention to the conversation.

4. Gesticulation.

Psychologists around the world agree that gestures help express thoughts. Moderate gestures will be beneficial if you find it difficult to make any proposal. This includes a nod of the head (as agreement), and forward movements of the body (at attention), and gestures of the arms and legs. Try to gesticulate in moderation so as not to distract the interlocutor’s attention.

Speaking about external manifestations internal state, do not forget that your appearance should be calm, no matter what.

Equanimity is a stable mental state that does not fluctuate from external stimuli.

First of all, you should not be distracted by the presence of strangers (HR employees or other room where the interview is being held). All your attention should be directed only to the interviewer.

Secondly, ignore the noise.

Thirdly, even if you make a mistake, don’t get lost and continue on.

Fourth, remember that the behavior should not be aggressive. Believe me, it is very rare to meet people who are not nervous during an interview. But you definitely need to show only the good sides.

In this case, the question logically arises about physiological characteristics body responding to stress.

External manifestations of internal unrest and how to deal with them.

1. Redness of the facial skin.

Don't worry if you feel hot and your heart rate increases. If you have previously noticed your ability to blush, then, of course, you may feel uncomfortable. Try to control your breathing, breathe only through your nose, shallowly and infrequently. Thus, the heart rhythms will calm down, less oxygen will enter the blood, and after a few minutes the blush will go away.

2. Increased sweating.

From excitement, beads of sweat may appear on your palms. Do not touch your purse; traces of your excitement may remain on it. Don't wipe your palms on your knees; at the very least, it looks childish. Relax your arms so that there is no tension in your hands. If the interview environment is not very dry and formal, you can use a handkerchief to wipe your palms. If the interview is very serious, during morning hygiene (or immediately before entering the office) you can apply an antiperspirant spray with a mild odor to your hands.

3. Trembling fingers.

At the beginning of a conversation, your fingers may tremble due to internal tension. Pick up a bag or pen. This phenomenon depends only on your anxiety, concentrate and after a while everything will pass. The main thing is that when passing papers, hold your fingers tightly, then your weakness will be less noticeable.

Regardless of everyone possible manifestations worries, don’t pay attention to them. Then it will be easier for you to calm down and tune in to communication. Even if your interviewer notices them, he will definitely look at your reaction. Purposefully moving towards a positive outcome of the interview, without paying attention to some of the characteristics of your body, is the height of equanimity.

And besides, all these phenomena are short-term, so there is no need to waste your time on trifles. But we need to consider one more separate feature that can help us during an interview.

Watch your hands

You will need:

– mirror for training;

- some time to get your hands in order.

Be prepared for:

– the fact that the interviewer will be distracted by your gestures;

- the fact that unforeseen situations will arise.

This may not be useful if:

– during the interview you will hardly have to communicate in person.

As we have already defined, gesticulation is the expression of thoughts and emotions through body movements. The most important positions are occupied by facial expressions and hand gestures. Facial expressions most often express momentary emotions: joy, fear, misunderstanding, surprise, attention. And hand gestures help to express your view of something. They reveal your character, the essence of your inner “I”, your attitude towards the world around you. Therefore, it’s time to talk about how you can use gestures during an interview.

Like a smile, they should vary depending on the type of your future activity. It is necessary to analyze each case separately.

Service sector. Due to the nature of the professions in this area, namely due to close contact with people, you need to look like a soft-spoken, non-rude person. Hand movements should be smooth, soft, unsharp, unobtrusive. Special attention They will most likely not pay attention to your gestures. But you will add external attractiveness to yourself. The overall impression of gestures and smiles should be good.

Non-production sphere. There is no need to particularly gesticulate; movements should be firm and confident. You need to show the ability to control yourself and not be distracted by emotions from your immediate tasks. Such movements will confirm to the interviewer that you are a professional.

Office services. Here, gestures are more acceptable; the interviewer will certainly appreciate clear, precise movements. But interspersing smooth gestures won’t hurt, since you still have to work in a team. You definitely need to convince your interlocutor that you are confident in yourself and fully responsible for yourself.

Manufacturing sector. It is advisable to gesture only to the point, without excessive emotional overtones. It will not benefit you if you are considered an overly impressionable person. Therefore, only such business movements will characterize you as a balanced person.

The sphere of education. Gesticulation is important, so movements must be smooth, precise, and emotional coloring must be acceptable. It will be easier for you to express your thoughts and prove your professional suitability. Of course, you shouldn't use gestures throughout the entire conversation, but they will help you prove that you are capable of teaching children.

Creative sphere. This is where you shouldn’t restrain yourself too much. You must compensate for your lack of experience or education by being charismatic. Of course, you can’t be a windmill, but you should understand from your gestures that you are an extraordinary person with enormous creative potential.

In any case, you should never gesticulate excessively or meaninglessly. This can reveal your inner anxiety, worry and insecurity. IN modern world these qualities are not valued.

