In the world, breast cancer has not been considered for several decades now. fatal disease. ChaiKhana gives the floor to women who have overcome this disease and reminds them of the need for regular mammography - diagnostics on early stage saves lives.
UMA GEYBULLA, BAKU
Five story building diagnostic center. The ultrasound doctor's office is located on the top floor. I remember I came out of there... I don’t know what was in chest, but it seemed to me that I was carrying the entire globe on my head. I walk down the stairs and hear the sound of tears falling, like stones hitting marble and echoing. This was probably the most difficult thing. You think about how tears can hit a stone. I didn’t even think that this disease could affect me.
In 1990, I got my first lumps. Now I associate my illness with those stresses in the 90s: I experienced those events very painfully: troops in the city, shootings. When the first lumps appeared, the doctor prescribed me treatment, and every six months I underwent it. At that time, cancer was already known, but it was not as radical as it is today. In 1993, I developed redness, and I was told that these tumors, and there were already 12-13 of them, needed to be removed. The breast was saved then, but then the doctor did an ultrasound and everything had to be removed female organs Same.
During the next examination in 1997, the doctor forced me to urgently see a mammologist. But I didn’t understand why it was so urgent. At that time, they already knew about cancer, and I thought that if I had cancer and the tumor was malignant, then definitely - I was doomed to die, I would never get out.
I remember that moment when the doctor announced my diagnosis. I thought I was not me. I thought that it wasn’t me sitting, I thought that I was standing and looking at myself from the outside and listening to these people tell her scary words, and some Uma sits and watches. And I, I stood behind her and looked at it.
At that time, the cancer was already in the third stage; it was necessary to urgently undergo surgery and chemotherapy.
We were advised to another doctor at the oncology center, where the diagnosis was confirmed. They called a consultation, where I and all my “heavy artillery of relatives” went (laughs). At first they didn’t let me in, they discussed something without me, but after half an hour they called me in and openly said that, as a modern and intelligent person, I should know that I was seriously ill, and I had to serious treatment. Surgery, chemotherapy, radiation, and medications that help in 70 out of 100 cases. The doctor said that if 50% is the help of doctors, then the remaining 50% is a person who must help himself, must drive away dark thoughts, believe in recovery and trust the doctors.
For me, the most difficult period in my life was the recovery period. Postoperative effects made themselves felt. The arm where the lymph nodes were removed stopped working; some nerve was probably hit. Gradually I began to recover. I was feeling better. Already in front of the doctor’s office, I reassured other women, I told them that in six months you will recover and you will feel better. To be honest, I didn’t immediately believe that I would survive. I realized this two years later.
During chemotherapy, hair falls out and women go bald, but not all. The doctor said that if a person has some kind of intelligence, then the hair falls out completely; for many, the hair falls out partially. When I went bald, my brother was happy and said: “Thank God, now we know that my sister has intelligence” (laughs).
During chemotherapy, what happens to your body is so unclear, I can’t even describe it, and I couldn’t at that time.
After chemo, 3 years later, my kidney failed, I had problems with memory and hearing, I have migraines, and I have trouble hearing.
After the operation and removal of the mammary glands, I developed another lump, and it had to be removed. I took my daughter-in-law, hiding it from everyone, and went to the doctor to have it removed. Well, how many operations were possible? I had 6 surgeries and didn’t want to tell anyone. For a person who had gone through thick and thin, this small operation was no longer scary.
I don't think doctors should talk directly about the diagnosis. It was very difficult for me to hear about this, I think it would have been easier if I had not known about it. Maybe I'm not so modern man. I know a lot of people don't get told. For example, my nephew's wife was never told.
After my illness, I began to lead a socially active lifestyle. I wrote a lot about this disease, met with patients and talked with them until I had a conversation with one woman. I called her and wanted to calm her down, but she started asking hurtful questions. Where is the guarantee that if you have recovered, then I will recover too, she asked. It was difficult to hear this. You don’t see the person, you talk on the phone, you reassure, you promise that everything will be fine, in a year we will talk to you again, you yourself will say that everything is fine with you, and in response to this I hear “not everyone gets better, as You". It was as if she blamed me for being alive. People are different.
Women change after such illnesses. I kissed flowers. Now I can’t imagine how a person can bend down and kiss a flower in the park. I did this, I loved all the people on earth, the entire globe, everything that surrounds me, I saw the beauty around me, which I can’t say about myself now.
I really wanted to live. I was 43 and had dreams of celebrating my fiftieth birthday. I even asked my brother to mark him in advance. Then my brother said, Reagan beat cancer, don't you think you'll win? Moreover, he doesn’t have brothers and sisters like you!
In fact, family support is a colossal factor, but you still need to trust your doctors too. Maybe God helped me, I don’t know, but something definitely helped me, probably even all of them together.
For example, before chemistry, it was difficult for my brother to see me without hair, and someone told him that there is no need to subject me to such torture, there is some associate professor who treats alternative ways, and he really asked me to go to him. I refused. I said, I trust medicine and doctors, let the doctors do what they see fit.
Usually all the bad things are left behind; during this period I met a lot of people and began to appreciate them more. If before I selectively communicated with people, then I began to communicate with everyone and realized that all people are equal. Values change, attitudes towards many things change, attitudes change.
In 1997 there was no Internet yet, but I was very interested in what was being injected into me. I asked the nurse for the names of the medications, went to the pharmacy and asked their composition, and that’s how I found out that I was injected with snake venom in its pure form.
Starting in 2009, I became an Internet addict, sat on forums all day long, wrote, discussed some issues. There I met very interesting young people, we went to orphanages together, and they still come to my home.
I have written many articles on this topic. I had a story about young people I met at a cancer center, they both had cancer, and they met each other there. The guy no longer had hair, but despite this, despite this terrible disease, he had a great sense of humor. I wrote all this in the first person. How then she lost him and described all these emotions.
Once, after the operation, I was coming out of the bathroom and my niece’s son asked, “Auntie, where are your breasts?” And I pointed to the hanger and said, here they are hanging. Then there was a problem with dentures, they put in what they could, I made something out of cotton wool myself and put it in. I often looked at myself in the mirror and cried, it seemed ugliness to me. And he told me, “Auntie, don’t cry, but you won’t have to ask people to turn away when you change clothes.”
Now we have everything, but they are expensive. I wanted to give my first dentures to someone, but no one wanted to. I wrote on the Internet under a false name, and one of my breasts was taken away. This is also a problem, you can’t say it out loud, you can’t advertise it in the newspaper either. I think that if it is intact, then it should be given to someone.
Before my illness, I thought there were a lot of bad people in the world and few decent people; after my illness, I realized that it was the other way around. I think everything that happened in my life has already happened, and everything that is connected with my illness - acquaintances, people - is good. Good or bad, this is my life.
IRINA RYABIKHINA, BAKU
Seven years ago, I myself felt a tumor in my breast, it turned out to be mastopathy, and the tumor turned out to be in a different place. At that time, I was 43 years old when the doctor told me that it was necessary to remove both the upper and lower organs. I decided to remove it in order to live, why die with two breasts.