Now is the time to talk about what not to do.

You cannot tug at your hair, wrap it around your fingers, or move the strands like a brush; this is regarded as coquetry and an inability to concentrate on thoughts.

There is no need to straighten your clothes or shake yourself off unless absolutely necessary. This will take your attention away from the questions, and may convince your interviewer that you care more about your appearance than about the interview. All this needs to be done before you enter the office.

Avoid biting your nails or hangnails. Alas, the indicator of your culture with such hand movements will decrease in the eyes of the interviewer.

Don't scratch your head or back. Be distracted as little as possible, otherwise you will alienate your interlocutor with these gestures, they are very personal in nature.

Don't knock your knuckles on the table or crack your fingers. This way you can behave in a freer environment.

What to do, if:

The exposed parts of the hands and face itch. With gentle movements, bring your hand to the desired place and slowly rub it with your fingertips. Don't scratch with all your might.

A strand of hair fell out. Try to catch the moment when you can bend or turn. Just put it behind your ear, don’t waste time on complex procedures.

You need to take the application form. Hand movements should be smooth and careful. This will demonstrate careful attitude to documents.

An object fell. Do not make fussy unnecessary movements, apologize and calmly pick up what you need, in the end, it is not you who are to blame, but the force of gravity of the earth. If you are standing, squat down, do not bend over.

In general, hand gestures directly depend on temperament and mental state person. Sanguine and phlegmatic people are highly valued in the labor market. Although completely opposite in terms of mobility, both types are well resistant to strong and prolonged irritant action. But choleric and melancholic people are unrestrained and hot-tempered, while others have poor resistance to strong stimuli. Therefore, if your hands cannot do you any good, do not at least harm your appearance with untimely movements and postures closed to communication.

Avoid pointing your finger at objects; if necessary, use your entire hand. Most importantly, don't let yourself be distracted by thoughts about gestures. If you rehearse at home in front of the mirror before the interview, you will achieve greater success than improvising on the fly. Remember that facial expressions and movements are just the first and not at all the main steps on the road to a new job.

Open poses

You will need:

- training;

– psychological adjustment to openness.

Be prepared for:

– to the fact that you will be placed in uncomfortable conditions to create stressful situation;

– because if your interlocutor dislikes you, it will be very difficult to maintain open postures.

This may not be useful if:

– you prefer to be natural;

– during an interview you can’t think about anything else except questions.

Gesticulation shows your general state whether you are open to communication or, conversely, closed. Therefore, we will analyze several poses that show your readiness to communicate carefully and constructively.

The first thing we pay attention to is the moment when you entered the office. After all, these are the most important moments for establishing the necessary contact.

Hints.

As you walk towards the interviewer's desk, walk with confidence and firmness. Don't keep your bag in front, it's a sign of anxiety.

Once you stop directly at the place where you will sit, stand straight without crossing your legs. The support should be on both legs, but if you put your leg forward a little, this may be perceived by your interlocutor as a decisive challenge.

Do not rest your hands on your hips, and do not hide them behind your back. The ideal option: a bag in one hand, the other resting with your fingertips on your intended chair.

After you sit down, hang your purse on the edge of the chair or place it on your lap (if it is small). Under no circumstances should you place your bag on your interlocutor’s table, as this will violate his personal space. If for one reason or another you cannot leave your bag with you, ask the interviewer where you can leave it. You should do the same with an umbrella and outerwear.

Basically, if you are truly open to communication, you will subconsciously adopt an open posture. But if you feel some embarrassment, you need to arm yourself with our advice.

1. Hands in a lock. Maybe clenching your hands will give you confidence, but still try not to do that. Most often, this means that from the very beginning you have a point of view on everything and will consider issues from your own angle. This is a demonstration of a kind of filter through which you will pass all information.

2. Crossed arms are an indicator of your shyness and reluctance to be completely sincere in your answers. It's like you're closing yourself off from possible dangers and don’t want to let go of your character. Remember that you are in an interview, not an interrogation, and do not cross your arms.

3. The legs are too thrown over one another, or even braided. This may indicate either manifestations of vulgarity or the infantilism of your psyche. Children usually braid their legs to feel more confident. And throwing your legs over one another in the hip area speaks of a certain arrogance and lack of composure in your character.

4. Don't slouch, clutching your bag with both hands in your lap and tucking your feet under a chair. This is a sign of pessimists and people with low self-esteem. Do everything to present yourself in a favorable light.

5. You can’t tap your foot; by doing this, you disrupt the usual rhythm of work for your interlocutor and can provoke him to make a remark. It's not in your best interest.

6. If you place your tense palms on top of each other on the edge of the table, this will tell the interviewer that you are overly emphatic. Try to relax. Otherwise, your interlocutor will think that you are just waiting for his mistake or embarrassment. Everything we've covered now relates to how you can demonstrate your closed positions.

So how should you behave to be perceived as an open and attentive person?

1. If your chair is at some distance from the table and you have nowhere to lean, we suggest the following position, which is most conducive to communication. Your back should be straight, keep your head level too, don’t let it go up (a look from above) or down (a look from under your brows is also not very pleasant).

You can cross your legs, but in the area of ​​your knees. Women usually find it more comfortable to sit this way. At the same time, make sure that your thrown foot does not protrude too much to the side, especially if your shoes have a long toe. You will feel more confident if you have something in your hands, such as a purse or a notebook with a pen. If there is nothing, hold your hands in a way that is comfortable for you, avoiding crossed positions. You can choose one of the following options: palms on top of each other on the knee of the crossed leg, or also on top of each other in the thigh area.

2. If your chair is to the right or left of the table, you can lean on it a little. At the same time, rest the surface of your hand from the elbow to the tips of your fingers on the edge of the table, place your second palm next to or on the first. The torso can be turned slightly towards the interlocutor, it is better not to throw your legs, but carefully place them at an angle towards the table. If, nevertheless, it is convenient for you to cross your legs, then the leg closest to the table should be at the top. Keep your head straight, do not lift your chin.

3. When you fill out the form, try to take a position that is comfortable for you, but after filling out, return to your previous position.

Why do you need to observe all this? Your interviewer is a pretty good judge of people, otherwise he wouldn't have been given the job. Do not forget that your task is to impress your interlocutor with the integrity of your character. If you use different methods to achieve the desired result, you will have to constantly be on your toes. But if you think through all your external manifestations personal responsibilities, success awaits you.

Surely there have been situations in your life when a person pushed you away with his behavior. We are now talking about antics, manners, etc. So start from the opposite and do not repeat any of the movements that strained you.

Your task is almost complete. You can already show by your appearance that you are warm and friendly (smile), that you are calm and calm (voice, facial expressions, general gestures, eyes) and open to communication (postures). If you do everything correctly, then your conversation will move in a polite and friendly manner, and the interlocutor will not be annoyed by possible deviations from the conversation. Now is the time to show him what other character traits you have.

Study your interlocutor

You will need:

- attentiveness;

- rest before the interview.

Be prepared for:

– the fact that the interviewer will control his behavior;

– so that the interviewer will notice your attention.

This may not be useful if:

– you are not interested in what the interlocutor is like;

– you don’t want to be distracted from the conversation.

When we talk about smiles, gestures, postures, clothing styles, etc., we are trying to produce good first impress the interviewer. However, he himself is the face of the company. His attitude towards you largely depends on his beliefs (or prejudices), outlook on life, degree of professionalism and experience. In order not to find yourself in an awkward position, to avoid appearing too smiling and clingy, study your interlocutor and his external manifestations of internal emotions.

1. The interviewer's eyes reflect the degree of his interest. If he looks at you directly, it means he is listening and waiting for the information he needs. If the eyes are mobile, this indicates some distraction. Try to raise the timbre of your voice a little so that he listens to you. If the interlocutor's eyes are lowered to documents or hands, this is either a test of your activity, or complete inattention and unprofessionalism. In any case, continue answering and finish your thoughts.

2. The interviewer’s gestures show his degree of preparedness for such events. The absence of gestures is a plus in the work of an interviewer, since the questions are not emotionally charged, and you can answer the way you want. Excessive gesticulation speaks of a certain character and attitude to what is happening. An experienced interviewer will use gestures to indicate the end of a conversation: closing a pen, closing a folder, moving documents, and performing other similar actions. An inexperienced interviewer will use gestures throughout the interview to help himself do the job correctly.

3. Pay attention to facial expressions. Unlike gestures, which can be suppressed, facial muscles very clearly show the owner's attitude towards a given situation. It will be easy for you to follow your lips, because they are the source of sound, and when asking questions, attention is often drawn to them. Pursed lips indicate dissatisfaction with what is happening. Perhaps the conversation took the wrong direction. Curling lips are a sign that questions or answers are inappropriate. Try to pause, maybe you can correct the situation.

4. Changes in voice volume, sentence construction, and variability in intonation are one of the interviewer’s techniques used to take the shine off you and face the truth. In addition to these tricks, it is very easy to distinguish emotions, such as hidden joy, negativity, hostility, empathy. Try to immediately recognize the emotions with which you are greeted. The arrogantly boorish behavior of the interlocutor usually speaks about the culture of the enterprise, so it’s worth thinking about whether you are applying there, whether it will be a laundry instead of a cultural center. Sentence construction and conversation style are also important. Adapt to them to avoid overt confrontation.

In general, you need to understand what type your interlocutor is.

The sanguine person tries to conduct the conversation faster, the topics of questions arise spontaneously (in addition to the questionnaire). His movements are swift, his tone of voice is not strongly colored by emotions, he looks into your eyes, knows exactly what he needs to get from you, and resorts to his own ideas to achieve this goal. Conversations often become personal.