It's been 7 years since I beat cancer. Nothing has changed in my life. I don't wear dentures. I adapted without them.
I took 6 chemo treatments, of course? After the operations I didn’t feel anything, but the chemo process is not just hard, it’s indescribable, it’s terrible. It seemed to me that I had gone through all the circles of hell. I wouldn't wish this on my enemy. The bruises from the injections still haven't gone away. But am I alive? and that's the most important thing.
Naturally, I was shocked. I cried for one day, then I put on dark glasses and went to get money from the bank. I am grateful to people for their help. My former classmates got together and paid half the amount, I borrowed the other half, my friend wrote to one of the largest companies in Azerbaijan, and one person paid for all my chemotherapy and also gave me money for rehabilitation after chemotherapy. When I called to say thank you, he interrupted me and said thank you for giving me this opportunity, the opportunity to help you. Then I realized that good people more than bad ones. Absolutely everyone helped me.
It seemed to me that I was not depressed, although my children claim that negativity came from me.
Now it hurts me to see someone die from this. Personally, my strong character helped me; I was sure that everything would be fine. I was confident in myself, in my doctor, I didn’t go to anyone else. She said that I would get rid of it and everything would be fine.
Today it’s hard for me to muster the will to go and get checked. I can't go to oncology anymore. I feel bad about what’s happening there, about these queues. I came to sign up at 4 am and sat in the hallway in the cold.
It is very difficult for a woman to decide on such an operation, I went through menopause, I gained weight, hormonal imbalances, my arm began to be lost, but it is worth living, seeing my children, grandchildren, mother. I went bald, wore headscarves, but never a wig. At my daughter’s wedding, I had a very short haircut and everyone thought that her mother was some kind of extreme sportswoman. And despite this condition, the dark circles under the eyes, yellow face, I thought I looked good.
My attitude towards many things has changed. I always had a lot of plants in my old apartment, but when we moved here, they all died. After that I started growing flowers. I also had a dog who was dying from the same disease that I suffered from. This dog lived with us for 14 years, we all adored her. She dies, the next day we go for tests and everything is fine. I was very worried about her death, she took away my illness. Six months later I got a dog again. Now I treat many things differently, I have become more tolerant, and towards people too. Now I live by the principle of “communicating with whomever I want”
When a person is sick, he clings to everything. I often went to church, and it seemed to me that Matrona was helping me. The main thing is to believe, and it doesn’t matter what, in a doctor, in God, the main thing is to believe.
I have a friend who had a very hard time with my illness, and after the operation I got a gray strand, and she has a gray strand in the same place, but in a mirror image. Due to my strong character, it so happened that I encouraged my friends. They called me to express support, but it turned out the other way around, I reassured them, told them that everything would be fine.
He who is destined to burn will not drown. Maybe I did everything quickly and on time, I didn’t have time to think.
They say, female cancer- this is an insult, this is a reaction to insults, to the grievances accumulated in a woman. With this illness, all my grievances have gone away, I don’t take offense at anyone anymore.
In any situation you need to look for the positive. My positive was that this happened to me at 43, when I had already completed my journey as a woman, and not at 33. I saw 16-year-old girls in oncology whose uterus was removed. She had uterine cancer. I saw a 15-year-old boy who was simply cut into pieces, and I saw his mother.
The positive thing is that this happened to me at 43, and it was to me, not to my children. We need to look for the positive, I have become smarter, kinder, I have many friends, I love life more. You don’t need to ask why, you need to ask why.
When I was sick, I said I wouldn’t want anything, just to get well, but as soon as it passes, I want everything again.
I think I was punished for something, I even know what. But when we are young, we all make mistakes, and at that moment we think that we are doing it right. There are things I’m ashamed of that I wouldn’t do now. They say that wisdom comes with age, I would correct some things, but as they say, history has no subjunctive mood.
Nigar Aliyeva, Baku
It feels like I was never sick when I went to oncology - these faces didn’t reach me. These suffering faces, you look at them and you don’t want to live. It’s understandable, it’s painful, it’s difficult, but don’t make everyone feel sorry for you. I didn't know what I was like. I only cried for the first week of illness, then I pulled myself together. Unfortunately, among our people, if you have cancer, then you are a suicide bomber. That’s why when you go to Zumba right after chemotherapy, everyone looks at you like you’re crazy.
In the summer of 2014, I myself felt a lump in my chest. The doctor told me that I have nodular mastopathy, I was not afraid and did not begin to treat. The diagnosis was made incorrectly. Then I went to Iran, where they also told me that everything was fine, they prescribed some vitamins, which, as it later turned out, accelerated the development of the disease. They were absolutely forbidden to drink. As a result, the oncology department told me that I was already at stage 3 with metastases. We went to Turkey, the doctor said there was suspicion of cancer, and on the third day he performed surgery on me.
After the operation, when I woke up and saw my husband in tears, I began to reassure him that this is not the end of the world, and you came to support me, but on the contrary, you are already burying me.
I understood that this was not the end of the world, this was not everything. My mission did not end here, I did not break. I don’t know, on the contrary, I became stronger, I fell in love with life. All my life I was dissatisfied with everything, I complained, I was tired of everything, everything was wrong. When God sent me this illness, I took it as a lesson, as a worthy lesson, I was convinced that he gave it to me for a reason, and everything is not so bad, it turns out. You probably had to experience this to understand.
When you sit and complain that you don’t have a second pair of shoes, or another coat, the latest phone, and then, when every 21st day you give 2000 manats for medicine, you understand that this is not the main thing. Everyone who gets sick changes something in life, I began to love myself more, to look after myself, which I have never done before.
I thought about the children, about what they would do without me. But most of all, Turkish doctors supported me. For example, when I came to the doctor here (in Azerbaijan), he asked if I was taking antidepressants, I said no. He was surprised and said that I didn’t look like patients. I remember I saw a girl in very poor condition, she looks at me and asks how I can do this. How can I sit and laugh while wearing red lipstick. She was surprised that I also had cancer.
In Turkey they have a different attitude, I have met many women and they all take it as an exam.
I believe that women are strong. We attract everything. This disease can also arise from stress, as it falls the immune system. I will not call myself a winner, I am still continuing treatment and this will continue for 5 years.
Olga Khodko, Tbilisi
I was 31 when this disease was discovered. I had a difficult relationship with my husband, he is a very impulsive person, these constant emotional swings, nerves, I am more inclined to this reason. Although I had the first stage, it was in a very aggressive form.
The doctor was 90% sure that it was benign, but it turned out to be a malignant tumor. She was growing quickly, so she had surgery within a week. This was 3 years ago. Cancer today is very young, and in young people it progresses faster.
The doctor asked me to sit down and the only thing he said was that I had a long treatment process ahead of me. He said that I have malignant tumor, and gave guarantees that I would recover. But naturally I had state of shock, I seemed to smile, but tears rolled up. Of course it was a shame.
I was very angry with my friends who felt sorry for me. I saw horror, fear, pity, tears in their eyes. My husband assured me that I was being deceived, that these were not my tests. It turned out that they were not calming me down, but I was calming them down.