A phlegmatic person will carry out his work with restraint, without emotion, acting according to plan and not allowing the topics to change direction. He is not easily embarrassed or made to feel hostile. But he always appreciates all the positive things you show.

Cholerics are very nervous people. Their emotions overwhelm the entire conversation; he often wants to hear only confirmation of his words. He talks a lot, gesticulates a lot and is based on his inner impressions. Distracted by indirect questions, having difficulty maintaining the style of conversation. The result depends on whether he likes you based on your personal qualities.

Melancholic people simply do the necessary work. His attitude to the conversation will be viewed through the prism of mood. But more often than not, he simply collects information about you, performing the entire amount of work professionally. The movements are shy, blurry, the poses speak of closedness. He is frightened by bright emotional outbursts, so it is necessary to remain calm and equanimous.

In fact, these personality types are rare in their pure form; more often they are combined with each other or can be distorted due to the characteristics of the interviewer’s work. Regardless of the character of your interlocutor, you need to express all the information about yourself, so look for an approach to the interviewer. Also, some personality traits can be determined using the style in which the interlocutor’s clothes and shoes are worn. Of course, the neutral, classic style has long become the standard for first communication with candidates. But pay attention to the quality of the interviewer's shoes and accessories. Good shoes are an indicator not only of social status, but also of the level of self-esteem. All kinds of bracelets, chains, earrings, hairpins, brooches, cufflinks, etc. are personal notes in the style of clothing. Images of butterflies, birds, and flowers are characteristic of romantic natures; expensive and stylish jewelry characterizes the conservatism and radicalism of your interlocutor, his sense of purpose and love of order. Believe me, he will collect as much information about you as is necessary and useful for the organization.

If the interview takes place in the middle or end of the day, your interviewer is already tired and the work already seems like a chore. Infect him with your optimism, smiles, liveliness of judgment, stir up his perception and force him to pay attention to you. Let the interview with you be a relaxation for him, not a job. Take the initiative, lead the conversation, or actively help the other person in the conversation.

Another important point is not to overstep the bounds business relations. How do you understand that you have interested the interviewer personally, and the conversation is moving into a slightly intimate direction, which could lead to you being rejected?

The woman interviewer begins to demonstrate her figure, actively moving and revealing for viewing the most attractive, in her opinion, facial and physical aspects. Facial expressions are excessively mobile, lips are constantly curling, eyes express interest. Of course, men may be pleased with this behavior, but believe me, this greatly reduces your chances of getting a job. If you fall for coquetry and start flirting, you will be judged according to other categories that do not speak at all about professionalism and education. The behavioral tactics should be as follows: do not play along with your interlocutor, let her only read admiration in your eyes, and the conversation will go on as usual. Don't give compliments, don't look at your figure openly. Possibly due to extraneous reasons she wants to prove that all men are the same, or simply test you with such feminine cunning. Be calm, restrained and do not let the conversation turn to personal topics.

The male interlocutor tries to show his charm and attentiveness. Of course, there is a possibility that this is your “destiny”, but it is safer to find out after hiring. Male coquetry can be expressed by throwing your hands behind your head to demonstrate your biceps, a languid glance from under your forehead, openly looking at your figure, or a veiled interest in your appearance.

You must choose how to behave yourself. But be above prejudice and think about the current situation in a positive way. After all, even from such an attitude towards you, you can benefit yourself, and only then decide whether it is worth starting a relationship with him.

It cannot be said that life position is some kind of innate factor. Many of its aspects determine the conditions in which a person spent his childhood and which he encountered. A life position takes on specific forms in the same way as a personality, which a person does not immediately realize. However, although character influences both personality and life position, both can be consciously changed.

Activity in life position determines how successful a person is. He is courageous and proactive, not afraid to act and ready for active achievements. It doesn’t matter whether a person with such a position is a leader or a follower, he always has his own point of view and will not agree to violate his principles.

The opposite in properties is a passive life position. It is typical for indifferent and inert people. Such a person is more likely to avoid difficulties and take weeks to resolve them. Passivity can manifest itself not only in an apathetic and depressed state, although most often such people are characterized by a lack of initiative in solving problems. It happens that a person simply follows other people's instructions without questioning them. Some passive people create the appearance of activity, they fuss and make noise, but the absence of a vector of behavior reveals their inertia.

Some people become passive due to life's troubles. In this case, passivity is often associated with aggression towards more active others; the person shows a desire to reason with and “educate in the right way” those who, like him, have not accepted failures.

Proactive life position

Another subtype of life position is proactivity. Indeed, it happens that circumstances are stacked against a person, and he cannot do anything. this moment do. Even an active person sometimes gives in under the pressure of problems. But a proactive person never gives up.

Associated with proactivity is the concept of sphere of influence. There are things that you cannot influence now, but there are others that directly depend on you. No matter how small your sphere of influence is, you must direct your efforts specifically to it and to expanding it. There is no point in thinking and wasting energy on something that does not depend on you. This seems obvious, but most people do it differently. For example, remember how often people around you complain about the government or curse the weather. If you can't change it right now, don't waste your energy on it. It is absolutely certain that there are things that you can do: do as best as possible what depends on you, what you are doing now.

By acting in accordance with this rule, proactive people get out of crises faster and with fewer losses.

The most important thing to understand is that your position in life depends entirely on you. Even if you have been passive at times, you can still become active or proactive right now, and it will never be too late.

Where do the problems that abound in our life path? Where is their source? According to Eric Berne, the age at which a key scenario decision is made—I am “good” or “bad”—is an interval from 2 to 3 years. First, an individual’s self-image or life position is formed. Until the age of 5-7, she participates in the formation of the script.

The scenario laid down at this age can be both positive and negative. In the first case, it allows you to realize your plans: to get rich, write music and become a famous composer or athlete, a good family man or just a happy person. In the second, it can include negative life programs: an attitude towards lack of money, the development of alcohol and drug addiction and other problems.

The main program components included in the script are formed by parents under 7 years of age. It is at this time that the child receives his first impressions of life. Thus, a person entering a cafe for the first time forms a first impression in a split second: “barn” - low ceilings that press on the head, too bright light and a rustic, cheeky contingent or, on the contrary, - homely, pleasant staff, there are tables , where you can relax and talk, the music is not intrusive, the repertoire is excellent. Even if in a cafe that you didn’t like the first time, everything changes exactly the opposite, you still won’t go there again, since you have already formed the first, most lasting impression.

In the same way, a child under 6-7 years old, answering questions that are important to him, makes his first impression of himself and the world: what he is like, who he is, is it pleasant to study, is school a good place, can he trust his parents, friends, what is friendship? ?

If his initial expectations are deceived, he becomes disappointed in what did not live up to expectations and withdraws into himself. This is nothing more than protection: if I limit contacts with the world, then next time it will not hurt me as much, and if it does, the pain will be much less.

Choosing a position: I'm good - I'm bad

A child falls into a puddle on the playground - he roars, grabs the abrasion on his knee, looks towards his mother. Mom is beside herself with rage - she will have to get her new sandals dirty in a puddle. Instead of soothing strokes and consolation, the mother gives the baby several heavy blows anywhere. The baby falls a second time and breaks into hysterics. The second likely reaction is outright amusement. It’s funny for mom to watch how awkwardly her little man stretches out to his full height. The child is in in a state of shock– not only were expectations of help not justified, but his call resulted in additional stress.

Of course, everything can happen exactly the opposite - the mother will arrive in time, console and fully meet the baby’s expectations.

Negative or positive situations from the child’s point of view are repeated to one degree or another all the time; life brings him to the need to answer the question: why is this happening? And depending on what his answer is, his life position will be formed for the rest of his life. The problem is that at an early age, children trust their parents absolutely: mother is the highest wisdom. She is always right in everything. And the child will not come to the idea that his mother may be “just a fool” until he is 15 years old.

If parents are ready to properly raise a child from the first days of his life, positive content will remain in his life position - required condition prosperous and happy life.

4 main life positions

Children come to their first class having already received the first “painful” experience with their position in life: favorites, leaders, losers, choosing the last desks. At school, taking this into account, previously formed psychological reactions are consolidated and developed. Therefore, psychologists strongly recommend: do not choose a good school - choose a good one class teacher.

There wouldn’t be many broken destinies, and psychologists would have an order of magnitude less work if the attitude of parents towards their children in the first years of their lives was different. If mom raised it on time, and the dog licked and did not bite, then answering the questions: “What am I like?”, “What is my environment like?” ... and "What is the world like?" ... a child at 2–3 years old will “put pluses.” It will form the life position of a happy and positive person, committed to creation.

Important: there will always be a difference between a person and an action in his world. Therefore, he will never say “You are a complete idiot”, making an enemy or losing a friend, but will note: “Today you acted like an idiot.” This is the scheme: I “+” You “+” “ I AM GOOD – YOU ARE GOOD ».

If the dog nevertheless bit, and the parents were busy with themselves at the crucial moment, laughing or hitting them at the first opportunity, then the child is honestly forced to “minus”. Since his ideas about the world turned out to be erroneous, he concludes that he is bad, that he is a “loser.” A person projects this life position into adulthood. At the same time, the child will always justify the people closest to him - the true culprits of millions of broken destinies at the time of making a decision, giving them his cherished plus sign. Over the years, continuing to stubbornly minus himself for any reason, he admits that those around him are luckier, more perfect, smarter, he is a sucker and an unresponsive lamer. This is how the formation of a life position occurs: I “-” You “+” “ I AM BAD - YOU ARE GOOD».