The most difficult thing in this process is the chemistry. After that I went bald for a year. My immunity dropped to 0, I started using folk remedies, drank liters of carrot juice.
Then the idea came up - to go and get a license. My husband promised to buy a car, so I was distracted by this.
I understood that there was no way to die, I had a husband, children, parents, I felt this responsibility on myself.
Nana Lazariashvili, Tbilisi
In 2010, I was at the Screening Center and was diagnosed with cancer. I had a partial removal and 8 chemo treatments.
I thought there were even worse cases when there was no way out. At such a moment, the most important thing is psychological resilience. A person needs not only health, but also psychological strength. Before the operation, I did makeup and styled my hair, although of course, during the operation, my makeup was removed, but after the operation I immediately put it on again. Even after chemo, I didn’t lie down, got up and went straight to work.
Then I got into the Gamarjoba club, a club for women who had cancer. I made a lot of friends here. Here we have love and friends, we know better what life is and appreciate it more.
Examination in our center is free, but after 40 years. Both doctors and psychologists work here. In addition, we, the members of this club, meet every two weeks and enjoy life, go to the theater, dances, excursions, theater and cinema, we know each other’s birthday and try to celebrate. There are already 300 people in our club. Together - we are force. 5 years ago, all this was not available in Georgia, but now it is all free, and starting in February, immunostimulants will be distributed free of charge. They are very expensive, people sold their apartments to pay for them. One bottle costs about 5,000 lari, when you need from 5 to 18. The state has created a program, and from the first of February this drug will be financed by the state.
I think this is the minimum that can happen in our lives. It’s not because of stress, it’s not even because of what. The main thing is that every woman should be checked once a year, especially after 30. A woman should love herself. You can’t grieve, you have to fight and be strong.
I lived in Kaliningrad, my husband died, and I was left with two children. For several years I treated mastopathy, but since their medicine is weak, they had to take tests and send me to St. Petersburg. When my chest had already turned blue, the doctor told me that I was already one foot in the next world. The son was 5 years old, and the daughter was in school. When the doctor told me this, I felt like the ground was leaving under my feet. I look at the child and understand that it is impossible to cry and lose consciousness. On the same day, I took the child’s documents from school and came home. Here they immediately performed surgery; there was already a metastasis. I went through 6 chemo treatments and 25 radiation treatments.
After chemo, I couldn’t even sleep, I kept thinking about what would happen to me if I died, what they would do, because I had no one. I knew that I shouldn't die. In the Caucasus, when someone is sick, all relatives come to the hospital. I came myself and told the doctor that no one will come to you, since I have no one. To which he replied that I would live happily ever after. Of course, I couldn’t lie down for a long time, I have small children, then I got on a program where they gave me an apartment. It's been 6 years since I had surgery.
Cancer is not a death sentence. There is a worse disease than cancer. If you do everything the doctor says and boost your immunity, you will recover faster. When you love life everything is fine.
Read! Look! Listen!Today 18:22 Today 17:39 Today 17:05 Today 16:08 Today 15:25 Today 14:13 Today 13:37 Today 12:40 Today 10:24 Today 9:49 Yesterday 18:31 Yesterday 18:11 Yesterday 16 :38
Today my guest is a woman who has experienced a diagnosis. She asked not to give her name. This is the story she told.
I am 44 years old. I work as a manager at kindergarten since 2008. Previously worked in the Department of Education and Science. Started my professional activity from the age of 18 from the position of a teacher in a kindergarten.
Diagnosis of cancer was delivered in October 2010. RMJ. The disease came unexpectedly and, like many, I didn’t believe it.
Since I was 18 years old, I have been seeing oncologists at a local dispensary. Found lumps in the chest when passing a medical examination to apply for a job. For many years I took medications prescribed by doctors.
After the birth of my daughter at 24, my left breast always bothered me. I was filled with milk, felt heaviness, and had lumps. I really regret that I didn’t pump on time then, there was a lot of trouble with a small child. The daughter was restless, slept poorly, or rather slept for 15 minutes until she was six months old. At that time auto. there were no washing machines or diapers. My husband was at work until late in the evening, and my mother came to help whenever possible.
Chest pain.
In December 2008 I felt left chest pain. I contacted a mammologist. Surgery to remove nodular mastopathy was recommended. But then I had just started a new position. I felt great responsibility. It was interesting. Not just with a new female team.
What will they think of me if I go on sick leave?
I found a new mammologist who was an ardent opponent surgical treatment, although he is a doctor of sciences. He had punctures regularly, once every six months, and everything seemed fine. How he reassured me, because fibroadenoma cannot always turn into cancer.
But in 2010, something alarmed me. My mother died of cancer in 2001 at the age of 53. The source was never found. MTS in spinal cord. Also a different story. Osteochondrosis was treated for a long time until the loved one was able to get back on his feet. She was bedridden for six months. She died painfully. Enough time has passed, but I can’t write without tears. VERY HARD. Sometimes I think, maybe they still looked at the tumor in the chest?? And this is my hereditary cancer??
Mom was also always monitored, had regular pelvic ultrasounds (early menopause, frequent bleeding), etc. My maternal grandmother also died of uterine cancer at the age of 76. Painful death. That's why mom asked special attention on the pelvic organs.
Before going on vacation to Italy in September 2010, I went back to my oncology clinic and decided to change my alternative doctor. I did an ultrasound, a mammogram, a puncture from the nodes was taken for cytological analysis, I donated blood for tumor markers - nothing showed Evil. I went to rest peacefully, having signed up for surgery upon arrival. Thanks to Dr. Vasilyeva, who insisted on the operation. She convinced me. Thank God I heard her. Somehow she didn’t like my nipple on my left breast. He was drawn in a little.
Diagnosis of cancer...
On October 8, the express method showed cancer on the operating table!! It was very difficult for me to come out of the state of anesthesia. Was nearby Native sister. I insisted on calling the doctor and explaining why I felt so bad. The manager operated on me. department by agreement. He announced the diagnosis to me. I didn't believe it. I sent my glasses to the RORC in Kashirka in Moscow for review. And he himself advised me. Long days of waiting. Thanks to my friend in Moscow. She has helped me a lot so far. A true friend. We studied with her in ped. school. She graduated from university in Moscow and stayed there.
When the diagnosis was confirmed, I stopped eating, I felt sick, I couldn’t find a place for myself. Nobody could calm me down. There was complete despair. The psychologist at the oncology clinic also could not help me, I felt young doctor a lot of our own problems, in general, we practically switched roles. I talked her over. I had answers to all her arguments.
Only my own aunt, who has no children of her own, found the key to me. She cooked specially for me, came to feed me, and walked with me. Low bow to her. She revealed to me a secret that her cousin (who lives in Baku) had it too. And she lives for many years. It was an unexpected surprise for me. I calmed down a little. I began to prepare for the second operation. It took me a long time to decide what to do: a sectional or a mastectomy. Breasts are small. When the doctor said, okay, if it shows up again next year, we’ll remove it. Well, no, I thought. And I decided to delete it completely.