Any desire to develop, change oneself, and even more so, to create and give, is euthanized in a narcissist at the age of 2–3 years. The main culprits for the skewed life position, again, are parents and grandparents.

Growing up and getting more and more, he still remains dissatisfied with the environment, which does not know how to arrange his life as it should. When choosing his position in life, he diligently “draws a plus” for himself, but his loved ones, who were unable to hurry up and appreciate in time what gift fate gave them in his person, receive a minus. This is the scheme I “+” You “-” “ I AM GOOD - YOU ARE BAD».

No less destructive is the life position of a person: I “-” You “-” “ I'M BAD - YOU'RE BAD " This position basically excludes any desire to change in any direction. The usual state of mind of such a person is fatalism and boredom. The logical conclusion of such a life credo is often the desire to end this meaningless existence.

When everything is GOOD

A person who evaluates himself – I am “+”, is able to discern a positive beginning in his loved ones – You are “+”, willingly makes new acquaintances – They are “+”, finds an interesting job – Work “+” – can be considered psychologically healthy.

The child initially begins the assessment and choice of life position with himself - Who am I “+” or “-”? If “+” is selected, the child recognizes himself as strong, talented, smart, capable, just like dad / just like mom.

When things are BAD

If at the age of 2-3 years a child gave himself a “-”, he obviously agreed that he was stupid, awkward, cowardly, alas, all like his father/father’s mother, not interesting to others, not needed. It is precisely this position in life at the age of 13–16 that often leads schoolgirls of completely normal build, pursuing the goal of losing weight at any cost, to anorexia with a fatal outcome.

You are “-” prone to conflicts with members of your microsociety, whom he puts on the list of disadvantaged people. At the same time, his penchant for sarcasm and caustic irony, his desire to re-educate them and his willingness to say goodbye even for a trivial reason are revealed. If the They “-” position prevails, the person avoids new contacts, and only notices shortcomings in new communication partners. Adaptation to an unfamiliar environment occurs at a snail's pace. If Labor is “-”, there is constant dissatisfaction with the material result. Then the person is busy constantly searching better work, striving to improve mainly material well-being.

Important: With the appearance of “-” in one of the positions, the positive content of the others changes. So, if “+” disappears from the You “+” position, distortions occur in the perception of the Self. Then a person, when communicating with loved ones, shows arrogance.

Less often, in almost all life situations, all positions are characterized by “+” - the personality is stable. When at some moments in life positions remain positive, at others - negative - then it is not stable. As Litvak noted, the presence of even one minus in a personal complex entails the appearance of minuses in the others, which sooner or later will lead to neurosis.

Roles, like scenarios, are assigned in advance

As Eric Berne said: “A person’s life path - his destiny is determined by what happens in his head when he comes into conflict with the outside world. Freedom gives him the opportunity to carry out his own plans, and power gives him the opportunity to interfere with the plans of others.” But a person decides for himself how he will live and how he will end his life’s journey in early childhood. In the future, a person’s entire life is subordinated to the chosen scenario, which can be called a life plan.

Since the ultimate goal of man is happiness and balanced life, our main task is to try to learn how to determine our life position, based on it, read our life script and, by correcting its negative part, change our life path.

Life position is a person’s effective and emotional attitude to all manifestations in his life, determined by external frameworks and internal attitudes. This attitude manifests itself on several levels at once - in actions, thoughts, statements and even inaction at certain moments. Any position implies not only a passive demonstration of one’s attitude, but also an active and effective direction to implement one’s position.

The formation of a life position occurs throughout life, but begins from childhood. It includes features of neuropsychic organization, type of thinking, obtained psychological trauma. In addition, the immediate environment (especially in childhood) has a direct impact on one’s life position, since close people form values, semantic space, goals and plans.

A person’s life position can be determined by him independently, depending on his plans and necessary achievements. In many cases, the correctly chosen position helps development and faster development, but first, for this it is necessary to decide on the most correct and effective one for each specific person and his individual life characteristics.

What it is

The life position is formed thanks to the immediate environment during the first years of life. The features of its development, attitudes, guidelines and needs, as well as ways of responding to situations are transmitted by parents and educators, becoming internalized categories. Subsequently, these embedded parts manifest themselves in all possible industries. human life, defining both moral life positions and work, personal and even political ones.

However, this does not mean that once formed, a life position remains a static category. It can change under the influence of new knowledge acquired or life experience. In many ways, a person himself can shape its changes through the application of mental and mental efforts, changing his direction and habitual ways of reacting and assessing the situation. By the time of achievement, the main life position is formed, and if there are no fundamental changes in personality and external social situation, then it remains key, only slightly adjusted under the influence of situational factors.