I really regret that my husband did not give me the opportunity to leave for Israel. I would do one-step plastic surgery. Now it's very difficult. It will have to be done in two stages.
Immunohistochemistry was done in Moscow. Breast cancer T2N0M0, hormone dependent.
In Astrakhan, head. The chemotherapy department convinced me that I didn’t need chemotherapy. She prescribed tamoxifen. Rays are also not needed, because they are in the upper outer square.
Six months later, I recovered a little from the operation and went for a consultation at the Russian Cancer Research Center in Moscow. There they prescribed me Zoladex. Thanks to your group (group “this is not a sentence.” Author’s note). I learned a lot. Including about Zoladex for hormone-dependent cancer, given my still young age.
Thanks again for creating the group. At that time it was serious informational and emotional support. I understood that I was not alone with such trouble. The city is small, I don’t want many people to know. It's easier to tell a person who doesn't know you.
I quickly went to work. This also distracts me from all illnesses.
I really regret that I didn’t have the operation, then in 2008, maybe I could have avoided the trouble.
Life after treatment.
Before my illness, I always wanted to be the first everywhere, the best. I was acutely worried about all the children’s problems. garden, worked until 10 p.m., did not spare herself and demanded such an attitude towards the work of all employees.
Of course, there were conflicts, there was a lot of trouble, struggle, I sued the cooks, demanding impeccable discipline (no theft).
After my illness, I understood a lot. You don't have to be first. No one will remember you if suddenly you are gone. There are no irreplaceables.
Now I calmly, at least I try, to treat work. I feel sorry for myself. And now I'm on sick leave. ARVI. The truth was difficult. High intoxication of the body.
I try to argue and quarrel less with my husband, and with everyone. I solve everything peacefully. Became a little more cunning. Probably life forced me.
I began to actively visit the pool. For the hand we need. However, I’ve already missed yoga for six months. I scold myself. We need to improve. I do hardware lymphatic drainage. Thank you, I saw it in the photo.
I began to devote less to cleanliness and cleaning of the house. Previously, the gene exhausted itself. cleaning. I stick with it healthy eating. I don't skimp on fruit. In general, I began to love myself more and appreciate every minute.
You are alone!
I would like to wish everyone in the block to never despair and love themselves.
The doc helped me. the film “Anti-Cancer” by Ekaterina Gordeeva on NTV and an American doctor.
Yes, I forgot, on October 8, 2010, I had surgery on 2 breasts. A fibroadenoma was confirmed in the right one. And now she has grown again. This worries me. I will go for control in March. Once every six months, as long as I can, I do a PET scan in Moscow. In May it showed accumulation of the substance in the area of the postoperative scar. I experienced fear again. In Astrakhan they excised. Thank God it's a granuloma.
I wish you and your family good health for many years to come.
There is 1 comment on the post "Breast cancer. Your real stories"
Good day everyone!
I underwent surgery to remove a breast tumor.
She underwent surgery to remove a benign tumor, but while removing it, the doctors found another bad one (((.
I didn’t believe this diagnosis and, like everyone else, I was for a long time in depression.
But after completing 4 courses of chemotherapy, I realized that nothing happens in life for nothing and we ourselves are to blame for our illnesses.
And the worst ones come to us precisely when it is urgently time to change something in life.
This scar (or rather the absence of breasts) now constantly reminds me that I need to live, and not exist. Live life to the fullest, love yourself, those around you, don’t get nervous over trifles and don’t get angry. After all, everything in life can be solved. Life is designed to alternate between difficulty and success. Naturally, we are not robots and are always worried about something. But we must look for positive moments even in the worst. For example: You can’t get to work because of a traffic jam or your neighbor detained you. You are nervous, scolding everyone around you. You are late for an important meeting. The body is constrained and under stress. And now you are at your goal, you run in, the meeting is over, you decide everything, you are on time... And on the evening news you see that just at the very time when you were distracted by a neighbor or a traffic jam, the road collapsed in the area where you were supposed to go and you died People. What will you think at these moments? “Thank you Lord!”
So: LOOK FOR THE POSITIVE IN EVERYTHING!!!
More than 2.5 years have passed. I am undergoing examinations like everyone else after such a sore. And so they prescribed me a scintigraphy of the skeletal bones.
I looked for where to make it on the Internet. I came across this site. Thank you for describing in detail how to prepare and what to do next. The doctor who did the examination didn’t even tell me anything about water.
After going through this examination, I decided to write.
I lay under the device for 30 minutes, and in total it was more than 1.5 hours.
After the scan, the diagnostic doctor showed me that there were clean bones everywhere, but in the area of the left cheekbone dark spot. I said that it couldn’t be meth, because... Having read a lot of literature, I understood that this could not happen in the cheekbone. Unless, of course, I am some kind of unique exhibit))).
But the doctor clearly said that this is also a bone! And anything can happen! and so on. words.
He said: Let me look at this particular place on the device again. I watched for an hour or more. I don’t know what he was looking for there. But while I was lying there, I was very nervous and worried. He didn't do anything to calm me down. I asked what to do. And he advised to undergo further examination: CT, MRI, Biopsy….
It was a sleepless night. But when I woke up in the morning, I felt calm and even some kind of joy. For a minute it seemed to me that I just started living differently again, I was capricious, depressed over trifles, and nervous. God gave me these worries so that it’s just time to think again. There is ME, my LIFE. The rest is all solved!
I did a CT scan. The pictures showed that everything was clean and correct. And the doctor was understanding, he didn’t scare me, but rather encouraged me.
And I am writing all this so that you are not afraid of the diagnosis. Never and None! We can handle anything! Everything comes from us, from our thoughts.
Be HEALTHY and HAPPY!!! And also LOVE GOD, YOURSELF and EVERYTHING AROUND YOU!!!
TURN TURN UP, HAPPINESS IS NEAR! YOU HAVE TO WANT IT STRONGLY! AND THE MAIN THING IS TO UNDERSTAND CLEARLY WHAT YOU WANT! THEN GOD WILL DEFINITELY GIVE IT TO YOU!
I also recommend reading Lance Armstrong’s book “My Return to Life”
They have faced breast cancer or its threat face to face and talk about it without hesitation - in order to encourage others to be more attentive to their health. Their voices merge with the voices of millions of women around the world who have overcome this disease.
CYNTHIA NIXON
"Fighting cancer is hard. Watching someone you love do it is even harder. I know what I'm talking about because I've been on both sides.
The only thing you really have to fear is giving in to fear. You should be afraid not of what the mammogram will show, but of the fact that you may not go for it.”
Star of the series "Sex in big city"Cynthia Nixon first heard about breast cancer as a child, when her mother Ann Knoll was diagnosed with it. Ann beat the cancer, and when it came back, she did it again. Cynthia herself got breast cancer at the age of 40. Having dealt with it, she Nixon says that her mother’s experience also helped her recover: she learned to trust herself and her feelings and not be afraid to ask questions about her health.
BETTY FORD
“Yesterday everything was fine, and today I’m in the hospital and I’m having a mastectomy. I thought then about how many women could also find themselves in this situation. And I decided to speak openly about my illness - for the sake of those people whose lives could be affected.” at risk Through my experience and open discussion about breast cancer, many women have learned about self-examination, the need regular visits see your doctor about a mammogram. All of this is incredibly important.
It was easier for me to accept the operation because I had been married for 26 years and my husband and I raised four children. I had love, care, attention. But many women don't have such emotional resources. Therefore, we must also not remain silent about fears associated with breast cancer.It is normal to worry about the physical imperfections that breast cancer leaves behind. And honestly. When I asked myself: is it better to lose right hand or breasts, I thought that it would be better if it were breasts.
Cancer cripples not only the body, but also the soul. And the best doctors in the world do not know how to treat the soul. Only love and understanding can do this."
Wife of US President Gerald Ford became one of the first women in the world to speak openly about breast cancer. She underwent a mastectomy in 1974 and encouraged her compatriots to be checked annually by a mammologist. And many followed her advice! In 1976, doctors told Ford that she was completely cured of cancer.
ANGELINA JOLIE
"I don't feel like I've lost what makes me a woman. My choices have made me stronger and they in no way diminish my femininity.
The decision to have a mastectomy was not easy for me. But I'm glad I did it. I can tell my children that they no longer have to fear losing me to breast cancer."
In 2013, the actress agreed to a preventative double mastectomy after doctors diagnosed her with an 87 percent chance of breast cancer, and wrote an essay about it. Last year, Jolie also underwent surgery to remove her ovaries.
KYLIE MINOGUE
"The important thing to remember when battling cancer is that you are still the same person. It is a completely soul-baring experience. And most cancer survivors feel they know themselves better than before."
The singer was 36 years old when doctors discovered she had breast cancer; she was at the height of her success and was touring the world with concerts as part of a major tour. The performances had to be interrupted immediately. Minogue underwent a partial mastectomy and underwent a six-month course of chemotherapy. And she was completely cured.
MAGGIE SMITH
“Cancer, you know, has its advantages. My chemotherapy, for example, pleased the Harry Potter make-up artists - putting on a wig is much easier when there is not a single hair on your head.”
British film legend and two-time Oscar winner Maggie Smith learned that she had breast cancer during the filming of the sixth installment of Potter. Despite the serious diagnosis and depression after chemotherapy, Smith did not give up filming. She was able to overcome the disease. “Cancer takes away everyone’s strength. But now I’m starting to feel human again,” she said when she went into remission. “The energy is returning.”
CHRISTINA APPLEGATE
“I have never laughed so much in my life as I did in the hospital. I laughed at the strange things that were happening in my life. Friends came to me with sour faces, and I told them: “Well, what are you doing? It's not the end of the world!"
Sometimes I cried. Sometimes she screamed. I was angry. I was drowning in self-pity. And all of this became part of my healing."
In 2008, the American actress was diagnosed with breast cancer - fortunately, at an early stage. Christina had a double mastectomy and gave birth two years later. Her mother Nancy also had cancer and beat it. In 2009, Applegate founded charitable foundation Right Action for Women, which organizes screenings for women.
SHARYL CROWE
“The only person who can save you is yourself. I will remember this lesson for the rest of my life.”
The singer, a nine-time Grammy Award winner, defeated breast cancer, which was discovered in her early stages in 2003.
INGRID BERGMAN
"The time allotted to me is becoming less and less. But every day that I live in the fight against cancer, I consider it a victory."
The legendary actress, ranked 4th on the American Film Institute's list of the 100 Greatest Movie Stars of 100 Years, was diagnosed with breast cancer at age 58. She fought the disease for 9 years, underwent surgery to remove her left mammary gland, and then her right one, but all these years she continued to do what she loved.
LAIMA VAIKULE
“Would I be who I am now if it weren’t for the disease? I don’t think so.
This last step in understanding the disease makes a person extremely open, ready for love: you value your mother, you value your family, you value every minute when you are with them. The expression “the soul is open” is not even a completely accurate expression. More precisely, you learn to live to the fullest, for everyone, but for yourself you are already in last place. However, the problem of time appears: you no longer know how to do something fluently, in passing. Every minute becomes important. And this minute is filled with incredible meaning when you hold the hand of someone infinitely dear.”
The singer fell ill with breast cancer in 1991, underwent surgery, chemotherapy, and went through severe depression. Vaikule coped, returned to full life and went on stage again.
DARYA DONTSOVA
“I got out of bed, went to the window and pressed my forehead against the cold glass. Well, breast cancer, let's see who eats who!
It was at that moment that it became clear to me: a new stage was beginning in life. I've come a long way. At first I didn’t want to believe that I was sick, I cried, complained about the difficult ordeal, and hoped that a good fairy would fly in from nowhere, wave her magic wand, and I would become healthy. Then she was afraid of cancer and, thus, allowed it to become the main event in her life, she herself put the disease on a pedestal. I was weak, cowardly, scared to the point of trembling in my knees. I didn’t hear my husband’s sensible words, I didn’t accept statements about the curability of the disease. To be honest, I reveled in suffering. I so enjoyed feeling sorry for myself, scratching my moral wounds! But now I have come to understand that I am not weak, not poor, not unhappy, not wretched, but I am capable of living calmly with the disease, not submitting to it, and in the end I will certainly recover. Why? Yes, because oncology is curable. There is another answer: I won’t die of breast cancer because I don’t want to die. I have no right. It’s too early for me to go to the next world, I have a lot to do.” Conduct a self-examination.
It is equally important to talk about the need for regular checks with family members, friends, and colleagues. Many women still don’t know how common breast cancer is, don’t realize they may be at risk, and believe there’s no point in going to the doctor if there’s nothing bothering them.
Avon has been raising awareness of breast cancer for over 20 years. different countries worldwide, is working to make diagnosis and information about this disease available to women of all ages. Over the years of work of the Avon charity program “Together against breast cancer” in Kazakhstan, more than 2,500,000 women have learned about cancer prevention and methods of its treatment.
This year, Avon launched the #stepsoflife relay. She has already been supported by presenters Kirill Meister, Alena Petrova, actors Erden Telemisov, Aisulu Azimbaeva and other Kazakh celebrities. Join the movement! Using the hashtag #lifesteps, find Avon posts with the photo “Steps to life: together against breast cancer,” repost and pass the baton to your friends by tagging them in the comments. And, of course, back up your words with actions: make an appointment with a mammologist right now!
This happened seven years ago. I was 36. One day I felt some kind of lump in my chest. My husband urged me to go to the doctor, but I was afraid and calmed myself down. Three months before, we had undergone examinations when we were collecting documents to become adoptive parents, and there were no problems.
A friend advised me to apply a downy scarf at night: they say, it’s probably a cyst that will resolve on its own. I did this a couple of times, but on the third night I woke up with the realization: this is wrong. I realized that the lump was getting bigger. Moreover, a lump appeared under the armpit.