There is also a categorization of positions. One of these classifications adheres to the concept that the position itself is formed even before the birth of the child, since it is determined psychological state parents. This does not mean genetic conditioning or actions, but rather the prism of perception. Roughly speaking, a person can evaluate himself as someone good or feel his own inferiority; all external reality is subject to the same basic assessments. Such deeply held beliefs are practically impossible to follow. volitional correction. Changes are possible only if conscious efforts are made, often with the help of a psychotherapist, and require more than one year of intense internal work.

Types of life positions

The typology of positions is based on the ways in which a person interacts with the surrounding space. In relation to this, active and passive varieties are distinguished.

An active life position is always aimed at changes concerning both one’s own personality (creativity, learning, new acquaintances) and society (reform ideas regarding norms, strategies and principles for solving certain problems). At the level of interaction, it always manifests itself through leadership aspirations and innovative ideas. Regarding their own existence, such people are distinguished by independence and high level responsibility for oneself and those indirectly involved in it. With negative development, tendencies towards violation may be revealed social norms, organizations of various criminal groups, revolutions and oppositions.

In any of the options, an active position excludes an indifferent attitude towards the trends and processes of one’s own life. These people are called to change everything that they consider inappropriate or wrong. Depending on the moral foundations of the individual himself, such an orientation can lead either to rapid development and reform, or to an increase in anarchy and permissiveness. Activity like characteristic allows you to cope with all difficulties and quickly find solutions to all kinds of issues. Such people are not afraid of initiative and the responsibility that comes with implementing their own ideas.

Taking the side of actively changing the world, people do not get hung up on their own experiences and difficulties, they are always on the move and are happy about changes. The downside can be considered the same requirements for others - they cannot stand prolonged worry over one issue and the desire to keep everything as it is, just not to be exposed to the risk and uncertainty of change.

A passive life position adheres to conformist ideas, compliance with all social norms and rules, even to their detriment and when they are unreasonably stupid. The desire to rely on chance, not to change your life, circle of friends and interests for years. Such a person relieves himself of most of the responsibility, leaving many important decisions to the state, significant people or superiors.

Difficulties for people with a passive position arise when faced with difficulties and when solving creative problems. They are, of course, good performers, but are practically devoid of leadership qualities, since they always strive to move along the well-known, beaten path.
Sometimes such lack of initiative leads to an increase in problems and the frequent occurrence of critical situations that are already solved by other people.

The static nature of the passive position at first glance ensures the safety and familiarity of the situation, but problems begin when external conditions are starting to change. To be successful and prosperous important quality is the ability to perceive changes and reorganize your life in relation to trends. This is practically inaccessible to passive people and will sit in a burning house until the end, hoping that the fire will stop on its own.

According to the type of direction of energy, positions are distinguished into negative and positive. In negative manifestations, a person’s behavior and attitudes are aimed at antisocial actions and the desire to resist the established way of life. In the form of active changes or passive sabotage depends on the first two options, but these are always frustrating tendencies. Positive aspirations focus on humanistic values, development and ethical standards. Moreover, if a person is not able to independently introduce and implement similar ones, then he will support and comply with the existing ones, passing on a similar approach to his children.

Examples

Examples will help you understand in more detail and finally understand the main types of life positions. Thus, an active life position with a positive orientation is expressed in one’s own high self-esteem; such a person is happy with the place he occupies and knows how to appreciate what is happening in his life. He can be passionate about many matters concerning him and those around him. These are active participants in actions for peace and the fight against poverty, volunteers and simply caring people. They are the ones who stop to help. crying child or fallen on the street, while they sincerely enjoy their actions.

The radical opposite is the passive negative position. In this case, a person may evaluate himself as a victim or a loser, and perceive the world around him as hostile, stupid, and degrading. Life decisions are not accepted - people resign themselves to the fact that they are fired, offended, deceived and attribute everything to the injustice of fate. As a rule, they do not have their own ideas to improve the situation, and if they do, they are not going to implement them.

A passive positive attitude is quite common, especially in good economic and social conditions. People are able to appreciate what they have, maintain traditions, strengthen existing achievements, but not make adjustments. Having all the makings, such a person will not quit his low-paying, habitual job just because he has enough for everything, and change requires energy. They are subject to mass thoughts - they vote like the majority, listen to the same music and do not argue. At the same time, the level of satisfaction is quite high, especially if changes and troubles do not affect them personally.

An active position with a negative orientation represents opposition to society. These could be protest rallies, defending one’s position through quarrels and fights.
Oppositions, anarchists, criminals are prominent representatives of people with similar internal foundations. Verbal aggression and constant complaints about what is happening, nitpicking over trifles and excessive demands on society ultimately make a person an antisocial person.

To be fair, it is worth noting that pure species positions are not found, we can only talk about the predominance of one of them. Depending on the situation, a person can react various options and this is precisely the best position where flexibility is possible. The situation when a person reacts in a typical way throughout his life, without focusing on his own state and the real state of affairs, is the most negative, since it leads to personal degradation.