The next day I went to the doctor and from his worried face I immediately realized that everything was serious. An ultrasound confirmed my worst fears: it was not a wen or a cyst, but a tumor. When I was given a referral to the oncology clinic, I experienced panic fear. I didn’t even know where he was, but it always seemed to me: if you get there, it’s death. None of my friends had cancer. I haven't had anything more serious than the flu. In her youth, she was a tomboy, rode a motorcycle, played football, led an active lifestyle and never went to the doctor.
There will be a scar
At the dispensary they took a puncture and five days later the doctor informed me that I needed to undergo surgery. The words “cancer” or “oncology” were not mentioned. They simply told me: “Get tested quickly, you need to have your breast removed.” I asked: “What will happen in her place?” And the doctor quietly answered: “Scar.”
I had so many questions. Why? What to do next? I have a family - a husband, three children (14, 12 and 11 years old). We have big plans, we wanted to go on vacation and celebrate our 15th wedding anniversary. And most importantly, we were going to adopt four children, we were visiting them in orphanage, we had all the documents ready.
I asked: why did God allow this? What did you mean by this? Maybe it's the word "STOP" in big red letters? A signal that these children should not be taken? After all, friends, twirling their fingers at their temples, said: “These are the children of alcoholics and drug addicts with bad genetics. Do you want to take a piece of bread from your own children and divide it among everyone?”
On Monday, December 1st, I received a referral for examinations before the operation, and on Friday I arrived at the hospital with all the results. The doctors didn’t even believe that I did everything in a few days.
Many people have a moment of bargaining with themselves. I almost gave up on surgery
On the morning of December 7, I had to go to the hospital. And then doubts crept in: maybe the operation is not needed? What if they were wrong and it’s not cancer at all? During the examinations, I was told that there were no metastases in the heart or bones. Or maybe God will heal me without doctors? I want to warn all women against these thoughts. Many people experience this moment of trading with themselves. I almost refused the operation.
As a believer, I went to church with my doubts. The clergyman told me: “No, child, you will go to the hospital and do whatever the doctors tell you.” He prayed over me, anointed me with oil and blessed me: “We have done everything that can be done before God. Give to God what is God's, and to Caesar what is Caesar's. Go and trust the doctors. God controls their hands." I hastily threw my things into my bag, and my husband took me to the hospital.
I didn’t negotiate with anyone, I didn’t choose a doctor. I decided: let whoever God sends do it, and ended up with the head of the department. Just before the operation I asked her: “Do me good.” I will never forget her answer: “We do everything the same for everyone. But some live for a very long time, while others leave. And no one knows why this happens."
Crisis and humility
When you end up in a hospital with such a diagnosis, you reevaluate your whole life. You start to love every day. You rejoice in both the snow and the sunshine. You understand how many insignificant things seemed important. Why all this envy, gossip, gossip? Why worry about what you're wearing and what others think of you? It becomes a pity for wasted time. In oncology, everyone cries at night. Everyone goes to their own pillow.
My husband supported me: he came every day and helped with everything. We have become one. And one day I told him: “Don’t make an idol out of me. Promise that if anything happens to me, you will marry again. If not for yourself, then for the sake of the children. After all, life must go on." He was indignant, but I mentally already let him go.
And on the ninth day after the operation, a crisis occurred. In the evening, on the way to the dressing room, I lost consciousness twice. Then the temperature rose, the body shook. And my roommates - there were nine of us - covered me with their blankets. At that moment I had already resigned myself and prepared to die. I decided that I would die with gratitude.
I didn’t feel my body, I felt like a speck of the universe
It was only difficult to mentally say goodbye to the children. I reassured myself: God would take care of them. But I regretted that I wouldn’t see my daughters grow up and I wouldn’t share them with them. women's secrets, I won’t fasten them Wedding Dresses and I won’t help babysit the children. I understood that no one would love them as much as I do. But I realized that I am grateful to fate for everything. Not everyone saw as much happiness as I had. I didn’t feel my body, I felt like a speck of the universe. And at that moment I was struck by a thought that came out of nowhere: “This is appendicitis, which was cut out, and it will not happen again.”
With this I fell asleep. I woke up when everyone was asleep. In the window I saw the paws of pine trees covered with snow and the soft light of lanterns. I stood up, quietly walked past the nurse sleeping at the post to the dressing room and never fell. At that moment I realized that I would live.
You don't need beautiful hair in a coffin
In the morning, the doctor explained that my lymph drainage tube was clogged. This provoked a crisis, but it passed.
The next day, December 16th, was our 15th wedding anniversary. At lunchtime the nurse came and asked if I wanted to go home. Actually, it was too early to discharge me, but the oncology clinic was overcrowded. Operated patients lay in the corridors. I lived nearby and could come for dressings, but patients from other cities in the region could not. Many, in response to a request to vacate the place early, were indignant: “That’s not possible! Nobody needs us." And I was very happy that I was allowed to go home, especially on my husband’s holiday.
Histology showed that the tumor was malignant, I was prescribed 25 sessions of radiotherapy and 6 sessions of chemotherapy. At first I refused it: I read on the Internet that chemicals cause hair loss, liver damage, and cancer can be cured proper nutrition and herbs. But a few days later a lump popped up on my neck. I thought it was metastases and ran to the doctor in panic. She reassured me that this happens after breast removal. But she began to scold me for refusing chemistry.
“You definitely need to undergo chemotherapy. Not needed in the coffin healthy liver And beautiful hair»
Still doubting, I went to Moscow for a consultation with a famous professor. She confirmed all the appointments and sternly said: “You definitely need to undergo chemotherapy. You don’t need a healthy liver and beautiful hair in a coffin.” This argument worked.
No matter how much I hoped to keep my hair, by the third week it fell out. I signed up for a salon where they train future hairdressers so that someone could practice on my hair, and there I shaved my head. I put on a wig and went to Parent meeting. It turned out that I worried in vain. No one even noticed my “transformation”.
Support
Before the third chemotherapy, I felt fine and continued to work as a cook in the canteen. She hid the wig in the locker, put on a cap and smiled to herself: “The best cook is a bald cook: hair definitely won’t get into the food.” My husband tried to persuade me to quit, but it was important to me that I was busy all day, which meant there was simply no time for tears and bad thoughts. Besides, cooking for 350 people and distributing food is good exercise stress, which disperses lymph.
At night, of course, I cried into my pillow and read the Psalter. I loved Psalm 126, which says “unless God preserves the city, the watchman watches in vain.” In other words, everything is God's will. This calmed me down. And still, you wake up in the morning, look out the window and think: “What a good day, and I have cancer.”
Doctors did not give any prognosis. And this uncertainty lost ground under our feet. I was afraid to make plans for my life.
I asked: “Will I have these too?” And everyone smiled: “Your hair will grow, don’t worry.”
One day at the oncology clinic I saw an advertisement for a mutual aid group “ Women Health" Psychologist support, swimming pool, water aerobics - all free. I wrote down the phone number hotline, but for a long time I did not dare to call. What new can I learn? How can they support me? I already know everything. And yet one day I dialed the number. A woman who beat breast cancer answered me. It was such a joy to talk to her heart to heart. She understood me, consoled me, advised me. She knew how I felt because she had been through it all herself.
I started going to the pool with other women like me. I remember the first time I was worried about how I was going to change clothes, since I had a scar. But everyone there is like that. Some don't have breasts at all. And only part of me was removed. They put on swimsuits, talk, laugh, and share their everyday problems. Some people are already growing their hair: some have a crew cut, like a rookie, others already have curls. And I asked: “Will I have these too?” And everyone smiled: “Your hair will grow, don’t worry.” They looked at me like a little sister, with tenderness and love.
Then I went to a group meeting and saw women who live after breast cancer for 5, 10, 15 years. One is already 22 years old! For me it was some kind of fantasy. I didn’t know what I could count on myself.
Life goes on
After that group meeting, I told my husband: “We have to take the child. Even if I only live five years, a lot can be done in that time.” And my husband said that he also thought about it. It turned out that the children we wanted to take before the illness (Maxim, 7 years old, and Denis, 4.5 years old) were still waiting for us. This time we didn’t tell anyone about our plans so as not to be dissuaded.
Our children were very happy about their new brothers, they immediately gave them all the toys and began to look after them. They became proof that I was fine and that I would live. And again, I had no time to cry and think about bad things: Denis, at 4.5 years old, was very small, weighed 12 kilograms and needed care. He was afraid to be alone, I carried him in my arms all the time. Put me to bed like infant, sang songs that she knew.
Then we decided to take another child. We liked the boy Vova, 8 years old. But it turned out that he has brothers 9 and 10 years old. On the one hand, we did not expect such an age. On the other hand, they understood that no one would take three children, and it was impossible to separate them.
So we had eight children. Now I have been deregistered, but every year I go to the oncology clinic for diagnostics. I became a volunteer for the Women's Health group. We visit women after surgery, bring gifts, talk and tell our stories. My task is to explain to them that they must listen to doctors, not be afraid of anything, follow all instructions and overcome the disease - in spirit, in soul and in body.
#I'M PASSED
As part of World Breast Cancer Month, Philips and Women's Health are continuing their annual social campaign #I'M PASSED.
In October, a charity documentary film by Leonid Parfenov and Katerina Gordeeva about the fight against breast cancer will be presented and free diagnostic examinations for women throughout Russia. The film tells real stories with the main goal of inspiring as many Russian women as possible to take care of their own health. One of the heroines of the film was Svetlana.
Watch the film trailer.
Detailed information about the campaign and surveys is available on the website.
My mother had breast cancer four years ago. She herself discovered a tumor - a lump in her breast. I went to a mammologist in Moscow, and when my fears were confirmed, I immediately went to Germany. I was living in England at the time, and she didn’t tell me anything about the illness so that I wouldn’t worry. She just said she was moving. For our family, this is nothing special: my mother lived in different countries, traveled a lot for work and for pleasure. But then my mother transferred all our property to me. This is where I got worried. “Mom, what happened?” - “I got sick and don’t feel well, it’s hard for me to keep track of things, banking and work now, so I’m rewriting everything to you - sort it out yourself.”
Since this disease progresses differently in everyone, doctors do not use the concept of stages. But you can get your bearings: there is initial stage, when the tumor is up to one centimeter, then when it is larger, but still without lymph nodes. Then the second A - when one lymph node is involved, the second B - these are two or three lymph nodes. On the third, all the lymph nodes around are affected. On the fourth stage metastases appear. My mother had a pre-metastatic condition. Her entire chest was affected.
The chemotherapy worked so well on her that the tumor resolved. After the first operation, only a small piece where the tumor was was removed. The mammary gland was not touched. But then, just in case, they decided to have a second operation, and to prevent the cancer from returning, they removed the breasts and installed implants. It seems to me that they are like this now good quality that the person himself does not feel the difference.
My mother recovered. Before her illness, she was in control of everything: God forbid she drinks an extra glass of wine, God forbid she oversleeps during a workout at 7 am. She never allowed herself to deviate from the regime or eat too much. Now she is completely different - much more relaxed and cheerful, she wants to go everywhere and see everything.
Diagnosis
Mom started chasing me regular examinations, and once every six months I did an ultrasound. I didn’t like it then, but now I think that every person should be examined.
Last year, during one of my examinations, a tumor was discovered. Small, about one centimeter. They did a biopsy - this is when they pierce the chest with a syringe and take a puncture from the tumor. In the conclusion that the laboratory wrote, tumor cells there were, but it is not clear what type. Mom thought that the Russian laboratory had made a mistake. We went to Germany. We had a mammogram. The doctor said that at my age (I was 25 at the time) it was impossible for me to have cancer, but benign tumors- the norm. We relaxed and forgot about it for two months.
When they say that you have cancer, the first feeling is: everything inside is falling, the world has collapsed. But then nothing. I went on a date that same evening to take my mind off
At this time, I was planning a trip around the world - I saved money for a year, found a volunteer organization where I was supposed to teach English. Five days before departure, when I had already packed my suitcase, my mother asked me to come to Germany again for examination - for her peace of mind. The tumor has already grown, the cancer has spread to the lymph nodes. The doctor said that everything looked very bad and that he needed treatment.
When they say that you have cancer, the first feeling is: everything inside is falling, the world has collapsed. But then nothing. I went on a date that same evening to take my mind off things. Had a great time. Then, when my hair had already fallen out, I told this boy: “I’m sorry, I can’t see you because my hair has already fallen out. Let's see you when they grow back." And we correspond with him once a month, he asks if our date is still valid.
How is cancer treated?
The attending physician told me about our plan. There is only one chemo in the entire world that is used on all breast cancer patients. At first, the so-called once every three weeks is heavy chemistry, you need to go through it four times. Then once a week for three months - Taxol. This is already easier. Then they perform an operation and fix the effect with radiation. But everything depends on the results. If the chemistry doesn’t work, then the course is interrupted and you have surgery, they can remove your breasts.
The first thing I needed to do before starting therapy was to freeze my eggs, because after treatment there was a risk of remaining infertile. I gave myself hormonal injections in my stomach for two weeks. It doesn't hurt, but it's strange and scary. My eggs felt like they were growing: my stomach was swollen, it was uncomfortable to walk. Then a 15-minute operation and you're done. After it, I passed all possible tests in one day. They injected me with contrast fluid and scanned my entire body to see everything. cancer cells and whether there are metastases. The tumor was marked with metal staples in order to then monitor how it shrinks, and so that if it resolves due to chemotherapy, they would know what part of the tissue to remove during surgery.
The chemotherapy is an IV, but it is not injected into a vein in the arm, but through a port - a plastic box in the area of the collarbone - into the vein that goes to the heart. During each procedure, the skin is pierced with a special needle, into which a dropper is already inserted. Therefore, the next step was to install a port for me. This is also an operation, under local anesthesia. They fence you off with a screen so that you don’t look or be afraid, but you can talk to the doctor. He tells you: “Now I’m cutting you open, now I’m looking for a vein to your heart. Oh, I found it! I’m putting the phone in.” But you really really want to talk, because under anesthesia it seems that everything is great, there are no problems - it’s wonderfully simple.