Why are some people rich and successful while others are poor and unhappy? We often ask ourselves this question. Like, he was lucky, he found his path, or he is the heir of rich parents, or a thief, whatever the pessimist will say. But he himself does nothing to get even a little closer to their success. We will talk about this and much more in the article.

What is the secret of happiness?

Life position is what influences our subconscious, thoughts, actions, perception of the world. The environment, model of behavior, field of activity, sincerity will depend on it. From the first minute of communication with a person, it is clear what his position in life is and whether he has one at all.

In other words, this is the attitude of the individual to the world around him, which is reflected in his thoughts and actions. There are two main types:

1. Passive life position.
2. And active.

The first, also called conformist, is aimed at subordination to external circumstances and the surrounding world. Such people, as a rule, are inert and do not show any interest in life. They do not improve themselves, they do not make decisions in difficult situation, it’s easier for them to sidestep the problem. They don't keep their word, they deceive.

The second helps to transform the factors influencing the individual and situations in his favor. Let's talk about it in more detail.

Features of an active life position

May be:

• Negative.
• And positive.

In the first case, people direct negative energy to commit bad deeds. They deliberately cause harm to others, imposing their opinions and goals on everyone, which bring harm rather than benefit.

A positive life position is characterized by high morality and spirituality of a person. The individual leads a positive lifestyle and rejects evil. An active life position is a guideline that directs a person in the right direction, so that he works for the good of society and strives to benefit people throughout his entire journey.

The truly happy person is the one who gives more than he receives. It is important to understand that nothing in life comes easy, you need to work hard. And for this you need to choose the right path in life, think positively, not waste time on work you don’t like, and develop.

When and how is it formed?

The foundation of a life position is laid in early childhood. And as the child grows up, its walls either strengthen or weaken. The construction of this framework will depend on the parents and close environment in which the individual grew up. Namely: from heredity, upbringing, family traditions and other things.

But this does not mean that if a bad life experience has been received, the person will not have any or a passive life position, not at all, it can be consciously changed, just like character. So, let’s be clear: the formation of a life position begins from birth. Look at yourself from the outside, if you are not satisfied with life, rethink it, perhaps you are doing something wrong. Try to change yourself.

Let's talk about morality

A person’s moral life positions characterize his internal spiritual baggage and are based on the values ​​that guide him in life. Morally, an individual develops in the process of life in society, expressed in the ability to consciously build relationships with people, himself, society, and the state.

The formation of moral life positions, of course, will depend on many factors, such as environment, personality, habits, upbringing, family traditions. To form them, you need to develop several qualities:

• You need to learn to live in harmony with yourself.
• Build relationships with adults and peers.

A person’s moral positions form a model of behavior that guides them to achieve success and well-being.

How to decide on the best position in life?

You need to analyze your life. Start with habits, review values ​​and priorities. Change your thinking. Here are examples of life positions:

• Helping people. By helping, a person benefits not only others, but also himself, because he will definitely be thanked kind words, will be rewarded with a blessing. And this is the highest reward.
• Self improvement. Also, one of the best positions in life will bring stunning success, lead to achieving your goal, and the result of your work will be appreciated by others. Don’t be idle, read books, articles, attend trainings, development courses, play sports, go to the theater and exhibitions. It is necessary to constantly develop.
• Family and children. If you have chosen this life position for yourself, then you are wise and smart. After all, this is our main reassignment in life. Work hard, surround your children with love and care, help them realize themselves, make family members happy. This is the highest achievement.

Only you can decide your best position in life. The main thing is to never give up, move forward, and don’t lose heart. Understand that worries, depression, fears and Bad mood will not correct the situation, but will only worsen it. Spread your wings, take off, dream and strive to achieve your goals.

How to do it?

So, let’s figure out where to start in order to develop an active life position:

1. As mentioned above, learn to set goals. Do not set impossible tasks; the goal must be specific, realistically achievable and short time. It’s better to move towards your big dream in small steps.
2. Need to get rid of bad habits. This is not only smoking and alcohol, this can include aimless pastime. Don't sit for hours computer games, on social networks and so on. Spend your weekend usefully, visit museums and exhibitions.
3. Read more useful information.
4. Learn time management. Technology will help you organize your time correctly and use it more efficiently.
5. Don't close yourself off outside world. Get to know it, open up to new things. Change your image, travel. Show interest in unknown forms of art, for example.
6. Don't be afraid to take risks. Never doubt the implementation of ideas. Don't stop halfway.
7. Leave negative memories behind, learn from experience and don’t look back at the past.
8. Surround yourself only with positive people, adopt their knowledge.

To change your life for the better, you need to take action. You say, it’s easy to talk. But again, sitting back, discussing unnecessary things, simply doing nothing is not an option, nothing will happen. Start small, learn to think positively, and, slowly overcoming small obstacles, you will move towards your goal, your dream.