The next day you come to your first chemistry session. Thus, it takes about three weeks from diagnosis to treatment, but the clinic tries to do everything as quickly as possible. We even had one piece of paper missing for billing, but this did not affect the start of treatment: bring it when you want, pay when you can. The Germans do not require papers or evidence at all - they always meet halfway. For example, I received a residence permit. I explained to the employee that I needed treatment. He took it in a comradely way: “Oh, you poor thing, let me run and collect all the papers, since you don’t speak German, I’ll arrange everything for you myself, I’ll call all the institutions for you and do everything.” And so it was in everything.
We also chose Germany because, oddly enough, with an Israeli passport it is cheaper here than in Israel. The entire treatment cost around 5 thousand euros, and I saved even more for the trip. We had money. It would be possible to meet the sum of 20 thousand euros - it would be enough to sell the car.
Chemotherapy
You cannot eat the day before chemotherapy. It is believed that this will make you feel less sick. Although theoretically the only thing you can’t do during treatment is grapefruit juice (I don’t know why), everything else depends on how you feel. Smoke it if you want, drink it if you want, whatever you want. I just don’t really want anything.
The area where everyone comes for chemotherapy is like a spa: large chairs, candles and aromatherapy lamps. Patients gather at approximately the same time, all in good mood, because each chemotherapy is minus one point in the treatment plan, this is closer to recovery.
The girls, mostly, however, all 50–60 years old, are discussing who has what symptoms and how they are feeling. If you don’t want to sit, you can walk with an IV throughout the hospital. Yes, I feel a little nauseous and my head is cloudy, but nothing supernatural or terrible.
To prevent my hair from falling out, I decided to do a “cooling cap” during chemotherapy. This new technology, she is only two years old. The hat is large and connected to all sorts of sensors, so you can’t walk around with it. You put it on half an hour before chemotherapy and take it off two hours after it ends, that is, you sit in it for about seven hours. This is the worst thing. It's hellishly cold in there, so cold that it's worse than any pain, or anything at all: you can't run or jump to warm up. You sit and freeze. I did two treatments and my hair still fell out. The hat really helped my friend, but she couldn’t stand it more than six times.
Two hours after EC, when you’ve already arrived home, you feel incredibly ill. Terrible nausea, but you don’t vomit, your head and muscles hurt a lot, pain relief doesn’t work. You can't sleep. But after a few days everything goes away.
In a week, menopause begins. The body believes that it is dying and discards all unnecessary functions - reproductive functions in the first place. Hot flashes happen: when you are first unrealistically hot, then unrealistically cold. This is enough.
After EC, a course of Taxol began. It is dripped once a week. I came to the clinic, prepared that now, as usual, after the procedure I would feel bad. But it didn't. There is no nausea, on the contrary, I want to eat and sleep. After the first taxol, I slept for a day, but then I got used to it and slept like a normal person.
I was always craving bread and sweets. The hunger is terrible, but you can eat right away with chemotherapy - and that’s what everyone does. As a result, I lost 10 kg with EC, and gained it back on Taxol.
Normal life
My mother believes that a person is obliged to enjoy everything and do what needs to be done. My mother and I are friends, but I don’t need her support. I don’t need support at all - I can handle it just fine on my own. I am always glad to see my friends, I love them very much - someone came to see me almost every weekend. But I don’t need someone to sit next to me, look into my eyes and hold my hand. I need to be entertained, well, taken to a bar, for example.
I exercise a lot, and chemotherapy has not affected my training at all.
When you're in treatment, you don't constantly think, “Oh my God! I have cancer!" No, you live your normal life, you just come for treatments from time to time. It becomes a habit.
I started treatment in October, and in November I went to German courses - so I study the language four hours a day. I also keep my diary in German to practice.
I exercise a lot, and chemotherapy has not affected my training at all. Now I'm into CrossFit. The coaches all know that I do chemistry, but if I hadn’t said it, no one would have noticed. Nothing happens to your muscles, you may get tired faster if you walk around the city all day, but you are not weak, you don’t want to lie down all day. I just usually wanted to sleep not at 11, but at 9 pm.
Before chemo, I didn’t think hair was important. Just think, they will grow back. When they fell out, I was even glad - at least I won’t suffer in a cooling hat, I don’t need to bother with my hair: I put on a hat or scarf - and it’s good. But after some time it became difficult.
For example, when men stopped looking at me as a woman. I’m used to, for example, coming to a cafe and the waiter there is young. I tell him: “Bring me this.” And he said to me: “Yes, I’ll bring it to you quickly and also give you some candy for your coffee.” I don’t do it on purpose, that’s how I communicate. And now you flirt, and there is no backlash. It's a shame.
I wore a hat all the time and felt that people were looking and thinking: “Why are you wearing a hat?” I just bought a wig a month ago, it's an amazing thing. I hadn’t thought about it before only because my mother said it was hot and not comfortable.
Heavier than hair, lack of eyebrows and eyelashes. I dye my eyebrows all the time. Without them, or if I take off my makeup at all, I look like... like I have cancer.
During treatment, I traveled only twice. For Christmas I went to visit a friend in Hannover. This was difficult; you are still very tired for traveling. On New Year I wanted to go to Munich. But they told me to stay at home because the leukocyte level was immune cells- was very low and the risk of catching any disease was high. I called a friend: “This is how bad I feel. I’m alone for New Year, everyone will go to Munich, but I won’t.” He arrived the next day, but the first thing he said was: “I’m so sick, I’ll go to the pharmacy and buy an inhaler.” Naturally, I became infected.
Having cancer is very strange. Actually, you know how sick you are, you've been sick a hundred times in your life - you know that a runny nose goes away in a couple of days. And then a week passes, and the runny nose is like the first day.
The taste of food and smells also change. You stop loving some foods. It seems to me that the brain just plays some strange tricks: I once drank fruit tea during chemistry, and after that I can’t stand strawberries. The same thing happened with ginger or my mother’s favorite perfume, which I also used to perfume myself with.
Recovery
The same doctor performed the operation on me as on my mother. The day before, I passed all the tests, they scanned me again after administering a contrast liquid, and they also inserted a wire into the lymph node in order to find the path to the tumor during the operation. The wire stuck out from under the armpit - it was inconvenient.
When I was wheeled out into the corridor on a gurney, every nurse who was undergoing chemotherapy (there are only 10-15 people) came up, hugged me and wished me good luck. In a hospital in Germany, everyone hugs all the time.
After the operation, everything came to me sports group, with whom I studied to support. And the pharmacist from whom I bought painkillers sent flowers along with the order. Classmates from Moscow recorded a video with songs and dances.
After the operation, I have to come for an ultrasound once a month. Now I am on a course of radiation - it is done every day for five minutes for six weeks. It consolidates the effect of chemistry. Radiation has no side effects, but you get very tired.
After this is over, I will need to take anti-cancer medication for five to ten years to prevent the cancer from coming back. I will be participating in an experiment testing a new drug, and there is a 50% chance that I will be given a placebo.
I am healthy again and now I feel immortal. I want to teach English and work in a kindergarten.
